73 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
73 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
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.:::::. .::::::::.
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..:::::::::::::::::.. ::::: ::::
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.::: ::::::: :::. :::::. :
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:: ::::: :: :::::::.
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: ::: : :::::::::.
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::: ::::::::
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::: :::::
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::::: oxic :::......:::: hock
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presents
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The Philosophy of the Community Cricket
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Written by Fetal Juice
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Please, if you will, imagine that throughout the entire known,
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unknown and even parallel universes, that all persons which we refer to as
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being toward, on, or behind that unbelievably large group, that we have, for
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the sake of conveniency, labeled, 'stupid' owe their ability to retain their
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intelligence to that of a single, charitable, small, and quite plainly dumb
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cricket. It is this very single, charitable, small, and quite plainly dumb
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cricket which has come to be known as 'The Community Cricket'.
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Yet surprisingly enough the Community Cricket (C.C.) is unaware that all
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of these rather stupid persons are linked to it via three and one-quarter
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unaccountable, unaccustomed, unadvised, un-American, unapt, unartistic,
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unbaked, unbalanced, unblushing, unburdened, uncalled-for, unchristian,
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unclad, unclean, uncomfortable, uncommunicative (ironic no?), unconcerned,
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unconscious, underfeed, understressed, underworked, unfaithful, unfavorable,
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unfeeling, unfit, unfortunate, unfounded, unfriendly, ungodly, ungraceful,
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unhappy (no? duh!), unhealthy, unholy, unjust, unmentionable, unnecessary
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(then why am I doing this??), unoccupied, unorganized, unoriginal,
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unpalatable, unplesant, unpopular, unprofessional, unqualified, unreasonable,
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unresponsive, unsavory, unskilled, unsociable, unsophisticated, unstable,
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unsubstantial, untaught, unthinking, untidy, unvaccinated, unwitting,
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unworthy, revolting, overbearing, overdeveloped, overpaid oversexed and a tad
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bit revolting, Peptic Ulcers. These Peptic Ulcers relay the various stupid
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person requests such as: Should I beat my heart? breathe now? Do I need to go
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the bathroom? If so then how do I use the bathroom? What is the next stupid
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thing I can say? What is the next stupid thing I can gesture? What is the next
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stupid thing you can think of for me to claim as my own personal and original
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thought even though I am unaware of your existence and tend to ignore that
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fact? Should I eat or drink Jello? Should I drink Coke or Pepsi? (If they
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choose Pepsi give up any and all hope you have of saving them). And the list
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goes on and on.. These requests are relayed directly to the 'anal' areas of
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the Community Cricket by way of semaphore. The exact reason semaphore is used
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seeing that most peptic ulcers have no arms is unclear but since it is the
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Community Cricket it makes perfect sense when you put it all together on a 4
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by 8 inch piece of yellow posterboard with green ink and then prompty set it
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ablaze with either a blow torch or a modified bic lighter on an August full
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moon that specificly occurs on any Monday although a Wednesday will suffice
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nicely.
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(c) 1989 Toxic Shock
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The Followers of Fetus
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Bloody Afterbirth
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Fetal Juice
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Gross Genitalia
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Tasty Abortion
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Twisted Testicles
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