1740 lines
55 KiB
Plaintext
1740 lines
55 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<20><> <20> <20> <20> <20> Ŀ
|
|||
|
|
<20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20>
|
|||
|
|
<20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20> <20><> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
<20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
<20><> <20><>
|
|||
|
|
<20> electronic literary 'zine <20>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
*<2A><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>*
|
|||
|
|
<20> <20>Ĵ volume two <20><><EFBFBD> <20>
|
|||
|
|
*<2A><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>*
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
stop plagiarism - let out your soul
|
|||
|
|
Copyright 1995
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<20> <20><>compiled & edited by Twilight<68><74> <20>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Table of Contents <20>
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
1. A Short Dialogue: A Solution To Truth - Chameleon
|
|||
|
|
2. Astrotaught - Slayer@ZON
|
|||
|
|
3. Dark Seed - Gabrielle
|
|||
|
|
4. Desolation. - Twilight
|
|||
|
|
5. Face The Wall. - Slayer@ZON
|
|||
|
|
6. Flash Flood - Twilight
|
|||
|
|
7. Garble - Soul Eater
|
|||
|
|
8. Generation XXX (Casual Sex In The Nineties) - Shadou
|
|||
|
|
9. Holy Waters - Sin
|
|||
|
|
10. Iconoclast - Sin
|
|||
|
|
11. Leap Of Faith - Sin
|
|||
|
|
12. Lie - Maryjane@CWK
|
|||
|
|
13. March Of The Dead - Sin
|
|||
|
|
14. Missing You - Twilight
|
|||
|
|
15. More Than Life - Ben Hoogterp
|
|||
|
|
16. No Way Out - Twilight
|
|||
|
|
17. Pain - Soul Eater
|
|||
|
|
18. Perfect - Sin
|
|||
|
|
19. Phoenix - Drucilla B. Blood
|
|||
|
|
20. Poetry Corner - Radhika Gajjala
|
|||
|
|
21. Questions, Motivations, And Questions Of Motivations - Chameleon
|
|||
|
|
22. Seed - Slayer@ZON
|
|||
|
|
23. Terminal - Sin
|
|||
|
|
24. There Will Come A Time - Angel Alice
|
|||
|
|
25. Truth By Elimination - Chameleon
|
|||
|
|
26. Undo - Slayer@ZON
|
|||
|
|
27. Untitled - Annoying Man
|
|||
|
|
28. Untitled - Dark Goob
|
|||
|
|
29. Untitled - Egypt
|
|||
|
|
30. Untitled - Iyad Ismael
|
|||
|
|
31. Untitled - Sin
|
|||
|
|
32. Untitled - Soul Eater
|
|||
|
|
33. Untitled (2) - Soul Eater
|
|||
|
|
34. What Rap Music Makes Me Write - Soul Eater
|
|||
|
|
35. Why I Cried - Twilight
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Including Quotes From:
|
|||
|
|
M.J. Adler, V. Raiuhes Ahaefvthe, Courtney Love, Abraham Maslow, Mycroft,
|
|||
|
|
Julia Soul, and Sting@243
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
A Short Dialogue: A Solution To Truth
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Chameleon
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: I am a seeker of truth!
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: What is truth?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: I don't know, that is why I am seeking it.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: How do you know what to seek?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: By revealing of what is false, inconsistent, and
|
|||
|
|
contradictory.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: How do you know what is false?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: It proves not to be consistent.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: What is consistent?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: Anything that remains constant given a particular
|
|||
|
|
set of circumstances.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: How do you know what is contradictory?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: Anything that reveals unto itself an inability
|
|||
|
|
to remain consistent by virtue of its nature or
|
|||
|
|
collective elements.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: How do you conclude it is true?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: By giving it the benefit of probability.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: Does the truth necessitate certainty?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: Yes.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: How?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: By eliminating any doubt.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: How can you eliminate doubt?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: By eliminating the question, for questioning
|
|||
|
|
feeds doubt, and fundamentally, nothing is certain.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: So how can you be certain if something is true, or
|
|||
|
|
that the truth is certain?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: I've already answered the former, as for the
|
|||
|
|
latter truth is certainty.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: You've only said that the truth necessitates
|
|||
|
|
certainty and that truth is a benefit of
|
|||
|
|
probability.
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: The truth is without doubt.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: Is there anything without doubt?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: Yes, but only the truth!
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: Can a man live without doubt?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: No.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: What is doubt?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: To doubt is to question, to be uncertain.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: How can one be not uncertain?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: Death.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: The truth is death?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: No, but death needs no truth.
|
|||
|
|
Skeptic: So the answer to the seeking of truth is death?
