textfiles/magazines/W0OL/w0ol-009.txt

---------------------( w0ol #9: a in-depth look at why my life sucks )-------

hee hee hee. time for another issue of w0ol where i gripe to you readers 
(2) about how much my life sucks. i can hear little kindergarten-voices 
now going "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY".

---------( 1 )---------------------------------------------------------------

yep. heres a poem i wrote in math, its dark and scary!@ im a dark scary 
person!# if you havent stopped reading, im being sarcastic! im a loser!$ 
kill me.

------------------( 2 )------------------------------------------------------

i killed a man.
i made him die.
i shot him with.
a 45.
i first walked in.
to his bedroom.
i shot his wife.
his ugly groom. *
i grinned and smiled.
and said "hee hee".
then i shot.
and capped his knee.
there was much blood.
and carnage too.
some for me.
some for you.
then he fell.
upon the ground.
i aimed at him.
he made a sound.
i shot 3 times.
i broke his bones.
i gouged his eyes.
with icecream cones.
i went outside.
and looked around.
i felt better.
and walked down-town.
to get a job.
the he had held.
the position he had always had.
but was now mine.
and rightfully so.
i killed him fair and square.
you know.

* please note the lack of sense

---------( 56 )--------------------------------------------------------------

heres another thing, its uh, its a stoooory yeah, i think, i wrote it in 
biology. woo, its a page-long description of a 30-second-event.

------------------( 23783 )--------------------------------------------------

i walked into my room and took the gun out of my drawer. i opened my 
mouth wide and placed the knobby barrel into the orfice. i felt the cold 
unforgiving barrel slide to the back of my throat, and tasted the 
metallic body of it. my finger clambered for the trigger, i contracted it 
and the trigger moved back. i heard the soft sound of the firing pin 
moving back and locking. slowly it moved foward and sprung against the 
unsuspecting bullet. the gun shuddered as the bullet exploded inside it, 
the barrel warmed as the projectile flew down the tube and reached my 
throat. the first layers of skin were penetrated easily and torn away, it 
quickly reached my spinal column. the slug split my bones and reached the 
spinal chord, as it split my body ceased to function and my arm went 
limp. the bullet split the back of my spinal column and reached the skin 
surface. my skin bulged momentarily until it split. bone splinters flew 
from the hole as the bullet emerged and raced towards the wall. splats of 
blood soon followed and freached the wall shortly after. my head fell 
foreward as my neck buckled back and i hunched over. the gun hit the 
floor with a thud, landing on a unsuspecting ant. poor bug.

--------------( 5321982 )---------------------------------------------------

notice the numbers. other than the fact that they get bigger each time, 
what the fuck is up with them!@?? i dunno either.
uhm
here is a story.
yeah

----------( -1921 )----------------------------------------------------------

                   The Day I Kicked New Providence's Ass

one day i woke up ever so happily and decided to go to the OLP fair, yay, 
so i floundered out of bed and slid down the stairs and started to walk 
there, when i got there i realized what a fool i was for not wearing any 
sort of CLOTHING. people soon pointed me out as being naked and i ran 
away, when i got home i put some clothes on and resumed going to the 
fair. when i got to the fair the jocks slapped my back and made 
naked-guy-jokes about me, i angrly walked away. i was bored and walked up 
to a man at one of the stands, he was holding a gun, woo, i gave him five 
bucks and he took a large tube of bullets and put it on the base of the 
gun, he lowered them in with a satisifying click. he gave me the gun and 
i pointed it at the picture of saddamn hussien, i aimed at his left eye 
and pulled the trigger, i grinned as not only his eye, but most of his 
face, distegrated into paper-dust. teeheehee. i realized what fun i could 
be having and spun around, as i pulled the trigger i waved the gun around 
mobster-style and innocent new-providencers dropped left and right. i 
heard a noise behind me and realized that it was the man trying to turn 
the gun off, i spun around and showed him no mercy as i removed his 
kneecaps. he fell to the ground and two small pools of blood formed in 
front of him, i grinned and shot his left then right eyes out and 
decapitated him with a stream of slugs. awww yeah. i then realized that i 
would have little luck with the gun because it was running out of ammo 
and i couldnt move it. i also noted the "propper authorities" had been 
notified. i ran towards a gift-stand and stole a can of silly string, 
placed it on the ground pointed towards one of the approaching pigs and 
whipped out my zippo, i lit it and stabbed the back of the can, silly 
string flew out and contacted the flame, it flew forward and smacked the 
cop with an OOF, he burst into flame and his corpse flew into the 
pigmobile. then i grabbed a few of thoes big plastic bats, i smacked one 
of the cops to death with it and took his gun. muahah, i shot them all. 
then i saw a jock-hero-fucker running towards me, i grabbed his neck and 
spun around, slamming his head, eye first, onto one of thoes 
lotto-wheels. the small nails easily replaced his eyes and i gave it a 
big spin. then i stole a teddy-bear for the girlfriend i dont have. after 
i had done this i ran to the Zipper and poured motor-oil on it, heeheheh, 
it made a nice fire. 
sometimes i think back and i regret what i did.




