875 lines
36 KiB
Plaintext
875 lines
36 KiB
Plaintext
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO oOOOO OOOO. OOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" .OOOOOO OOOOOo OOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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OOOO oOOOOOOO OOOOOOO. OOOO oOOOO
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OOOO .OOOO OOOO OOOOOOOOo OOOO OOOO"
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OOOO oOOOO OOOO OOOO "OOOO. OOOO OOOOo .OOOO'
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OOOO .OOOO" OOOO OOOO OOOOoOOOO "OOOO. oOOOO
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OOOO oOOOOOOO..OOOO OOOO "OOOOOOO OOOOoOOOO"
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OOOO .OOOO"""OOOOOOOO OOOO OOOOOO "OOOOOOO'
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OOOO oOOOO ""OOOO OOOO "OOOO OOOOOO
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|---------------------------------------------------------------------------|
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| There Ain't No Justice |
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| #106 |
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- Going Crazy in the Suburbs 08: -
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"insist that nothing happened -
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try to cling to sanity"
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by Hairy
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yea, i'm at work.. but it's only about 9:30, so things are a little
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different, at least.
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listening to skinny puppy and feeling not quite as miserable as i did this
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morning. i guess i've been flirty with the overweight "i really want to be
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goth even though i'm not" girl who works here. no jill today - thank god.
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blah, blah, blah.
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i was standing here yesterday with jill being a bitch to me. i was not in,
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shall we say, a pleasant mood. i was concious of the fact that the alternator
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was about to fall off of my car, though, and that i shouldn't go anywhere of
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any great distance before fixing it. jill's best friend brenda came to
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"visit" and look down her nose at me, which (naturally) made me feel much
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better about everything. her friends seem to have some hatred of me, because
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i'm taking their precious little angel from them.
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anyway -
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jill left with brenda after work, which is typical. when there's a choice
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between two people, me or someone else, i always end up with the short end.
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whatever -
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i felt like going out and getting drunk. i felt like drinking many bad things
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and writing. i felt like staring at the bartender with the big bleached hair.
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i wanted to get so low, so low.. walk up to someone, and tell them something
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along the lines of, "i'm drunk, i'm miserable, let's fall in love tonight."
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well, it almost happened. i got up to around newark airport before the
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alternator completely fell off the fucking car. lots of big mechanical
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grinding noises, whining rubber belts.. it was a bad scene. me wearing a
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skirt and tailcoat, lots of makeup.. bad, bad, bad. i pulled off at the
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nearest exit, which was (supposedly) newark. it turned out to be a "t-n-t"
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truck dispatch yard, an overpass, and a seafood restaurant. there was a road
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that led to newark, but no sign of intelligent life. i wandered around the
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street looking for a gas station or garage - found nothing. i ended up
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finding an old pair of workboots, though, and used the boot laces to tie the
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alternator back on the car. (yay, ingenuity.) drove the crippled thing back
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home at 40 miles an hour.. the joy.. waaa.
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i don't know, i don't know what's going on. you should ignore the
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poem/prose/freeform nonsense/shit that's after this, because i wrote it when
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i was (naturally) drunk, and in a state of emotional disrepair (read:
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normality.) i know you have your whole relationship thing, i'm not going to
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touch that (as if i could, anyway).
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"kept out of sight,
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where i belong"
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why'd i give you my phone number when i was completely sober? i don't really
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know - maybe i was feeling important and unstopable that night, who knows?
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maybe i was trying to pick you up - imagine that.
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honestly, all i know is that i was standing in the middle of the floor,
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staring up at the stage, and you and your friend pushed by me, heading
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towards the back. i looked down to see what the jostling was, and i saw you
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staring up into my eyes. there was just something about it, i don't know - i
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don't know - i just knew i wanted to meet you. maybe it was those eyes, maybe
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they tell stories..
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listen to me go - whooo, boy.
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i'm freezing to death at the store. the car's outside waiting for it to be
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monday. it's a real mess, but not as bad as my other car. this one can almost
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be driveable, with minor repairs. not bad for $450, i guess.
