139 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
139 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
|
CHRISTIANITY - CONCERNS FOR THE AD&D PLAYER
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[In outline form, the following is why playing AD&D is better for you than
|
|||
|
|
being a Christian. If you don't claim to be an AD&D player, you can ignore
|
|||
|
|
this. If you claim to be an AD&D player, listen up! -Silver Ghost]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" -- The Spanish Inquisition
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
ORU (Oral Roberts University), producer of millions of dollars every year,
|
|||
|
|
was founded a long time ago. Estimates of its sales have been as high as:
|
|||
|
|
$400 million in 1979, $852 million in 1983, $1.56 billion in 1985, and $6
|
|||
|
|
trillion in 1987--and remember, all this is tax-free. In 1980, 500
|
|||
|
|
children, aged 16-18, became freshmen at Oral Roberts University, where
|
|||
|
|
they will take stimulating and exciting classes such as: Chastity After
|
|||
|
|
Marriage 101; Peace And Profit 203; Praying In Modern-Day Southern
|
|||
|
|
Indiana 604. But these games include some aspects that warrent a closer
|
|||
|
|
look by Advanced Dungeons & Dragons players and their parents. Some of
|
|||
|
|
these are suggested here:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
1. There is a danger in becoming over-involved in Christianity, spending
|
|||
|
|
a large amount of time, money, and interest in it.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
a. Jesus, originator of the religion, said that "if thou doest not go to
|
|||
|
|
church every Sunday for the rest of your life, thee shall be ridiculed by
|
|||
|
|
thy fellow Christians, and thee stands a good chance of burning in Hell for
|
|||
|
|
all of eternity. So go ahead, makest my day."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
b. Articles in newspapers and magazines have told of many people who
|
|||
|
|
spent many hours a day or week praying, some spending hundreds to
|
|||
|
|
thousands of dollars in materials or at conventions.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
c. Again Christ has said: "You have to pursue me with your entire soul
|
|||
|
|
if you're going to do well at this sort of thing." (Stoning Role-Players,
|
|||
|
|
October, 15 A.D.)
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
d. People tell of thinking about nothing but salvation, having no
|
|||
|
|
friends who aren't Christian, experiencing peer pressure to go to church,
|
|||
|
|
and rejection of those who do not (see Christ as quoted above).
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
e. Dragon Magazine 104 tells us that priests can cast Fire Storm and
|
|||
|
|
create Holy Water that can do 1d6 of damage to evil beings summoned from
|
|||
|
|
another plane; yet few Christians even know how to operate a simple
|
|||
|
|
flamethrower, and even fewer know how to dispel or destroy a mere skeleton
|
|||
|
|
or zombie.
|
|||
|
|
Does Christianity measure up to these standards?
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
2. There is a danger in players becoming too involved with deities.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
a. People have said: "I've seen people have fits, yell at ninety-five
|
|||
|
|
decibels, hurl small furry animals through stained-glass windows...when
|
|||
|
|
they become possessed by the Holy Spirit." "It's when you take the Bible
|
|||
|
|
home with you, when Fred's mad for a week because Susie threatened to
|
|||
|
|
become a Satanist, that it's an addiction." Dr. Hornblow Nonothing, an
|
|||
|
|
eminent leading scientist at Scientific University, said "Those who are put
|
|||
|
|
together well to begin with don't need to use pads. Huh? Well what ARE we
|
|||
|
|
talking about then? This isn't 'Ask Doctor Ruth?'"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
b. Many find Christianity to be an escape from the fantasy world and
|
|||
|
|
find it to be less exciting. But some have found it hard to confuse the
|
|||
|
|
real and the imaginary, and end up stranded there forever.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
c. Gary Gygax NEVER talks about giving up your life for AD&D and serving
|
|||
|
|
it. NEVER.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
3. Christianity contains a lot of violence.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
a. The Spanish Inquisition, though highly humorous late at night when
|
|||
|
|
you're about to fall asleep anyway, executed hundreds of witches and
|
|||
|
|
heretics without a trial, in fact usually without a charge. Actually,
|
|||
|
|
Spanish Inquisitors used really ugly and gruesome torture devices that no
|
|||
|
|
sane Dungeon Master would be even tempted to read about, much less put in
|
|||
|
|
his dungeons.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
b. The Christian Crusades of 1066 killed a whole heck of a lot of
|
|||
|
|
people, too. A lot of them were children. It would appear that it is
|
|||
|
|
ecessary to kill, not just monsters but even humans, in order to succeed
|
|||
|
|
in the game.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
c. A central Washington police department asks as a standard question of
|
|||
|
|
those arrested: "What religion are you?" And another source, which I've
|
|||
|
|
got lying around here somewhere...mmm...can't seem to find it, oh well.