|
|||
|
|
Wiseman: Not an answer but a solution.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Astrotaught
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Slayer@ZON
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Now hear this
|
|||
|
|
Let there be no misinterpretation
|
|||
|
|
You live among the lonely
|
|||
|
|
You live in a capitalist nation
|
|||
|
|
In the past you've been scarred
|
|||
|
|
By someone
|
|||
|
|
I need the expiration date at the bottom of your card
|
|||
|
|
Prey on the weak and poor
|
|||
|
|
Prey on the weak and poor
|
|||
|
|
This is a capitalist nation
|
|||
|
|
I am an astrowhore
|
|||
|
|
Let it be known
|
|||
|
|
Now hear me out
|
|||
|
|
I see for you wealth untold
|
|||
|
|
Just sit back and listen to me
|
|||
|
|
And watch it all unfold
|
|||
|
|
Let my conscience be your guide
|
|||
|
|
Listen to my words
|
|||
|
|
See the shelter they provide
|
|||
|
|
To lose sight of reality
|
|||
|
|
To have a place to hide
|
|||
|
|
Prey on the weak and poor
|
|||
|
|
Prey on the weak and poor
|
|||
|
|
This is a capitalist nation
|
|||
|
|
I am an astrowhore
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"All through the '80s, it was a goddamn nightmare, hearing things from other
|
|||
|
|
women like 'Well, I can borrow my boyfriend's bass. We can open for my
|
|||
|
|
boyfriend's band. I can't make practice tonight because I have to meet my
|
|||
|
|
boyfriend.' Ugh!" <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Dark Seed
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Gabrielle
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
You've done this to me.
|
|||
|
|
It's your fault.
|
|||
|
|
Taken something innocent and frail
|
|||
|
|
And transformed it into this.
|
|||
|
|
You've planted this seed.
|
|||
|
|
This dark seed of hatred and evil,
|
|||
|
|
Planted deep within the soil of my heart.
|
|||
|
|
And it grows and grows.
|
|||
|
|
Each day, turning my red vibrant heart
|
|||
|
|
Into a poisoned black hollow mass.
|
|||
|
|
Each day, you water it with harsh words,
|
|||
|
|
Nourish it with hatred.
|
|||
|
|
All the while, this dark seed continues to grow, to harden, to strengthen.
|
|||
|
|
Soon, this dark seed will envelop my heart.
|
|||
|
|
And there will be nothing left of the innocence.
|
|||
|
|
Nothing left of the love I once felt.
|
|||
|
|
There will be nothing left--but evil and hatred.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
desolation.
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Twilight
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
sitting in this forlorn pit,
|
|||
|
|
emptiness surrounds me...
|
|||
|
|
the hollow echo of silence
|
|||
|
|
hardly heals this aching soul.
|
|||
|
|
my head buried between my knees
|
|||
|
|
oblivious to the outer realm:
|
|||
|
|
shutting out the world,
|
|||
|
|
shutting out life,
|
|||
|
|
all they do is harm me.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
thin rays of light
|
|||
|
|
dancing over my skin
|
|||
|
|
they provide no comfort
|
|||
|
|
as i huddle, shivering
|
|||
|
|
my arms, around my legs,
|
|||
|
|
try to pull my outer self in.
|
|||
|
|
drawing all into my internal black hole -
|
|||
|
|
my crush<73>d chest...
|
|||
|
|
and a void of nothingness enveloping.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"I lived with someone who said every day that he was going to kill himself,
|
|||
|
|
and it wasn't like I was bored with it by any means. I did what I could
|
|||
|
|
to make sure that didn't happen. And that resulted in a lot of hysteria
|
|||
|
|
on my part. There was a lot of screaming, a lot of yelling. A lot of
|
|||
|
|
kicking the walls, a lot of broken fax machines and telephones. I started
|
|||
|
|
to feel like my purpose in life was noble - to take care of these two human
|
|||
|
|
beings, my husband and child, and make sure that they lived."
|
|||
|
|
<20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Face The Wall.
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Slayer@ZON
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Another sleepless night next to her
|
|||
|
|
All I do is toss and turn
|
|||
|
|
I grip my pillow and face the wall
|
|||
|
|
I dream of her and it seems like real
|
|||
|
|
I lie awake and this is what I feel
|
|||
|
|
I can't build a life on regret
|
|||
|
|
For things not done, words left unsaid
|
|||
|
|
I lay here and think every night
|
|||
|
|
How to break free
|
|||
|
|
How to make it right
|
|||
|
|
She drapes her arm over mine
|
|||
|
|
She runs her hand through my hair
|
|||
|
|
The thought of losing me
|
|||
|
|
I know she couldn't bear
|
|||
|
|
What to do, what to do
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I want to wake up in another place
|
|||
|
|
No one to look at, no one to talk to
|
|||
|
|
Except for you
|
|||
|
|
But for now I grip the pillow and face the wall.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Flash Flood
|
|||
|
|
(to my love, Dave from Alaska)
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Twilight
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
sweet notes floating, drifting...
|
|||
|
|
caressing rolling hills of everlasting green...
|
|||
|
|
the series of melodies seep into my heart,
|
|||
|
|
my soul, my mind, my existing being...
|
|||
|
|
steering itself to the left and right
|
|||
|
|
while lightly skimming each emotion -
|
|||
|
|
each feeling, every thought and dream,
|
|||
|
|
continuously sailing
|
|||
|
|
into my limpid pool, my eternal ocean,
|
|||
|
|
every now and again,
|
|||
|
|
coming to bank upon the shore...
|
|||
|
|
the sanctuary where your aura, your presence
|
|||
|
|
gently rests and resides...
|
|||
|
|
clinging ever-so-softly on the vines
|
|||
|
|
which swing as the images of yesterday
|
|||
|
|
tug upon them.
|
|||
|
|
tears attach themselves delicately
|
|||
|
|
to the grains of life -
|
|||
|
|
the sands of time -
|
|||
|
|
as my heart calls out for you.