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i hate my fucking job - i want out of here, i want out of here, i want out of
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here. i just realized this the other day, how i loathe most everyone i work
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with.. i'm more than willing to steal from the store, something i'd never
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even think of before. i just don't care..
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read this quote the other day. something like, "life is agony for those who
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allow themselves to feel." i don't know why i'm telling you that, but i am.
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so there.
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here, try this one instead: "it's so hard to find work; all i can do is mope
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the floors and depress the buttons."
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so, it's not "mister log's sex hat," but it should still be good for a laugh.
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oh, and if you don't have a mister log? then i guess it's a "mister twig".. i
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don't know, i just relay this shit to you.
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i've found lots of pretty digitized pictures to use as background. how nice.
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being i've run out of things to say (and mainly because i found a pretty
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black box), i've started throwing stupid little trinkets together to give to
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you. they're useless things, mind you.
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of course, i guess you know all about this by now, seeing as how i'm going to
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put this letter in the pretty little black box with the trinkets.
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anyway - some of them have a little hidden symbolism, most of them don't.
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it's probably not too hard to figure out. little black heart.. i mean, we're
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not little children, are we? no..
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/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
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ok - i'm at work and i'm incredibly bored (and cold). so i'm going to catalog
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all these wonderful gifts and their origins and everything. it'll be just
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like a history lesson. oooh!
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-> siouxsie and the banshees new album review
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nothing important here, just found it in the back of "spin" and
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thought it was funny.
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-> "jesus loves you" yo-yo
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half tripped over it two years ago while walking along the side of
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the road. sat in my drawer for the entire time i've owned it.
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still haven't put a string on it.
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-> worry bag (little grey pouch with the string)
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something my mother picked up in virginia, i think. if you open it,
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it's got little people in it. you're supposed to take all the people
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out, and give them each one of your worries. then you're supposed to
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put the bag under your pillow and go to sleep.
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-> "i'm so miserable since you've gone.." ad
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found it in "spin", too. reminds me of jill. a lot. maybe i should
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keep it for myself.
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-> kid with man head flyer
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i get this shit all the time. i don't know why. they're a shitty
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little pearl jam wanna-be band. cute little story, tho.
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-> picture of the meat isle at grand union
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i used to go out to supermarkets at those "ungodly" hours and take
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photos. i don't know why, but it was something to do. i've
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grown out of it.
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-> picture with a lot of white at the top
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that's me. the whiteness is my crisp white t-shirt. the
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blueness underneath it is - you guessed it - my gap jeans. and then
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there's my feet.. muahahaha.. this is an old photo, when i wasn't fat
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and dark-haired.
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-> "the video dugout" laminated business card
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when i was a sophomore, a college girl came in and taught our english
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class for a few months. she's the only person in my entire
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school who could comprehend what i was about. we sat and had long
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talks, she made me realize i wasn't the only miserable freak in the
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world.
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-> allstate insurance card
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self-explanatory..?
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-> "hello - my name is" sticker
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i stole this out of the supply room when i was in eighth
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grade, but i never used it. i never used any of them. god knows why i
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took them in the first place.
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-> one official "gap" extra button
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just in case.. you know..
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-> shoprite i.d. badge
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my first "real" job, which was forced upon me after i received a
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hefty nine hundred dollar fine for my first "real" crime.
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-> peppermint of dubious origin
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it's been on my dresser for months. i'm tired of looking at it.
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-> two ticket stubs
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found them in the pocket of my tailcoat after i bought it. i didn't
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realize the coat was so old.
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-> "i'm with stupid" button
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no emotional attachment that i can think of.
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-> assorted black plastic critters
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more things i'm tired of looking at.
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-> little electronic thing-a-ma-jig
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well, ok. go to radio shack and buy a "pocket tone dialer".
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business types use them to store their phone numbers. take it apart,
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and unsolder the similar looking electronic thing-a-ma-jig inside,
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and replace it with this one. turn it on. press the "*" key
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five times. ever put a quarter in the telephone and listen? sounds
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*amazingly* similar. so similar, in fact, that i don't pay for many
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telephone calls..
