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ARRoGANT CoURiERS WiTH ESSaYS
Grade Level: Type of Work Subject/Topic is on:
[ ]6-8 [ ]Class Notes [Essay on types of poems.]
[ ]9-10 [ ]Cliff Notes [ ]
[x]11-12 [x]Essay/Report [ ]
[ ]College [ ]Misc [ ]
Dizzed: 07/94 # of Words:1200 School:Public State:NY
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AUTHOR'S NOTE- All through this anthology are witticisms and anecdotes sure
to make the pleasure of reading poetry a more enjoyable experience. These
are denoted by a =>. Read these and then read the following poem or poems.
I'm sure you'll find them much better, after reading another point of view.
=> FALSIFY-"If I put a book on my head, it falsify move."
LIMERICKS
There was an old lady named Drake
Who wanted to transport a cake
Across a lagoon
Upon a pontoon;
But Drake dropped her cake in the lake!
There was a young man from New Delhi
Who had a great passion for jelly;
For breakfast and lunch
A full jar he would munch,
Till his body was nothing but belly!
=> Show me a chiropractor who's a practical joker-
and I'll show YOU a guy who tries to pull people's legs!
HAIKU
I hear the anguish
I feel the warmth of my own
What is going on?
I exit the balloon
air rushes, voices abound
Years go by, I DIE!
=> Conceit is an old disease. It makes everyone sick except the
person who has it.
TANKA
I work the magic
I weave the strands into gold
It often unravels
I see the many changes
It throws me its knuckleball....
I am swirling about
caught in some infernal hell
wind rushes, brains scramble
houses fly above my head, crash along;
caught in this huge spinning hell....
=> An air traffic controller who worked the night shift was
constantly pestered by a wiseguy pilot who landed at his field regularly.
Everytime the pilot came in for a landing at night, he contacted the tower
for permission to land and said, "Air traffic controller, guess who wants
to land."
Finally, one night the controller had his fill of the pilot's
nonsense. When the approaching pilot said to him, "Air traffic controller,
guess who wants to land," the controller shut off all the runway lights and
replied, "This is air traffic controller to guess who wants to land. NOW
GUESS WHERE TO LAND!"
=> "Does your car knock?"
"No, it just scratches at the door when it wants to come
in."
CINQUAIN
Able
to de-create
wasting away the good
to live our foolish sorry lives
poor earth.
Useless
All that life is
As Ecclesiastes
Has pronounced in all his teachings
Life is...
=> I never learned anything in grade school. My teacher was so fat that
everytime she turned around, she erased the blackboard. -Robin Williams
EPIGRAM
Someone sees the hell of war
never again to want any more.
I saw the son of a seventh one
unable to live the life he won.
=> ATTENTION! GOLFERS! DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE
COMPUTER
TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS
O A
T
O F
PL A
O F
FS
TORONTO BLUE JAYS
ONTO
B E S
T
S
E A S
O N
=> "I just read where the Department of Commerce says that
by the year 1995, there'll be over 200 million cars in this
country."
"I guess that if anybody wants to cross the road, they'd
better do it now."
ALPHABET
BASEBALL
At-Bat
Bunt
Called Out
Dugout
Earl Weaver
Flyout
Groundout
Homer
Infield Hit
Jump
Koufax
Linedrive
Mound
Ninth Inning
Out
Pop Fly
Quit While You're AHEAD
Relief Pitcher
Strikeout
Throw
Umpire
Valenzuela
Whiff
Xciting
Yogi Berra
Zoooom!
NAMES
Aaron
Beth
Charlie
Dave
Earl
Fred
Greg
Harry
Irene
Jerry
Kira
Larry
Mark
Nathan
Otto
Paul
Quentin
Rick
Steve
Tom
Unice
Vinnie
Walter
Xavier
Yolanda
Zack
=> BOY-What are you doing with that piece of rope?
OLD-TIMER-That's not a rope sonny, its a weather gauge.
BOY-Well how do you tell the weather with that rope?
OLD-TIMER-Its simple sonny. When it swings back and forth,
it's windy. When it gets wet, it's raining.
FREE VERSE
THE REALITY
do you
sleep with
a micro
phone in
your face
to record all
of the ideas
in a dream (
that may be
lost)
of the greatest
thing- I saw
through the
skin and flesh
and the falsehoods
of self-esteem
and I saw -
me. Just me.
=> The telephone on the editor's desk rang insistently.
When he answered, a voice said, "You're all wet about the
high cost of living. My wife and I live sumptuously, eating
everything we like, on less than a dollar a week."
"A DOLLAR A WEEK!" cried the editor. "I can't believe it!
Won't you tell me how you do it, and to make sure I get the story
straight, please speak louder."
"I can't speak louder," came the answer. "I'm a
goldfish."
ACCEPT IT OR LEAVE IT TO BE
Standard
see
we can see past the
standard at by
which we
are judged.
Do we know
what we are
judged by or
are we waiting
to accept our
fate?
YOU HAVE
NO RIGHT TO
WALK THE WAYS OF THE SCHOOLED ONE
1 to ten
A to Zed
learnt
back and
forth to
the edge
of insanity
poring
over books
and listening
to fat smelly
teachers and
sing about forgotten
scriptures and
nothing to believe
a basis to think to
live a life of
learning.
A's! B's! FAILED! S.O.B.!
No allowance! Left
to learn in sorrow
school
=> "My day started off bad. This morning I slept through
the alarm. To make matters worse it was my smoke alarm. You can't
imagine how depressing it is to open your eyes the first thing in
the morning and find yourself ten stories up on a ladder over a
fireman's shoulder."
-Bill Cosby
LOOK BUT JUST SEE THE IMAGE
Ought to Naught
with nothing to see
wanting the standard
yet nothing may see past
time.
the standard
break it for
a life
worth
Nothing next to.
-David Ip 1992
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