|
|||
|
|
visions of laughter, of comraderie...
|
|||
|
|
of fleeing, yet so deeply imbedded passion
|
|||
|
|
underneath moonlit skies and fluffy clouds,
|
|||
|
|
intertwined, our arms,
|
|||
|
|
as down the path of light we flow...
|
|||
|
|
so graceful...and yes, so serene...
|
|||
|
|
forever down this rippling waterway.
|
|||
|
|
these blinded eyes beg to see again
|
|||
|
|
as the sweet breath of music
|
|||
|
|
gently pushes along
|
|||
|
|
the quickening pulse, the pumping heart -
|
|||
|
|
yearning to see you,
|
|||
|
|
it's other half...
|
|||
|
|
by its side, in its reflection,
|
|||
|
|
for all to come - one and complete.
|
|||
|
|
entities singing heavenly interludes to one another
|
|||
|
|
as two interlinked golden bands
|
|||
|
|
chasing life, racing death,
|
|||
|
|
drifting...gracefully...
|
|||
|
|
continuing on
|
|||
|
|
down the river of time
|
|||
|
|
for eternity...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Sex, to him, was incredibly sacred. He found commitment to be an
|
|||
|
|
aphrodisiac." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Garble
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Soul Eater
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I hate the little notecards that fall out of magazines.
|
|||
|
|
I hate the little people that piss me off.
|
|||
|
|
I hate all the commercials trying to change my mind.
|
|||
|
|
I hate all politics that go on around me.
|
|||
|
|
I hate having teachers that are ridiculous.
|
|||
|
|
I hate people that get in the way of learning.
|
|||
|
|
I hate when my mouse doesn't respond.
|
|||
|
|
I hate my parents.
|
|||
|
|
I hate my teachers.
|
|||
|
|
I hate when my parents tell me what to do.
|
|||
|
|
I hate when teachers don't know what they're doing.
|
|||
|
|
I hate not being able to beat Doom.
|
|||
|
|
I hate having to explain who I am.
|
|||
|
|
I hate not knowing what I'll be.
|
|||
|
|
I hate all the questions without answers.
|
|||
|
|
I hate people who think they know what's good for me.
|
|||
|
|
I hate liars.
|
|||
|
|
I hate fakes.
|
|||
|
|
I hate having all these things I hate.
|
|||
|
|
I hate not being able to express myself.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Generation XXX (Casual Sex In The Nineties)
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Shadou
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The back seats of cars,
|
|||
|
|
in darkened city parks,
|
|||
|
|
behind locked doors,
|
|||
|
|
with old dirty whores.
|
|||
|
|
In dingy clubs, grungy bars,
|
|||
|
|
or wide open fields under the stars,
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I wish I may, I wish I might,
|
|||
|
|
Find me a chick, and get laid tonight.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Teen girl beauties with unblemished skin,
|
|||
|
|
Flirt not so innocently with older men.
|
|||
|
|
Pick them up, drive them around.
|
|||
|
|
Take it off and stick it in.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Condom, Oh condom,
|
|||
|
|
keep me safe tonight.
|
|||
|
|
Dieseases today are quite a fright.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
They fuck all night long,
|
|||
|
|
or maybe to just one song,
|
|||
|
|
They play bondage games,
|
|||
|
|
and never tell their names,
|
|||
|
|
Or fall madly in love,
|
|||
|
|
like the soft-hearted dove.
|
|||
|
|
At any measure,
|
|||
|
|
the sex is what they treasure,
|
|||
|
|
coming in droves,
|
|||
|
|
to the caves and coves,
|
|||
|
|
and watering holes,
|
|||
|
|
and meeting places,
|
|||
|
|
come every night,
|
|||
|
|
you'll see the same faces.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
They sit and they drink
|
|||
|
|
occasionally a wink,
|
|||
|
|
Lustful and sly,
|
|||
|
|
inviting a
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Hi there, I was wondering....."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Women will talk,
|
|||
|
|
about bad pickup lines,
|
|||
|
|
Men will think twice,
|
|||
|
|
about committing new crimes.