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-> orange squiggly worm
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i went on "vacation" on long beach island a few summers ago, with my
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(then) girlfriend beth. we won this (wow!) at some arcade.
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-> three fingernails (do not eat)
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homegrown. pasteurized. homogenized.
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-> "i just can't get enough" button
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sounds nice - i'd never wear it.
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-> brass colored token with the "t" on it
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from the "t" (subway) in boston. i ventured up there about three
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years ago (?) to meet a girl i had been writing to for a year or so.
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melysa. she promptly moved to oregon and went to reed college, i
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never heard from her again. jill reminded me of her when i
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first met jill, maybe i should've.. well, whatever.
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-> three negatives
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look closely. you'll see.. "olga's diner".. a water tower with a
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smiley face on it.. a little monkey holding up a big sign..
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-> piece of paper that says "detach"
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stub from a money order. i forgot what i was paying for. i hate
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banks, so use lots of money orders.
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-> little plastic gun
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let it litter your drawers, i'm sick of it.
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-> soda can ring
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rule number 1: always keep atleast one "free fuck" on hand.
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-> little black heart
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no explanation needed.
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-> ticket stub to some movie
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i bet you just don't see enough of these as it is.
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-> big red "die" sticker
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i like it. you should like it, too.
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-> drug mart
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$23 for a little tube of fucking white cream! what a sham. what a
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ripoff.
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-> weird looking thing with a ring on the end
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this is from my first relationship fuck-up. after awhile, the girl
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said i'd "won the key to her heart". she had this little heart
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pendant she always wore. anyway - she gave me this little skeleton
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key (real cheap jewelry) on a necklace, and i was supposed to
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wear it. well, i broke the fucking thing in two. not once, but twice.
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i love my luck.
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bleh.
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i feel like shit. i'm still at work. i got miserable as soon as jill came in
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- i don't know why. i was in a pretty good mood.
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i've met some girl named "nancy" (yow, my mother's name) and i'm going to end
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up breaking her heart. she's very sweet, very innocent. i'm going to hurt
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her, but i'm probably not going to be big enough to do anything to prevent
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it.
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it's nice that i met her, though. she's refreshing. very.. real, i guess.
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she's not a fashion slave, not some sort of.. let's put it this way: she's
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the opposite of brittany.
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seventeen, though. really scary. i feel like a dirty old man.
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maybe i should duck out of existence for awhile longer.
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this letter probably seems rehashed. i didn't plan on talking to you on the
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phone. i went off and told you all about the dead car (my one big story) and
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flattened the letter. sob, sob.
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i haven't read your book. i will, though, i promise.
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i keep my promises.
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i hate my job, i hate the people i work with. i think i'm going to apply at
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some cheesy mailorder computer warehouse down the street. they're open
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twenty-four hours a day, maybe i can find a home in the darkness. if i can
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get $7 an hour, i 'll do any sick perverted thing you can think of.
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i'd be more than happy irradiating myself in the darkness while assembling
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computers i can't afford.
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la, la, la.
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maybe i should close my eyes fall in love with this girl nancy maybe maybe i
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should just close my eyes forever
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la, la, la.
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maybe i'll call you tonight. i'm lonely as hell.
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/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
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going crazy at work again.. i can't stand this place. i'm really fed up with
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all of it.. the tedium, working with you know who.. waa.
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atleast siouxsie is tomorrow.. we (nancy, her friend liz & i) will probably
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end up going to either the bank or the batcave after the show.. that should
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be refreshing. i've been trying to put an end to going out so often. (partly
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because of tom's childishness, partly because i know if i go out i'll end up
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meeting other people and.. well, i don't really want to meet anyone else
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right now..) so, anyway, it should cap it off pretty well. one last "hoorah"
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for a while.
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somebody's listening to "it'll end in tears" and it's putting me to sleep.
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got another insurance bill today. yay. still owe citibank $1200..
