66 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
66 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
|
Volume One of a forthcoming series:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
A Cool 3.7 Million
|
|||
|
|
...An Excursion Into The World of
|
|||
|
|
The Stainless Steel Rat...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I stood in line, as patient as everyone else, my filled out forms gripped
|
|||
|
|
hotly in my hand. There was 3.7 million credits being held (for the moment) in
|
|||
|
|
the supposed safety of the vault here at the Planetary Revenue Service office,
|
|||
|
|
and I intended to have every single millicred in my hot little hands within the
|
|||
|
|
hour.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
After an interminable wait I came to the be second-in-line. I assured myself
|
|||
|
|
that I had all of my equipment by casually patting my various pockets.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The ancient, waspish teller scowled as she asked, "Your forms please sir."
|
|||
|
|
Then she expectantly extended a aged and wrinkled hand over the counter.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Yes is a matter of fact," I reply, letting the paperwork fall away to reveal
|
|||
|
|
the bore of the immense .70 recoilless pistol in my hand, "bring me to the
|
|||
|
|
vault."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
All of the alarms went off at once, and I heard the doors crash shut. The
|
|||
|
|
teller grimaced smugly.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Good for you," I said, with a broad smile that showed the broad expanse of
|
|||
|
|
gleaming, needle sharp teeth I sported today.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Don't let a litle thing like that stop you from leading me to the loot."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
She chose that moment to faint. People started to rush about in a cheerfully
|
|||
|
|
agitated way and gun-waving guards began to appear, looking about
|
|||
|
|
enthusiastically for someone to shoot, so I tripped the radio relay in my
|
|||
|
|
pocket. There was a series of delightful explosions all around the bank, from
|
|||
|
|
trash cans where I had planted a variety of different gas bombs, followed by the
|
|||
|
|
even more delightful screams of panicky customers. I slipped on the gas tight
|
|||
|
|
goggles and clamped my mouth shut so I was forced to breathe through the filter
|
|||
|
|
plugs in my nostrils. The combination of tear gas and sleepy-gas was almost too
|
|||
|
|
much and for a moment I thought I might succumb too.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I leapt dexterously over the counter and ran for the "safe." My trusty
|
|||
|
|
laser-cutter made short work of the manifold locks, and I was in.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
There were a few guards inside, so I smiled and tossed a sleepy-gas grenade to
|
|||
|
|
the nearest. He caught it reflexively, and then slid to the floor with a look
|
|||
|
|
of bafflement.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The other guards barely had time to draw their guns before they too were
|
|||
|
|
affected by the gas. Someone had thoughtfully put the money in bags for me, so
|
|||
|
|
I hurriedly donned the uniform of one of the guards and grabbed the money.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Leaving the vault, I exited the bank through the back exit, and found that the
|
|||
|
|
same thoughtful someone who had bagged the money had towed my getaway car away.
|
|||
|
|
Luckily for me, they left a nice armored car in it's place. I climbed in, and
|
|||
|
|
tossed a sleepy-gas grenade into the driver's lap.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
After moving him to the passenger side, I wheeled around the block, ditched
|
|||
|
|
the truck, And removed the uniform, pointy dentures, wig and the pillow in my
|
|||
|
|
shirt. I then hailed a cab and rode with him for awhile. After paying the
|
|||
|
|
cabbie, I loitered about for a bit, hailed another cab, sped for the airport to
|
|||
|
|
my waiting helijet and a glass of premium alcohol, at the expense of the
|
|||
|
|
taxpayers, of course.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
-- Berserker (10/29/85)
|
|||
|
|
|