|
|||
|
|
Of passion and lust,
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Don't cum in my mouth."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Oh, the hideous trust.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Eventually they leave,
|
|||
|
|
paired off once again,
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"My place or yours?"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
and the sex games begin.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
They kiss and suck,
|
|||
|
|
nibble and blow,
|
|||
|
|
fondle and fuck,
|
|||
|
|
cum and go.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Trading phone numbers,
|
|||
|
|
that accidentally get tossed,
|
|||
|
|
trading memories
|
|||
|
|
to be immediately lost.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Out the door and once again alone,
|
|||
|
|
I got myself laid,
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Now it's time to go home.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Virgins are addicts waiting to happen. All they need is one little taste,
|
|||
|
|
one well-placed nibble, and they're hooked. They're sluts to passion upon
|
|||
|
|
their first fix, their first connection." <20> Sting@243
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
holy waters
|
|||
|
|
(dedicated to scd)
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Sin
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
all i can give
|
|||
|
|
is all i can take
|
|||
|
|
all that is left
|
|||
|
|
is this empty ache
|
|||
|
|
sent my soul down in flames
|
|||
|
|
burnt up all that is true
|
|||
|
|
now my evil thirst
|
|||
|
|
drinks up the goodness in you
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
if i can't be redeemed
|
|||
|
|
please let me still choose
|
|||
|
|
the right to do wrong
|
|||
|
|
and do it with you
|
|||
|
|
gonna hammer the nail
|
|||
|
|
gonna drive it right thru
|
|||
|
|
gonna give you my sin
|
|||
|
|
again and again
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
my love is blind
|
|||
|
|
but my guilt can see
|
|||
|
|
that these flames that surround me
|
|||
|
|
were not your destiny
|
|||
|
|
but my final prayer
|
|||
|
|
my only chance to be free
|
|||
|
|
is thru the burning seas of your soul
|
|||
|
|
you've parted for me
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
iconoclast
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Sin
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
you castrate yourself
|
|||
|
|
with tribal fertility imagery
|
|||
|
|
and weekly sacrificial rites
|
|||
|
|
to appease your god
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
you put your brain on a shelf
|
|||
|
|
you abdicate your responsibility
|
|||
|
|
you abuse what little reasoning you have
|
|||
|
|
as an expression of your faith
|
|||
|
|
in what isn't
|
|||
|
|
and never will be
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
you spread your brain wide
|
|||
|
|
you let yourself get fucked in the head
|
|||
|
|
but he loves you
|
|||
|
|
so that makes it ok, right?
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
you beat yourself
|
|||
|
|
and others off
|
|||
|
|
into pacifistic submission
|
|||
|
|
to the will of an all-powerful god
|
|||
|
|
that your primitive ancestors created
|
|||
|
|
out of wood and stone
|
|||
|
|
and then watch with your god
|
|||
|
|
as the crops still fail
|
|||
|
|
and bad things still happen
|
|||
|
|
to good people.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
you deceive yourself
|
|||
|
|
with divine words of wisdom
|
|||
|
|
written in greek on crumbling parchment
|
|||
|
|
that wise men with secret prayer decoder rings
|
|||
|
|
and secret motives
|
|||
|
|
decipher
|
|||
|
|
into crude dogmas and cheap platitudes
|
|||
|
|
dressed in stuffy jargon
|
|||
|
|
and expensive three-piece suits.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
let's see. how does your ludicrous chant go?
|
|||
|
|
say you're sorry for your bad breath
|
|||
|
|
ask fred to come into your kitchen
|
|||
|
|
be baptized in ketchup and olive oil
|
|||
|
|
then you'll go to wal-mart and live happily ever after
|
|||
|
|
now send me money.
|
|||
|
|
that's it, give or take a word or two.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
your church is a social club
|
|||
|
|
your religion is amway
|
|||
|
|
and your god
|
|||
|
|
is a god of fools.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"I had this theory that the persona people project onstage is the exact
|
|||
|
|
opposite of who they are. In Kurt's case, it was 'Fuck you!' And
|
|||
|
|
ultimately, his largest problem in life was *not* being about to say,
|
|||
|
|
'Fuck you.' 'Fuck you, Courtney. Fuck you, Gold Mountain. Fuck you,
|
|||
|
|
Geffen - and I'm gonna do what I want.' *My* thing is 'Don't fuck with
|
|||
|
|
me.' In real life, *real* real life, I'm supersensitive. But people tend
|
|||
|
|
to think I'm not vulnerable because I don't act vulnerable."
|
|||
|
|
<20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
leap of faith
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Sin
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
thru your clouded skies that blinded me
|
|||
|
|
i lifted up my eyes to see
|
|||
|
|
i tried to stand for truth and dignity
|
|||
|
|
and trust in the sincerity:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
of these empty dreams you promised me.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
you drove me to the edge of sanity
|
|||
|
|
with nothing left inside of me
|
|||
|
|
you tried to get the best of me
|
|||
|
|
it is the worst obscenity:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
to take another part of me.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
above a slave world of hypocrisy
|
|||
|
|
i'm gonna jump i'm gonna be
|
|||
|
|
i won't stoop or crawl on bended knee
|
|||
|
|
i'm gonna fly above it all:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
i'm gonna always be just me.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
this euphemistic "flexibility"
|
|||
|
|
this capitulation to "society"
|
|||
|
|
well i've always believed in honesty
|
|||
|
|
and now that i've clawed my way up i can see:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
with broken wings you're never free.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
you took the very best of me
|
|||
|
|
no way to even up this score
|
|||
|
|
nothing left but one more thing
|
|||
|
|
here's the bloody rest of me:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
- don't find the time to cry for me
|
|||
|
|
don't find the words to speak for me
|
|||
|
|
don't find the nerve to feel for me
|
|||
|
|
just get the fuck away from me-
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
leap
|
|||
|
|
of
|
|||
|
|
f lying thru the clouds - they're all around
|
|||
|
|
a nd everything is rushing up - the world is falling down
|
|||
|
|
i 'll never feel the pain - i'll never hear the sound
|
|||
|
|
t hundering like a bolt of pure lucidity
|
|||
|
|
h eadfirst into a dawning sky of blue eternity
|
|||
|
|
.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Lie
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Maryjane@CWK
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
i love your lies
|
|||
|
|
oh they are so beautiful
|
|||
|
|
vibrant stories
|
|||
|
|
ancient security
|
|||
|
|
their warmth wraps around me
|
|||
|
|
hold me closer
|
|||
|
|
whisper in my ear
|
|||
|
|
they dance around the room
|
|||
|
|
i love your lies
|
|||
|
|
oh the way i can see through them
|
|||
|
|
plastic thoughts
|
|||
|
|
rubber soul
|
|||
|
|
dont let go
|
|||
|
|
your gentle touch is soothing
|
|||
|
|
let me kiss you
|
|||
|
|
hold my lips and laugh
|
|||
|
|
i love your lies
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"I may lie a lot, but never in my lyrics." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
march of the dead
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Sin
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
we do not cry
|
|||
|
|
but we have forgotten how to laugh
|
|||
|
|
we do not kneel
|
|||
|
|
but we have no strength to stand
|
|||
|
|
we do not surrender
|
|||
|
|
but we have lost the war of life
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
do you hear the marching drums?