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my teeth hurt. they've hurt since the night before last. varying degrees of
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agony, but they hurt all the same. very troubling. very annoying.
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hand's doing well, but all the dead skin peeling off makes me think that
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maybe, just maybe, my body is rejecting it. maybe it's flaking off all the
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layers between the surface and the ring. who knows? i can't really tell that
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it's moved any, and it seems fairly well healed (it's been three and a half
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weeks). no pain, no swelling.. just the regular ooze and the dead skin. mmmm.
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i'll go see the piercer on saturday, probably. nancy & i are going to make an
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effort to go find "domsey's warehouse" in new york. lots of thrifty used
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clothing, supposedly. we'll see, we'll see.
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i should go out for food. i should get out of this fucking 3000 square foot
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coffin for a little while.
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teli got laid. yay teli. you don't know who he is, but that's alright. he's
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20, and deathly afraid of disease. he never even masturbated until he was 19.
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well, anyway, he met his woman. "woman," because she's 30, divorced, and has
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two ten year old children.. go teli, go studboy. he met her at the limelight
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a few weeks ago. she doesn't speak english, so he got to flex his spanish
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skills. when asked for his opinions of the experience, he said, "i put it in
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and thought, 'hey, i like this.'"
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::sigh::
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i haven't written shit, i haven't done shit. i'm "marking time."
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..k-k-k-ken, coming to k-k-k-kill me..
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well, this has been another half-stab at a real letter. sorry. i'll include
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moderatly interesting filler to try and make up for it.
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/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
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you don't exist in this house
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this stroboscopic disillusion
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stumbling towards emptiness
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towards the daylight
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don't lie to me
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don't play these games
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big emotions
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(fear)
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big thoughts
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(self-destruct)
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|||
|
|
|||
|
can't quite understand
|
|||
|
what you're saying
|
|||
|
swaying
|
|||
|
to and fro
|
|||
|
swaying
|
|||
|
in and out of conciousness
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
don't leave me here
|
|||
|
in this corrosive element
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
whenever you're ready
|
|||
|
just take me away
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
|||
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
grim embers
|
|||
|
uncontained
|
|||
|
souls on fire
|
|||
|
in the dark
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
kiss your crown
|
|||
|
kiss your glory
|
|||
|
master
|
|||
|
slave
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
no good deeds done today
|
|||
|
love saunters off in bitterness
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
oh
|
|||
|
it's you again
|
|||
|
don't cheat me this time
|
|||
|
give me all of it
|
|||
|
all of it
|
|||
|
now
|
|||
|
depression
|
|||
|
isolation
|
|||
|
love loss
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
give me the desolation
|
|||
|
you know how it drives me
|
|||
|
pushes
|
|||
|
forgotten limits
|
|||
|
reality of excess
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
disjointed smile
|
|||
|
beauty snarls
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
|||
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
hey
|
|||
|
hey you
|
|||
|
can you hear me
|
|||
|
over there in all that
|
|||
|
tainted happiness
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
intoxication
|
|||
|
taking control
|
|||
|
taking away
|
|||
|
already fleeting memories
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
time
|
|||
|
space
|
|||
|
reality
|
|||
|
tick
|
|||
|
tick
|
|||
|
tick
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
red alcohol
|
|||
|
and bliss
|
|||
|
take it away
|
|||
|
baby
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
soft skin
|
|||
|
delicate
|
|||
|
fragile
|
|||
|
i'll rape you and
|
|||
|
all you know
|
|||
|
splinter it
|
|||
|
take it all apart
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
my breath is poison
|
|||
|
kiss me
|
|||
|
fuck me
|
|||
|
let me give you my disease
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
|||
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
lost night
|
|||
|
lost it in the alcohol
|
|||
|
the numbness
|
|||
|
the bzzzzzzzz
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
they're finally playing my song
|
|||
|
so late
|
|||
|
so dark
|
|||
|
so what
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
"i need a drink
|
|||
|
i need a drink now
|
|||
|
i need to feed these sinking dreams"
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
it's too bad
|
|||
|
we can't cooperate
|
|||
|
participate in unison
|
|||
|
in the pursuit of bliss
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
my soul got lost
|
|||
|
lost in the departure
|
|||
|
lost in the disentigration
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
strobes against the touch
|
|||
|
flashing skin
|
|||
|
coldness
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
lack of words
|
|||
|
lack of thoughts and
|
|||
|
feelings
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
crept away into something
|
|||
|
something i can't comprehend
|
|||
|
not anymore
|
|||
|
no reasoning
|
|||
|
no more
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
salvation lives
|
|||
|
in a five dollar glass
|
|||
|
plus tip
|
|||
|
plus tip, baby
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
refridgerated landscapes
|
|||
|
my silent vigil
|
|||
|
over nothing
|
|||
|
frozen waste
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
close it all down
|
|||
|
turn the key
|
|||
|
stale ashes
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
can you feel it?
