115 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
115 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
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THO #19
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Harve & Marve:Statue of Liberty
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================================= By Exodus
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Once upon a time there were two goblins named Harve and
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Marve.They usually thought of different things to get into and ways to
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get into trouble.They live in a pile of hay in a big old barn in New
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York City.
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One day when Marve returned from the store,he found Harve
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incredibuly bored and needing to go have some fun."I'm so bored,I gotta
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destroy something or demolish it",yelled Harve."Well,the World Trade
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Center has already been destroyed,you have any ideas?",asked Marve."I
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know,let's destroy the Statue of Liberty",said Harve."Good idea",replied
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Marve,"I've always wanted to see her change her expression"."You ask me
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I think she's a little too serious",said Marve.
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After they agreed that they were gonna destroy the Statue of
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Liberty,they set out on their way.It was like a sauna outside,in the
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middle of the summer,and Harve's armpits were starting to show and smell
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how hot he actually felt."Don't you ever use any deodorant?",asked
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Marve."Whats deodorant?",questioned Harve."Oh don't worry something too
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intelligent for you to figure out",said Marve.
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After they had walked about 300 blocks(their barn was located on
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the outskirts of New York City),they saw a beautiful woman in a
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bikini.She was just simply laying on the sidewalk getting a suntan.
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"WOW,check her out!",said Harve."Watch this I know all the
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pickup lines",bragged Marve.He quickly walked over to the stunning young
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girl barely wearing anything."Nice clothes ya got there",faltered
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Marve.He was getting incredibuly nervous around her,and could barely
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speak.The girl slowly opened her eyes and looked at Marve full in the
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face."You like 'em eh?,I'm trying to get a date tonight,I would have
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worn nothing but the city won't allow it",she said.
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Thinking quickly,Marve thought of the one line that works
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everytime,has never let him down yet.He immediately popped the
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question..."By the way,is your tampon made in Korea",he confidently
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asked.He knew at this point he had won her over,he could tell.
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"Korea?,I'm afraid not,but mine is made in Taiwan!,they are made
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of better material",she said."Hey your kinda charming and cute,wanna go
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out for a date tonight?",she asked."I'd love to,what's your
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name?",asked Marve."Oh my name is Dovetail Swanbreath",she
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stated."Hmmm,just kind of rolls off my tongue,I love it!","My
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name is Marve,just plain old Marve",he said."Hmmmmm,your not related
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to Dove Falconhand are you?,asked Marve."Never heard of her",said
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Dovetail."Oh just curious",replied Marve.
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After Marve had introduced Harve and Dovetail,they were off
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walking again.When they had walked for five hours,Dovetail asked,"By the
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way where are we going?",she asked."Oh just to destroy the Statue of
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Liberty",answered Marve."Cool sounds like fun,I just wished I was
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dressed for the occasion",said Dovetail."Don't worry you look fine",said
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Marve.He gave Harve a quick wink.
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Harve was getting bored again,real quickly now.He did keep
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looking at Dovetail's thong but after a while it just wasn't enough."Say
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does your douche leek?",he asked Dovetail."Sometimes,yes",replied
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Dovetail."Okay guys,here's a good one for you",said Marve."Pretend you
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are in a huge cavern with a 30 foot long sword and a 100 monsters are
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going to attack you,what will you do?",Marve asked."Why eat a piece of
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lettuce,that's obvious",said Harve."You guys are SO charming,I love
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being with you",said Dovetail.
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Two hours latter they were almost there."You know I'm getting
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quite hungry",said Harve."Me too",agreed Marve.Marve and Harve checked
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their wallets,while Dovetail looked between her breasts."Nope",they said
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at the same time,"No damn money!".
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"Watch this",said Marve.He quickly moved into a crowd of
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people.A few minutes later he emerged with a big huge wallet."Hey you
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shouldn't be stealing",said Dovetail."Stealing?,no way",said Marve."I
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like to think of it as creative borrowing on a permanent basis",he
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said."Oh than that's okay",said Dovetail,"As long as your not stealing
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anything".
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It took them about 30 minutes to find a place to eat.They then
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located a small fast-food joint called Rat-Express.The group ordered
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their rat burgers and then proceded to sit down and eat their rat meat.
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"Hmmm,just curious,does anyone know someone called Donald
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Trump?",asked Marve."Never heard of him",said Dovetail."Why?",she
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asked."Oh cause that's the name of the person's wallet I borrowed",said
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Marve."Well,since you borrowed it,you can always return it when we are
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done using it",said Dovetail."Sure",said Marve.
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"Ugg!,I am so HOT in this weather",said Dovetail."I wish I could
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walk around naked,then I wouldn't feel so miserable",shouted Dovetail."I
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wish you could too",said Harve."Here",she said taking Marve's hand,"Feel
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me!",she them plunged his hand down her top."How do I feel?",she
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asked."Oh,hmmmmm,may take me a while to figure this one out",grinned
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Marve.After 2 hours....."Yep you definately feel hot alright",smiled
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Marve."Well then try this!",she then plunged his hand down into her
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bikini bottoms.After 4 hours....."Yep,your still hot,you gotta cool
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off",said Marve."I know tell me about it",said Dovetail.
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"Hmmm,I smell seafood!",said Harve."What?!?,can't you tell were
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eating rat burgers",said Marve."Yeah,but I smell seafood,oh
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nevermind",said Harve.
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The remaining trip to the Statue didn't take long at
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all.They were now at Liberty Island staring up at the Lady
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herself."Wow,quite impressive",said Dovetail."Yeah,but I can't see up
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her dress from here",said Harve."Don't worry when were done I'll wear a
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dress and let you look up it as long as you want",said Dovetail."Come
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on,then let's get this over with",said Harve."Calm your
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hormones,man",said Marve."So how are we going to blow it up?",asked
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Dovetail."With this",said Marve,quickly pulling out a 10 foot long piece
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of dynamite from his pants."DON'T even start!",Marve said to Harve,as if
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he knew what Harve was going to make a comment about.
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"Well now?,where are we gonna put it?,asked Harve."Watch and
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learn",said Marve.He then walked over and tickled the Statue's foot.She
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immediately started laughing."Now!",yelled Marve.Harve threw the
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dynamite stick into the Statue's mouth."How are we going to light
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it?",asked Dovetail."Lightening,we do a raindance",replied Marve.
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They then all did a raindance,and before they knew it a lightening bolt
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hit the dynamite and exploded Lady Liberty to kingdom
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come."Yeah!!!",they all yelled.
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The remainder of the day was spent walking home to their
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haystack.After which Harve had spent 7 hours of looking up Dovetail's
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dress.............
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