|
|||
|
|
what are we to do?
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
across an endless battlefield of gray
|
|||
|
|
faceless names of pain arrayed
|
|||
|
|
lovers, sisters, brothers
|
|||
|
|
strangers to each other
|
|||
|
|
and strangers to ourselves
|
|||
|
|
pale shadows reaching out to one another
|
|||
|
|
mere shadows of our former selves
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
do you hear the marching drums?
|
|||
|
|
what are we to do?
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
across the river of forget...
|
|||
|
|
is it there the answer lies
|
|||
|
|
out of the ticking hands of time
|
|||
|
|
perhaps there deliverance lies
|
|||
|
|
beyond a funeral vault of hellish skies
|
|||
|
|
i hope and pray a heaven lies
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
do you hear the marching drums?
|
|||
|
|
what are we to do?
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
what is to come of us
|
|||
|
|
tish, black star, and goob
|
|||
|
|
when our death wishes have come true
|
|||
|
|
when there is nothing left
|
|||
|
|
when there is nothing more to do
|
|||
|
|
and what will make it right
|
|||
|
|
when everything is wrong
|
|||
|
|
and where are we to go
|
|||
|
|
when everything is gone
|
|||
|
|
what are we to say
|
|||
|
|
when everything is said
|
|||
|
|
where will we find ourselves
|
|||
|
|
when it is by the lost that we are led
|
|||
|
|
and we move to the silent heartbeat
|
|||
|
|
of the drums of the marching dead?
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Missing You
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Twilight
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
It took six years...
|
|||
|
|
Six long years after she left me...
|
|||
|
|
Part of me... closed itself off -
|
|||
|
|
Shut out and hidden to the outer world,
|
|||
|
|
I thought it to be lost forever;
|
|||
|
|
Thought she had stolen it from me.
|
|||
|
|
But then, *you* came along -
|
|||
|
|
unexpectedly.
|
|||
|
|
I was made whole again...
|
|||
|
|
The missing puzzle piece,
|
|||
|
|
you filled that part of me up
|
|||
|
|
And set me free.
|
|||
|
|
Riding in with your cascading curls
|
|||
|
|
I finally felt fulfilled...
|
|||
|
|
But as soon as you left my presence -
|
|||
|
|
consumed by the night,
|
|||
|
|
the clouds rolled in ominously
|
|||
|
|
and covered half my joy,
|
|||
|
|
half my sunshine -
|
|||
|
|
in total obscurity.
|
|||
|
|
But...together...
|
|||
|
|
Together, life was made
|
|||
|
|
a fun game
|
|||
|
|
Holding hands, side by side
|
|||
|
|
Two bitches, joined at the hip -
|
|||
|
|
Laughing at the world
|
|||
|
|
and its complete absurdity.
|
|||
|
|
The love, the music,
|
|||
|
|
The emotion, the pain...
|
|||
|
|
The games everyone took so seriously...
|
|||
|
|
Dammit, why did I meet you
|
|||
|
|
so late in life...
|
|||
|
|
As soon as we've grown attached,
|
|||
|
|
I'm forced to go -
|
|||
|
|
my separate way.
|
|||
|
|
And I'll live on, not knowing
|
|||
|
|
when I'll see you next -
|
|||
|
|
when your voice will brighten my day
|
|||
|
|
And when my inner cell
|
|||
|
|
will be unlocked once more
|
|||
|
|
underneath the violet, smoking skies...
|
|||
|
|
Who is going to comfort you
|
|||
|
|
Who is going to listen to me whine
|
|||
|
|
How are those we ridicule
|
|||
|
|
going to keep on living...
|
|||
|
|
without us...?
|
|||
|
|
*Twelve year-old SH heavy metal chicks*
|
|||
|
|
Damn you, girl with the beautiful name,
|
|||
|
|
I'm going to miss you...
|
|||
|
|
And *sigh*
|
|||
|
|
I'm going to miss that part of me...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
More Than Life
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Ben Hoogterp
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"I love you more than life itself!" she said.
|
|||
|
|
And though I'm sure she spoke to me in truth,
|
|||
|
|
I'll always have to wonder what it meant,
|
|||
|
|
For in that very night that she had spoke,
|
|||
|
|
She went and put a bullet in her head.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"I used to be able to talk to Kurt more, wherever he is. But now he's gone.