|
|||
|
can you feel it yet?
|
|||
|
that's my heart
|
|||
|
darling
|
|||
|
caving in on itself
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
|||
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
saw me
|
|||
|
saw me, did you?
|
|||
|
wonder just what you saw
|
|||
|
what registered in those eyes
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
beautiful?
|
|||
|
beautiful..
|
|||
|
mmmmm
|
|||
|
what a charmer
|
|||
|
what a sweetheart
|
|||
|
you just wait, dear
|
|||
|
you just wait
|
|||
|
i'm no beauty
|
|||
|
i'm just waste
|
|||
|
rotten rotten waste
|
|||
|
not anything
|
|||
|
anything
|
|||
|
you'd want to look at
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
by the way
|
|||
|
by the way
|
|||
|
i'm very happy
|
|||
|
what do you mean
|
|||
|
you can't tell?
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
|||
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
try and be sensible
|
|||
|
in the dark
|
|||
|
flesh
|
|||
|
legs and other things
|
|||
|
look
|
|||
|
look but don't touch
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
rotten emotions
|
|||
|
plastic surroundings
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
make me feel
|
|||
|
make me feel again
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
surprised i haven't wretched
|
|||
|
heaved up those feelings
|
|||
|
of despair
|
|||
|
of anger
|
|||
|
of intolerance
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
dance for me
|
|||
|
twist and writhe
|
|||
|
beneath the lights and
|
|||
|
my weighted stares
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
eat you alive, baby
|
|||
|
eat you alive
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
|||
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
here i am again
|
|||
|
not particularly drunk or unhappy
|
|||
|
listening to things
|
|||
|
life shifts around me
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
|||
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
she makes me
|
|||
|
so
|
|||
|
so
|
|||
|
fucking sick
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
don't know why
|
|||
|
something about her
|
|||
|
laughing
|
|||
|
her
|
|||
|
mocking
|
|||
|
her
|
|||
|
fucking orange hair - -
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
just go away
|
|||
|
baby
|
|||
|
just go
|
|||
|
away from me
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
|||
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
nothing to say
|
|||
|
just soap opera lifestyles
|
|||
|
just nothing
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
quoth the raven,
|
|||
|
"you need some melanin,
|
|||
|
man
|
|||
|
you paler than a motherfuck."
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i love my job.
|
|||
|
i love my job.
|
|||
|
i love my job.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
|||
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i'm at work on a monday. mondays are supposed to be my days off. i'm here
|
|||
|
anyway. the boss just bought a new house, and he's shuffled the regular guy
|
|||
|
off to rip up the deck on the house. thus, i get to work.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
nancy and i are happy, most of the time. she's suicidal. really, she's got
|
|||
|
scars all over her arms - - what a gal. anyway, she understands me to some
|
|||
|
degree, so i can't complain about anything.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
jill bothers me. jill's very fucking existence bothers me. i love her (in a
|
|||
|
now friendly.. or maybe fatherly way) but at the same time i hate her, hate
|
|||
|
every bit of her.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
needless to say, i'm on the lookout for a new and exciting career
|
|||
|
opportunity.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
nancy and i seem to go "clubbing" together now, or atleast most nights, so
|
|||
|
nothing productive ever gets written when i'm out. she really does make me
|
|||
|
happy, but i'm sure that will fade soon enough.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
doesn't everything?
