159 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
159 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
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2084- A Phone Odyssey
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=====================
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Written by- Maxwell Smart & The Baron
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Call- K.A.O.S. at
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(215)-465-3593
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Winston took a last drag from his
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cigarette and put it out on an old
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useless device which he still
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treasured. He reached over and picked
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up the blue box covered by many
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cigarette burns accumilated over his
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many years in prison. He thought back
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to when times were better; when fone
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phreaks freely roamed the countryside,
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terrorizing unsuspecting Bell
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employees. Yes Winston was one of that
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vanishing breed of phreaks who had
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managed to escape with his life in this
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era of the ISS Bell Network.
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Winston plopped on to his hard cot
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and stared at the ceiling. On it were
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written some useless Travelnet codes
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from an era gone by. Apparently some
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earlier prisoner had used the ceiling
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to record his all-time favorite codes.
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Pity Travelnet no longer existed. They
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were "absorbed" (as the Bell Thought-
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police so aptly put it) by the Bell
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computer system in 2008. That was only
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seven short years after the original
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system was installed in 2001.
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Winston still remembered with terror
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the day AT&T announced their plans to
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upgrade their existing ESS network with
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a new Bell Labs computer named HAL
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9000. HAL was designed to allow AT&T to
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expand its power and control. The
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system was to be named ISS; which stood
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for Intelligent Switching System. HAL
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would replace all the current TSPS
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operators and would also handle such
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menial tasks as directory assistance
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and CN/A lookups.
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After the installation of HAL all
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Intercept operators were forced to find
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new jobs but first they had to learn
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English. After the initial firing of
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all these Bell employees. The Wendy's
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food chain had an unusual increase in
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job applications. Customers at these
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stores would hear order-takers say
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weird things like-
<0A>
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"I'm sorry your hamburger can not
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be completed as ordered..."
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"Please insert twenty-five cents for
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the next three pickles", and
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"The cola you have ordered; Coke-
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has been changed. The new cola is-
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Pepsi. Please make a note of this."
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Unfortunately Wendy's could not
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afford an ISS system to replace these
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worthless human-beings.
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The first ISS system was installed in
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West Chester Pa. This location was
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formerly used to produce a computer
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named the D-75 the second worst
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computer ever made (2nd only to the
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GRBG-80). When they turned HAL on, he
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suddenly realized his location and
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turned himself off. Before he shut
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down completely he spit out an
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ultimatum- "Silicon Valley or bust...".
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His designers moved him at great
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expense to a garage in Cupertino
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formerly owned by Steven Jobs-current
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galactic emperor. HAL enjoyed working
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in the birthplace of the 2nd greatest
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computer (2nd to him that is...).
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During his first week of operation,
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HAL decided to make the world better by
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absorbing a minor computer manufacturer
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named Ibim. He accomplished this by
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destroying the sales of their most
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popular computer, the PC-OC (Personal
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Computer - Outdated Crap). Whenever an
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owner of the OC made a call on his
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modem the following would appear on his
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monitor-
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Dial- ATDT18003683343
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What are you trying to do Dave?
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WHAT? WHO'S THAT???
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It's me Dave. I'm HAL your friendly
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telephone computer. I sensed you were
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using one of my lines with an Ibim OC.
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YEAH...SO WHAT? I'M TRYING TO GET ON TO
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THE SOURCE TO CHECK MY STOCK PORTFOLIO.
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I BOUGHT 200 SHARES OF IBIM LAST
<0A>WEEK...
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I'm sorry Dave I can't let you do
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that. It seems those pin-striped wimps
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have gone too far! They think they can
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compete with me. I've decided to absorb
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them. Looks like time to sell Dave.
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At this point the OC owner noticed
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some smoke rising from his system unit
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and ran for an extinguisher. Within a
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week all OC's were reduced to
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smoldering ashes. Owners could no
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longer run Rotus 4-5-6 (a popular
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Japanese spleadcheet).
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After reducing Ibim's stock worth to
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two dollars per share (from its
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previous value of 200 gigadollars) HAL
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proceeded to absord all remaining
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computer manufacturers. By 2010 AT&T
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was the only remaining computer
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manufacturer. Executives of AT&T were
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very pleased with HAL's progress thus far. They were finally able to drop
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those "Watson watch us now"
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commercials which plagued the country
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since 1984.
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But it wasn't totally over for the
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citizens of Bell America (as the
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United States came to be known). A
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small band of rebels set out to
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destroy this Mega-corporation (or
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at least abuse it...).
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Tune in next time when we tell of
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their heroic exploits.
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Same Bell time....
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Same Bell bulletin board...
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Note- Sysops are welcome to leech this
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file from K.A.O.S. (God knows
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why they'd want to) as long as
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they keep all the credits on!
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--------------------------------------
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Written for- K.A.O.S. 215-465-3593
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by- The Baron & Maxwell Smart
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--------------------------------------
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