|
|||
|
|
I used to feel like mourning him was really selfish because it would make
|
|||
|
|
him feel guilty. And the best thing to do was to pray for him and show him
|
|||
|
|
joy, so he could feel the vibration of joy. But now I know he's dissipated,
|
|||
|
|
and he's gone. There's not anything left. Not even to talk to."
|
|||
|
|
<20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
No Way Out
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Twilight
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Knock, knock, knocking...
|
|||
|
|
Upon opening each door,
|
|||
|
|
It never fails...
|
|||
|
|
It happens to be the wrong one.
|
|||
|
|
Constantly erring,
|
|||
|
|
Constantly making mistakes,
|
|||
|
|
No matter which path I pick -
|
|||
|
|
No matter which gateway I choose -
|
|||
|
|
Each destination points downward,
|
|||
|
|
Each drop, a pit of hell,
|
|||
|
|
Each retried attempt ends in misery,
|
|||
|
|
and every try eventually fails.
|
|||
|
|
Some day the sun will stop shining;
|
|||
|
|
Every day the sun sets.
|
|||
|
|
Like my own trials
|
|||
|
|
of many dawns and dusks,
|
|||
|
|
Inevitable is that repetitive darkness...
|
|||
|
|
Wandering forever in this maze of doors,
|
|||
|
|
I will never find the true way out...
|
|||
|
|
Doomed to have each new hope -
|
|||
|
|
crushed... to pieces,
|
|||
|
|
I am chained in the links of despair,
|
|||
|
|
Locked within the cage of self-ruin...
|
|||
|
|
I will never get out,
|
|||
|
|
I will never escape...
|
|||
|
|
I will never fly free.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Sometimes I wish I could hop into a time machine and go back to my younger
|
|||
|
|
self and say, 'Hey, man, it's all right; you'll be doing fine, and it'll
|
|||
|
|
happen sooner than you know it.' I was so scared then, but I am now who I
|
|||
|
|
set out to be then... It's good to be your own king..." <20> Mycroft
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Pain
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Soul Eater
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
putting yourself in pain is rather easily achieved. enjoying this
|
|||
|
|
sensation is an altogether different reality. i'll let you figure that
|
|||
|
|
one out. there is physical pain and emotional pain. i don't think
|
|||
|
|
there is mental pain, because through my entire somewhat lax and
|
|||
|
|
regrettable life, i've never suffered mental pangs from overthinking.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
physical pain has varying degrees of anguish. some people can control
|
|||
|
|
and maintain their very nerves that react to this type of stimuli. I
|
|||
|
|
think twisting your ankle is much different than jumping off a building
|
|||
|
|
and twisting your ankle. fear mixed with pain is rather harsh, one
|
|||
|
|
thing that usually is not a feeling well thought upon. i'm rambling on,
|
|||
|
|
so i'll get more on track. do not be afraid to do something because you
|
|||
|
|
fear the sensation of pain. no matter how bad the pain is, it actually
|
|||
|
|
goes away rather quickly. the first couple of seconds of pain is
|
|||
|
|
actually overblown by your own mental capabilities. if you just stop
|
|||
|
|
and try to breathe normally, the sensation regresses quite
|
|||
|
|
substantially. controlling the effects of pain is another thing.
|
|||
|
|
self-control is a big part of it. i can endure extreme pain, but i usually
|
|||
|
|
break out into a cold sweat. i just realized there is no plot
|
|||
|
|
whatsoever or purpose to this entire message. i'll move on now.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
emotional pain i think is worse than the harshes of physical pain. it
|
|||
|
|
sticks in your mind, haunting every living second of your existence.
|
|||
|
|
you make an effort not to think about it, but it's always there, right in
|
|||
|
|
focus. mental anguish at its worse - mix in a little guilt, a nice
|
|||
|
|
heaping helping of depression and loneliness - you've got neural torture
|
|||
|
|
to last you the rest of your life. somehow, this is the situation i've
|
|||
|
|
ended up in. over the past week, i've figured out my entire family
|
|||
|
|
should seek psychiatric help because we're all dysfunctional. i figured
|
|||
|
|
out i have no idea where my life is leading, i sometimes forget my own
|
|||
|
|
name because i'm tottally confused. i'm going insane and to top it all
|
|||
|
|
off, i'm typing under two blankets so my parents don't hear me typing.
|
|||
|
|
i'm losing it. i'm losing it. what the hell is this message supposed
|
|||
|
|
to be about? i don't know anymore. mental anguish, i've got it.