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
mmm.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
nothing much to say, really. just got your letter. you seem as bored as i am.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i ran over a guy on a motorcycle. dumb fucker. he deserved it. twisted his
|
|||
|
bike all to pieces. he should look for oncoming traffic before he decides to
|
|||
|
zoom out of the gas station..
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
so i get twenty eight pieces of mail a day, most all of them from the
|
|||
|
insurance companies..
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
jill's hair is.. well, it reminds me of the color your anus becomes when it
|
|||
|
gets very inflamed.. it appalls me to look at her.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
we (nancy & i) are off to boston this weekend. i'm going to be very arrogant
|
|||
|
at manray and see if i can get hit on. fun, fun, fun.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
more than likely, we'll just lay around some hotel room for three days and
|
|||
|
have lots of sex.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
tell me - tell me, why is it that the girls i get involved with, they can't
|
|||
|
have orgasms? eh? why..? and they're all italians, too. why is that, eh?
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
nancy's previous boyfriend was a guy named tom. tom didn't take the whole
|
|||
|
"breaking up" process too well. he goes out all the time, too, so we get this
|
|||
|
great little bit of nastiness most nights.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
here's a fun story, though. tom feels that i "stole" nancy away from him.
|
|||
|
that's fine and good. so, tom gets a whammy.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
it's been about a month or so now, and he's starting to get ahold of himself
|
|||
|
again. he met some girl named "kate" at the bank a week or so ago, and was
|
|||
|
supposed to meet her there this past friday.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i went out friday, wearing my $150 black corset. wheeeeee.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
anyway, kate (who i didn't know anything about at the time) kept staring at
|
|||
|
me. tom and i talked later, he explained how he didn't hate me personally,
|
|||
|
just that.. well, this part is obvious. generic soap opera drivel.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
anyhow.. kate sees us talking, and she's all over tom, grilling him for
|
|||
|
information about *me*. "he's so beautiful.." she swooned.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
so, tom gets the double-whammy from me.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i feel bad for him, really. he's a sweet guy. he's a pussywhipped asskisser,
|
|||
|
but he's still a sweet guy.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
blah, blah, blah.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
it doesn't rain, it pours.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i've got jill, nancy, kate, some girl i met friday named laura, another laura
|
|||
|
from around my general area, yvonne, beth.. i feel like i should be issuing
|
|||
|
numbers. who cares. i don't want any of them. fuck them. i'm happy with
|
|||
|
nancy, we'll see how things go.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
la, la, la.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i'm bored and i hate my job.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
hey, let's have sex.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
whatever. justin.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
/////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
|||
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\////////////////////////////////////
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
so, you like letters, eh?
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
here's the story: friday night, nancy & i drove to boston. however, we missed
|
|||
|
a crucial turn, and ended up driving to within 75 miles of montreal before we
|
|||
|
realized our error. fun, fun, fun. it took us a total of about 7 1/2 hours to
|
|||
|
get to boston, finally. we got all decked out and went to manray, only to
|
|||
|
discover that it was one of those alternating "21 and over" fridays. we went
|
|||
|
to burger king and sulked. we went back to the motel and fucked. etc..
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
saturday morning, we got up and ventured into the city for amusement. we
|
|||
|
found little. the people were all so damned nice.. it made us both
|
|||
|
uncomfortable. together, we're about as cynical and sarcastic as it's
|
|||
|
possible to be, and all that damned nicety.. it was just too much. we went
|
|||
|
back to the motel, fucked, went back to sleep.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
late that evening, we got up and tried for manray again, even though it was
|
|||
|
the "retro 80's dance party". we looked like hell. and the club sucked. we
|
|||
|
went back to the motel..
