112 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
112 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
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(* Downloaded from the University of Washington by Dan Suslo, December 1984 *)
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Valley Elf,
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He's a Valley Elf,
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Valley Elf,
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He's a Valley Elf...
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So cool, so fair,
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With chartreuse hair,
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So young, secure --
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"Fer sure, fer sure,
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like, oh, man, I was really down today,
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like, sooo down,
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I almost flunked archery today,
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I was blitzed totally, it was
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wrong. Like, I wore my elven cloak
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into the dungeon, y'know, and it got all
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grody with, wow, like
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spider webs and green slime all over it,
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like yucko, like
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when I saw it when we got out I thought, oh,
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gag me with a wand,
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it was grody to the max, just psionic, like,
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and I had to clean it, oh,
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gross me out, man.
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Totally awesome. I hate to go in dungeons,
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they are so rank, and some of the monsters just like
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freak me out, man, like, totally
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disgusting, barf city man, it was so gross
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that I thought, like, Hey, keep away from me, man!
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Like no way I'm gonna ever even use my sword
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on you, I just waxed it, y'know, like
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gag me with a mace."
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Valley Elf,
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He's a Valley Elf,
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Valley Elf,
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He's a Valley Elf...
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North of Geoff, South of Ket,
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By the River Javan wet,
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Living with the stubby gnomes,
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The Valley Elves do make their homes.
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"Sure, totally, y'know, I had a dog, man,
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a cooshee, like he was special,
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a Gucci cooshee poochie,
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he had designer genes, like, really rare,
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he was just awesome, but not too housebroken.
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I had to clean up after him, and that was like grody,
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just gross to the max, but, wow,
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like, no biggie, cuz he was my
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dog, y'know, but he's gone now, totally, see,
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I met the mage the other day, and, wow, man,
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the mage has got like no,
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totally no sense of humor. Like, I made a joke,
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y'know, I thought it was super,
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like, I saw the mage and said like, hey,
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we're in the Valley of the Jolly,
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like, Ho Ho Ho, Green Valley Mage,
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just like the freakin' commercials,
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but he just looked at me, like wow,
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he must have really been out of it, man,
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like he was so out of it he threw
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one of those, like, meteor swarms at me, it was just
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awesome, I mean it was just, oh wow man, it was
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astral, and it missed me and hit my dog,
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my designer dog, like,
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crispy critter city,
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I was really bummed out, really bad like."
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Valley Elf,
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He's just a Valley Elf,
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Valley Elf,
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He's just a Valley Elf...
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He's a super Valley Elf,
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So chaotic, sure of self,
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Tall and thin and fair of face,
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His brain is lost in outer space.
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"Oh, super, like I live in the
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good part of the Valley,
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y'know, where we're all into, like,
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real ethereal things, like
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I got a set of designer ring mail
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for my birthday, I was totally
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freaked out, like, my old set was getting
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full of wrinkles and it had
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blood on it from where I cut myself
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with my short sword, yeah, really, like
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agony, man. I was in total agony
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for an hour. Really,
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but now I'm together, like,
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fer sure, no problem.
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That was close, man,
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like I was so sure I was gonna
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pass out fer sure,
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I lucked totally.
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Good thing."
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(Totally written by some gamers
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in, like, Kentucky, man,
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who don't want their names used.
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Fer sure.)
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