|
|||
|
|
physical anguish, easily obtained. definitely take the latter before
|
|||
|
|
even considering tasting the prior.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"If you're never scared nor embarrassed nor hurt, it means you never take any
|
|||
|
|
chances." <20> Julia Soul
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
perfect
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Sin
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
perfect little job
|
|||
|
|
wrapped in cold electric black
|
|||
|
|
tied with little colored wires
|
|||
|
|
that could never be traced back
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
perfect little charge
|
|||
|
|
packed inside a pipe of lead
|
|||
|
|
as troubled as the dreams
|
|||
|
|
trapped inside a screaming head
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
perfect little touch
|
|||
|
|
for the hurt held deep inside
|
|||
|
|
blooming like a flower of flame
|
|||
|
|
for the burnt out life inside
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
perfect little hole
|
|||
|
|
for a soul betrayed by fate
|
|||
|
|
for a perfect little boom
|
|||
|
|
from a plastic explosive hate
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
perfect little twist
|
|||
|
|
of a key in the ignition
|
|||
|
|
for a lifeless little spark
|
|||
|
|
charred beyond all recognition
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
perfect gift of pain
|
|||
|
|
on a burning road of dreams
|
|||
|
|
nothing to show
|
|||
|
|
and
|
|||
|
|
no evidence to remain
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
just a twisted hulk of metal
|
|||
|
|
and a
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
perfect little stain...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Phoenix
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Drucilla B. Blood
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The anxious whisper that
|
|||
|
|
is your voice becomes a cat call
|
|||
|
|
Wooing me
|
|||
|
|
Spiraling downward
|
|||
|
|
Into you
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I want to write our names together
|
|||
|
|
in the snow
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Or on the mailbox
|
|||
|
|
of a small hacienda
|
|||
|
|
in Phoenix
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Both of us barefoot
|
|||
|
|
and pregnant
|
|||
|
|
with youth
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
To give you candy cane kisses
|
|||
|
|
and fetch the dawn in
|
|||
|
|
skirted bliss
|
|||
|
|
(how glad I am)
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Snaking through shadows
|
|||
|
|
Something on fire
|
|||
|
|
draws me nearer and nearer
|
|||
|
|
We burn there
|
|||
|
|
together.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Some of Kurt's ashes will be buried in a public cemetery, some are
|
|||
|
|
underneath the Buddha in my bedroom, some are in the altar in the living
|
|||
|
|
room, and some more of Kurt - not a great amount - is in India, being made
|
|||
|
|
into a stupa. For the stupa, you get to pick a place and a deity. The
|
|||
|
|
place I picked is Nirvana, and the deity is a minor god. He's a small man,
|
|||
|
|
and he has this really large diamond that he's holding, and the diamond is
|
|||
|
|
so big that it keeps knocking him over. The diamond is far too heavy a
|
|||
|
|
burden for him." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Poetry Corner
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Radhika Gajjala
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
At the book store
|
|||
|
|
browsing
|
|||
|
|
poetry corner
|
|||
|
|
Indulge, Bask
|
|||
|
|
words float, they
|
|||
|
|
swim, they dance and
|
|||
|
|
sink
|
|||
|
|
deep into my
|
|||
|
|
Being
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Great Literature?
|
|||
|
|
what do i
|
|||
|
|
Know?
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
i smell a Body standing
|
|||
|
|
nearby
|
|||
|
|
Browsing too perhaps.
|
|||
|
|
am SelfConscious
|
|||
|
|
Panic
|
|||
|
|
suppose i know him
|
|||
|
|
her
|
|||
|
|
or....
|
|||
|
|
Am known?
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
i sigh with relief as the
|
|||
|
|
Brief moment of the
|
|||
|
|
other's presence passes.
|
|||
|
|
no more physical.
|
|||
|
|
As the body looks to
|
|||
|
|
other shelves for
|
|||
|
|
illumination (?)
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Imagined conversation
|
|||
|
|
then intrudes
|
|||
|
|
what if -
|
|||
|
|
"Do you know the
|
|||
|
|
Latest
|
|||
|
|
By...."
|
|||
|
|
"He's the Greatest"
|
|||
|
|
but why?
|
|||
|
|
"She writes with
|
|||
|
|
Skill
|
|||
|
|
such Metaphors,
|
|||
|
|
Oxymorons too..."
|
|||
|
|
"Remember those words ...."
|
|||
|
|
[blah blah blah]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
no i don't.
|
|||
|
|
poetry i don't
|
|||
|
|
quote
|
|||
|
|
to show my
|
|||
|
|
Knowledge
|
|||
|
|
of words or
|
|||
|
|
Skill
|
|||
|
|
i care only for it
|
|||
|
|
If it makes me
|
|||
|
|
Feel.
|
|||
|
|
The feel is all i have
|
|||
|
|
left
|
|||
|
|
when the words evaporate
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
a feel i wish would
|
|||
|
|
flow
|
|||
|
|
from the depth of my...
|
|||
|
|
soul (?)
|
|||
|
|
through the tips of my
|
|||
|
|
fingers when i
|
|||
|
|
write
|
|||
|
|
i wish.
|
|||
|
|
I wish.
|
|||
|
|
To Feel and
|
|||
|
|
make you feel.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
if only i could.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he
|
|||
|
|
is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be."
|
|||
|
|
<20> Abraham Maslow
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Questions, Motivations, And Questions Of Motivations
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Chameleon
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
My life has no meaning. I only strive to exist so that my fears of
|
|||
|
|
nothingness may be at peace. I seek understanding of why I should continue
|
|||
|
|
to adapt to the laws and traditions of society's functions. I question the
|
|||
|
|
certainty of many, those who have focused their lives on the world that is
|
|||
|
|
encompassing them versus the contemplation of their inevitable death.