|
|||
|
|
Anyway it says that 60 suicides were directly attributed to Christianity in
|
|||
|
|
1981. Yep.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
4. Christianity is an effective "teacher." Do you know what it is
|
|||
|
|
teaching? If you do, please let me know.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
a. Christianity makes use of several effective teaching/learning
|
|||
|
|
techniques such as brainwashing, meditation, involving the feelings of the
|
|||
|
|
participants, and memorization. The roles include mundane-type things like
|
|||
|
|
acountants, bureaucrats, carpenters, ditch-diggers, electricians...the
|
|||
|
|
list goes on (for 21 more letters, in fact). Other roles are those of
|
|||
|
|
Christian Soldiers, TV Evangelists (a thief/illusionist multiclass), or
|
|||
|
|
even Door-To-Door Word-Spreaders. The fantasies include doing battle with
|
|||
|
|
devils and demons using various types of weaponry, spells, and
|
|||
|
|
incantations.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
5. Christianity claims to involve the players in the worship/service of a
|
|||
|
|
god.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
a. "Christianity Explained For The Illiterate," cassette number two,
|
|||
|
|
says: "Serving a deity is a significant part of Christianity, and most
|
|||
|
|
Catholics should have a patron saint."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
b. In the Bible, a total of one god is mentioned. Think of it! Just
|
|||
|
|
one god!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
c. Exodus 23:13 tells them not to even mention the names of other gods.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
6. Christianity contains much information and encourages activity that
|
|||
|
|
deals with the real world.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
a. Dr. Bubba Joe Billy Bob, a Satanistic demon-worshipper, author of the
|
|||
|
|
book Buy This Book Or I'll Rip Out Your Kidneys And Feed Them To My Pet
|
|||
|
|
Iguana, says "Christianity is nothing but this guy talking mostly about
|
|||
|
|
celestial, supreme, awe-inspiring things, I mean cool right, but he tries
|
|||
|
|
to tie it all in with all this dull worldly ordinary stuff. What a dweeb."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
b. Christianity is geared toward morons, as evidenced by as excerpt from
|
|||
|
|
Christian T. Loyal's Book of One Hundred And One Christian Things To Yell
|
|||
|
|
At Football Games: "Two, four, six, eight / We all think that God is
|
|||
|
|
great!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
c. The thesis paper of Dr. Bob, entitled If You Don't Give Me A Passing
|
|||
|
|
Grade For This I'm Going To Rape Your Sister, explains that "while the words
|
|||
|
|
demon, devil, and Satan appear over 150 times in the Bible, there's never
|
|||
|
|
any clear definition of what it's all about, you know? I mean Christians
|
|||
|
|
don't even know how many hit points Lucifer has. That Bible's got to go,
|
|||
|
|
man. Too imprecise."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
d. While the words "demon," "devil," and "mass homicide induced through
|
|||
|
|
hallucinogenic poisons dumped into the reservoir," appear many times in
|
|||
|
|
Deities and Demigods, they mean entirely different things.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
All of the above information is available from the Silver Ghost, 4121
|
|||
|
|
Grand Prairie, Kalamazoo, Michigan, 49007, for a $666 donation.
|
|||
|
|
|