84 lines
4.4 KiB
Standard ML
84 lines
4.4 KiB
Standard ML
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[*]========================================================================[*]
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> CHESTER'S GUIDE TO: <
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> Picking Up Little Girls <
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> -by Chester the Molester <
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[*]=========================================================================[*]
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Have you ever hung out around playgrounds wishing you could just sweep some
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little girl off of her feet,drag her to some isolated area,and force her to have
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sex with you? If you have,you are not alone! There are many people out there
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just like you(no joke)! There are even organizations formed for this purpose!
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Organizations like the M-B.L.A (Man-Boy Love Association),and my favorite,the
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Female Society (aka: United Lesbian Organization,which boasts 762 minor
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members!)...boy oh boy,wouldn't I like to get my mits on all that muff?
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Anyway,on with the show!
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[1] Where to find 'em
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Girls 9 and under frequent playgrounds. These types are tight and almost
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always bleed (unless her daddy beat you to the pie). I reccomend the use of a
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lubricant (ask her her favorite flavor;then tell her to lick it off). I have
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found that they have a tendency to yell;just belt 'em across the mouth a couple
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of times. Many can be enticed with gifts of candy or the promise of a Cabbage
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Patch Doll(which you,of course will not give to them). Still more can be found
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in school;when they go out for recess, just grab a couple(bring friends). Many
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will not swallow,so unless you wanna see a perfectly good load of jiz spit on
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the ground,fuck them 1st mouth later...Just imagine little Sissy's parents'
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surprise about 3 months later! hahaha! But actually,you are doing her a
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favor!(yes,yes you are!) Just think,in about 5-10 years when shes all grown
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up,and her friends are bragging about getting fucked at 15,she can say "Well I
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lost it when I was 8!!!"
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11-14 year olds:
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You can be a loser,and ugly as shit,but most girls between these ages will do
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*anything* you want if you seem interesting enough. Take them to a weight
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room,and let 'em watch He-Man work out. Let them try to do what you do,and,if
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you are not a pussy,they will not be able to lift the "amazing tonage" you have
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so easily lofted into the air,thus arousing their interes. in you. Tell them
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how you phreak,and run up other peoples fone bills,show them a couple of philes
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on how to make bombs, & brag about how you steal software from companies,just
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like on WAR GAMES (call up an AE line,and download something + tell them about
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the risk you are taking,and about how you spent countless hours hacking at the
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system to get the password!) After all this,get them alone for a while(in the
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car is good).When you ar2 sure no-one is around,start kissing her and the rest
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is history!
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15-20 year olds:
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Never try to force it on anyone in this age group,you'll probably get a swift
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slug in the left testical. There are 3 main types in this age group:
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(1) sluts --> wear a ton of make-up,have huge sagging tits,and can be readily
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identified by rather large pocket books. To get in the sack with one of these
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honeys, just get her alone, pull out your dick and say in a commanding voice:
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"SUCK, BITCH" If she looks shocked,break the ice by saying:
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"HEY,BUT BE CAREFUL OR HE MIGHT SPIT AT YA'!" or "HIS NAME'S THADIUS,WHAT'S
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YOUR'S?" or,if all else fails "PLEASE?"
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(2) normal --> wear conservative clothing,always a bra and slip,are very
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conservative in wearing perfume or makeup; being the vile pervert you are,these
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are the hardest to "sack" and have commonly taken up to 2.5 YEARS to get into
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bed. The best and quickest way to get these babes is at gunpoint.
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(3) new-wave --> wear that hideous bright clothing that they somehow manage to
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look extremely fuckable in.Not always liberal on the makeup line,but you can
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smell 'em a mile away. These babes are my personal favorite,as you can leave
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'em when ever you want;many will get into 3-somes(bring a frien) .They often
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frequent shopping malls,look in stores like: THE GAP,CHESS KING,etc... try to
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get a cheer-leader... My favorite pick-up line for this type is: "I've got a
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penis,wanna touch it?"
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BAIT: candy,money,walkmans,sex-toys,big penises,costume jewelry(tell 'em it's
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real),muscles.
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GOOD LUCK AND GOOD HUNTIN'!
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CHESTER.
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^
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/--------/
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