well, except for the cop.
OOF.

-------------------( -1 )----------------------------------------------------

yeah. uhm, i guess thats it

--------( -13615637576 * 6125461725846175361253871253761238 )----------------

OH GOD, a number that lame must mean... 45C!!

---------------( 31337 )-----------------------------------------------------

first ill draw a standard box.

 .---------.
 |  y   w  |
 |    0    |
 `---------'

y0w
ugh.
i feel like NOT DRAWING.
but i have to. or nobody will read this.
heres my MOTD for my IRC server, on the m0gnet network

welcome to
             .,.       .,.     ,%#@$@#%.    .,-s-,.   
            d$$$b     d$$$b   d$$P`~'Y$$b  d$$$$$$$D  
           d$$$$$b   d$$$$$b  d$$D  ZZ$$D d$$P'`~~'   
          d$$b d$$b d$$b d$$b Y$$D ZZA$$D $$P         
         d$$b   d$$s$$b   d$$b Y$DZZ A$$D $$D         
        d$$b     d$$$b     d$$b YZZ  A$$D $$b   $%.   
       d$%P       `~'       d$$b Y.,.Y$$P Y$$b.,d$$b  
      `,.b                   d.,' @$@WP'   Y$$$$$$'   

                            nEt

Nevermind server, at nevermind.lag.novasys.com
- ( nettle ) -

yeah.
woo.
###               ###
 ###             ###
  ###   #####   ###
   ### ### ### ###
    #####   ##### oo

hah.
uh.
@QUH FUCK DHFOIHQOIHOQHW JAHIA STUIPDIQHIQOH FUCKING SIHAOSDIH
ok
check this 
ill draw a snail
@.
actual size
y0w.

---------------------------+ eDiToR CoMmEnT +----------------------------------

i lost my computer beacause im a dumbfuck so dont email me, hah, like you 
were going to

---------------------------------+ InDeX +------------------------------------

 this is so you can find them:

        #1: w0ol comes from sheep! (nettle)
        #2: the electric santa (nettle)
        #3: gourmet food, gourmet boredom (nettle)
        #4: toast some pixie stix in the hour that doesnt exist (nettle)
        #5: no comprende? (nettle)
        #6: the annual collage issue (nettle)
        #7: w0ol, a joke in every issue!@ (nettle)
        #8: we force you into unbearable positions (nettle)
        #9: a in-depth look at why my life sucks (nettle)
   
wow

-------------------------------+ people of w0ol +------------------------------

nettle
(thats all right now.. so write sumfin!#)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ email addresses _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                          
nettle:

nettle@novasys.com
nettle@nevermind.lag.novasys.com
nettle@nexxus.novasys.com

thats it..

-----------------------+ useless archives +----------------------------------

ftp:

nevermind.lag.novasys.com : /pub/w0ol
landslide.openix.com : /ftp/phorce/w0ol

morse code:

the top of springfield avenu, ill have a flashing light there encoding
w0ol 24/7.

if you would like to contact w0ol send email to
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in one of our issues as a question/comment type thing, email
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