53 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
53 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
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Transcribed by: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
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Subject: Detachable Penis
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Detatchable Penis, by King Missile
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I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
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And my penis was missing again.
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This happens all the time.
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It's detachable.
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[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]
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This comes in handy a lot of the time.
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I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
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or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
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But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
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and the next morning I can't for the life of me
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remember what I did with it.
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First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
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So I called up the place where the party was,
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they hadn't seen it either.
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I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
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'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
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But not this time.
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So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
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I called a few people who were at the party,
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but they were no help either.
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I was starting to get desperate.
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I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
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It makes me feel like less of a man,
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and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
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After a few hours of searching the house,
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and calling everyone I could think of,
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I was starting to get very depressed,
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so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
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Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
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where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
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I saw my penis lying on a blanket
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next to a broken toaster oven.
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Some guy was selling it.
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I had to buy it off him.
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He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
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I took it home, washed it off,
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and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
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People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
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but I don't know.
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Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
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I like having a detachable penis.
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[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
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a while, then out]
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