109 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
109 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
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### ###
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### #### ### ### ### ####
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### ### ##### ### ###
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### ### ##### ### ###
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########## ### ### ##########
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### ###
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### ###
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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####### ## ## ####### # # ## ## ####### ####
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ##
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#### ## ## #### # # ####### ####### ##
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ##
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## ## ####### ####### # # ## ####### ######
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[ The Mystery Of The Dead Fish ] [ By The GNN ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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THE MYSTERY OF THE DEAD FISH
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by THE GNN/DCS/uXu
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King Khung Kong IV suddenly entered the chamber and the three scientists
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ended their conversation and fell flat to the marmoreal floor. Down there
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they stayed put for a minute or so, paying their respects, while King Khung
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Kong made himself comfortable in the throne. The scientists, appropriately
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dressed in the latest fashion of the dark ages - black robes, long beard -
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slowly got up from the cold floor.
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"You are members of the Royal Society," said the King. "Thus, you are the
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greatest scientists of our country. I have invited you to my castle as I
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need your help. Nature conceals its inner truth behind riddles and enigmas.
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I want answers. I want to know why water boils at a much lower temperature
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at the top of a mountain, I want to know why fire seizes to be if it is
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mixed with water, I want to know why the stars appear to be moving in
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concentric circles (Ptolemy merely stated matters of fact, no explanations,
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lazy bastard)."
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The scientists gladly explained. It did not take long.
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"Water boils at lower temperature at a mountain top because God has
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decided it to be so. Amen."
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"My dear colleague is an idiot, and rather unscientific too. Water boils
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at a lower temperature because water is more sensitive to fire at a mountain
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top due to the fact that it has there lost connection with Earth (according
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to the physics of the great, great Aristotle)."
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"After this unintelligent guessing game, it is time for me to reveal the
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truth. Water boils at a much lower temperature at a mountain top because the
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pressure of the aether is lower there."
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The king seemed perplexed. The three men of knowledge solely shared
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opinions on which clothes to wear and that a long beard was a necessary
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feature of a man of knowledge. "Well, eh, that was three completely
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different answers. Which one of you am I to trust?" he asked.
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This was the only question to which the scientists gave a corresponding
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answer. In one voice, they declared: "You shall trust the answer you find
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most believable. You shall trust the answer that is coherent, well-founded
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and based upon true scientific knowledge. Now, regarding fire and water..."
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"Never mind," interrupted the King and continued after a rhetorical
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pause, "Now... I want to know the solution to the greatest enigma of them
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all: why does a dead fish weigh more than a living one?"
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Painful silence.
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"You do not know? Well, fear not. No one else knows either", said King
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Khung Kong IV. "This is a problem for future generations to solve I guess."
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And then, without knowing about it, the King deeply insulted the
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scientists: "Even science has certain limits, yes?"
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One of the scientists cleared his throat, and explained that "Hypotheses
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are like nets, you have to cast to catch. Even though we yet do not know the
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accurate explanation to this special inquiry, we are free to speculate,
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whereas speculation will - sooner or later - capture the correct answer and
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lead to progress."
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The King nodded and put a finger on his cheek, signalling that he was
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interested in hearing their three hypotheses on this matter.
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"A dead fish weighs more than a living one because God has decided it to
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be so. Amen, hallelujah!" chanted the first.
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"Damn religious mumbo-jumbo...", mumbled the second scientist before he
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continued, "A dead fish weighs than a living one because it is dead and
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needs to be buried in Earth; therefore, it gains extra weight so it will
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sink to the bottom of the sea and enter Earth (according to the physics of
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the great, great, great Aristotle)."
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The third and final scientist sighed.
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"Whatever. The truth is that a dead fish weighs more than a living one...
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uhm... probably because the body decomposes. You see, when a body decompose,
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it requires extra material from the ether, tiny organisms to take care of
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the process."
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The conversation was over. The King rose from his throne. The scientist
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threw themselves to the floor. The King informed them that he was now much
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wiser than before. He was deeply satisfied with their chat, as he had
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finally understood the real point of ancient and modern science. (He
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emphasized 'real'.)
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But before he exited the room, he revealed a secret: he knew the answer
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to the latest question, that is, why a dead fish weighs more than a living
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one. And the answer was rather simple too, the King assured them. The three
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scientists on the floor humbly requested to know what obvious and true
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hypotheses they had shamefully overlooked.
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"It does not," said King Khung Kong IV and left.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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uXu #451 Underground eXperts United 1998 uXu #451
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subscribe@uxu.org - notify@uxu.org - info@uxu.org - submission@uxu.org
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