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
sunday we drove back to her house in ridgewood, to discover my car had a flat
|
|||
|
tire. still, seeking fun, we drove into the city and got my right hand
|
|||
|
pierced at andromeda. ouch! - but i'm enjoying my new toy. "nevermind the
|
|||
|
tire," we thought, "we'll deal with that later." we drove back to my house,
|
|||
|
snuggled, slept..
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
monday afternoon we trekked out to sizzler for that snazzy salad bar. between
|
|||
|
trips to the jello bowl, we tried to think of something to do. we ended up
|
|||
|
driving to philadelphia, being utterly bored and tired, and promptly driving
|
|||
|
back to my house..
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
at about 5am on tuesday morning, we got up and drove back to her house. she
|
|||
|
attended school, while i loafed around with one useless limb. i ended up
|
|||
|
changing my tire with my one good hand, going to barnes & noble for a few
|
|||
|
hours.. she came back from school, more snuggling, some sticky candy.. i
|
|||
|
left, drove home, went back to sleep.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i don't remember wednesday, even though that was yesterday..?
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
today's thursday, and i'm at work again. my hand is working much better, even
|
|||
|
though it still doesn't bend all the ways it once did.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
oh, i remember wednesday.. that was the day when i had to go down to the
|
|||
|
police station for questioning. it seems two houses in my general area had
|
|||
|
been burglarized, and some women's clothing was taken. well - i was recently
|
|||
|
stopped in north jersey by a nice officer, while i was coming home from the
|
|||
|
bank. i was terribly uncomfortable, and i had stripped my skirt and corset
|
|||
|
off and thrown them in the seat beside me. the officer (a real
|
|||
|
straight-laced, apple pie kind of joe) tried to think up different ways to
|
|||
|
ask me if i had been doing any narcotics recently..
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
anyway, because there were some women's clothes in the car, and because i
|
|||
|
live so close to the victim's houses.. you get the picture. so, anyway, i had
|
|||
|
to creep down to the police department, armed with 'ghastly' and 'propaganda'
|
|||
|
backissues to support my lifestyle.. fun, fun, fun.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
nothing else has been happening.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
really - honest.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
this is a little bit of the "telephone" game, but.. tom told nancy, and nancy
|
|||
|
told me.. that tom felt christine (i guess that was her name?) and you were
|
|||
|
both hitting on him. i told her that i doubted you'd be doing that sort of
|
|||
|
thing, but anyway..
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
my life is one big soap opera lately. waaaa.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i'm at work and jill's playing "screamin' jay hawkins". make it stop, make it
|
|||
|
stop.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
i owe everyone in the world money, because i've been going nuts lately. $1100
|
|||
|
on the credit card, $13 parking ticket, $70 on the "tab" at work, $120 for
|
|||
|
the car insurance, $20 for the phone.. and get this.. $140 and two warrants
|
|||
|
for my arrest because i neglected to pay two tickets. "failure to inspect my
|
|||
|
vehicle" and "failure to put the front license plate on".
|
|||
|
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
all that money, and i've got this burning urge to go buy a $250 pair of thigh
|
|||
|
high women's boots for myself (not those silly patent leather stiletto jobs,
|
|||
|
either.. nice ones) and a $1000 '69 chevy nova. black with lots of chrome..
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
ironically, the only suggestion the spelling check has for "manray" is
|
|||
|
"manure". heee-heee-heee.
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
<20> <20><> <20> <20> <20><> <20>
|
|||
|
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> Phoenix Modernz Systems: 908/830-TANJ <20>۲<EFBFBD><DBB2><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<EFBFBD>۱<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> VapourWare BBS: 61/3-429-8510 ۲<><DBB2><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<EFBFBD>۱<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> underworld_1995.com 514/683-1894 ۲<><DBB2><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> etext.archive.etext.org <20><><EFBFBD>۲<EFBFBD><DBB2><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20> TANJ Mailing Address <20> <20> <20> <20>۲<EFBFBD><DBB2><EFBFBD>
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> PO Box 174 <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20>۲<EFBFBD><DBB2><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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