|
|||
|
|
Mankind functions to provide not meaning but the escape from
|
|||
|
|
contemplating his meaning, that may not exist at all. When one is certain
|
|||
|
|
of particulars, how can one question the utter realism or meaning of such
|
|||
|
|
particulars? Has man escaped the quest for truth, for with it comes a
|
|||
|
|
stifling depression led by a state of utter confusion? Has man deluded
|
|||
|
|
himself to the point that he must participate in this story known as life
|
|||
|
|
without questioning its primary reasons? How can we continue to function
|
|||
|
|
without purpose? Must faith and beliefs always substitute for the underlying
|
|||
|
|
confusion of our daily lives? What drives men to the belief in certain
|
|||
|
|
particulars? Why focus on certain elements of the Universe when the meaning
|
|||
|
|
of the Universe itself is not understood? How can I continue to exist without
|
|||
|
|
understanding why? Why must an inward fear of inevitable death and
|
|||
|
|
meaninglessness be my motivator versus a will toward accomplishment? Why I am
|
|||
|
|
so unique as to endlessly question others' motives? Why must they continue a
|
|||
|
|
road to death without stopping and wondering why?
|
|||
|
|
I am the center of all things; everything is for me; all things serve me.
|
|||
|
|
All that is important is how I am, who I am, what I am, and essentially why I
|
|||
|
|
am. The Universe is here for me; it exists to be the slave of my wits and
|
|||
|
|
intelligence.
|
|||
|
|
Reality is what I perceive; reality is in my mind; without me, reality
|
|||
|
|
would not be. The Universe is possibly infinite in nature yet it is finite
|
|||
|
|
in my head. Supposing it is infinite, all objects are relative to the
|
|||
|
|
subjective center; therefore I am the center! Reality is a mere reflection
|
|||
|
|
of my perceptions and delusions. How must I find what reality is when reality
|
|||
|
|
itself has no measurable basis? Am I reality?
|
|||
|
|
I seek no pleasure, I seek no love, I seek no power - for all these
|
|||
|
|
things are mere diversions from a hopeless existence soon to become
|
|||
|
|
nothingness. My hopes are from fears of an existence without understanding.
|
|||
|
|
I fear my loss of self, for without me, reality is nothing, and I am nothing.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Seed
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Slayer@ZON
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Inside here it's warm and cozy
|
|||
|
|
No one comes around to bother me
|
|||
|
|
They get closer every day
|
|||
|
|
I can hear the voices
|
|||
|
|
Can't make out what they say
|
|||
|
|
When the darkness falls the voices fade
|
|||
|
|
Silence
|
|||
|
|
Sweet, divine
|
|||
|
|
No more voices
|
|||
|
|
Only mine
|
|||
|
|
I live in a grape
|
|||
|
|
I hang from a vine
|
|||
|
|
My only fear is being turned into wine.
|
|||
|
|
It's growing colder every night
|
|||
|
|
I'm getting bigger, tender, and ripe
|
|||
|
|
But I fear something
|
|||
|
|
Is not right
|
|||
|
|
They're here for me now
|
|||
|
|
They're in my sight
|
|||
|
|
I have no weapons or tools to fight
|
|||
|
|
Silence
|
|||
|
|
Sweet, divine
|
|||
|
|
No more voices
|
|||
|
|
Not even mine
|
|||
|
|
Killed and raped
|
|||
|
|
Torn from the vine
|
|||
|
|
My soul is now suspended in time
|
|||
|
|
Fermenting slowly, in a bottle of wine.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
terminal
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Sin
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
somebody turn off this head
|
|||
|
|
somebody turn off this pain
|
|||
|
|
somebody turn off the machine
|
|||
|
|
that plugs me into this brain
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
some body
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
somebody kill off this hurt
|
|||
|
|
somebody shut down this rage
|
|||
|
|
somebody tell me my crime
|
|||
|
|
that keeps me locked in this cage
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
some body
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
somebody let me go free
|
|||
|
|
somebody give me the key
|
|||
|
|
to all the heavenly things
|
|||
|
|
that never opened up here for me
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
some body
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
somebody make it all stop
|
|||
|
|
somebody make it all bleed
|
|||
|
|
somebody burn it all up
|
|||
|
|
so it won't have a carcass to breed
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
some body
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
somebody bury it deep
|
|||
|
|
somebody put it to sleep
|
|||
|
|
somebody nail down the lid
|
|||
|
|
on these dead hopes that i keep
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
please somebody...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"When we decided we were in love at the Beverly Garland Hotel, we found this
|
|||
|
|
dead bird. Took out three feathers. And he said, 'This is for you, this is
|
|||
|
|
for me, and this is for the baby we're gonna have.' And he took one of the
|
|||
|
|
feathers away." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
There Will Come A Time
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Angel Alice
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Today you strike me,
|
|||
|
|
I falter and fall,
|
|||
|
|
Prostate at your feet.
|
|||
|
|
Rage eradicating tears of pain before they form.
|
|||
|
|
I turn my head, and you do not see my face,
|
|||
|
|
Twisted into lines of hatred that any fool could read.
|
|||
|
|
When I turn back, it is blank, and does not betray me.
|
|||
|
|
I tilt my chin upward, oh! ever so slightly!
|
|||
|
|
My proud black eyes stare into yours, unblinking, unfrightened.
|
|||
|
|
We both know who is stronger, inside.
|
|||
|
|
(for there is nothing stronger than anger, except what keeps it in;
|
|||
|
|
that's stronger)
|
|||
|
|
And this knowledge drives you mad; insane!
|
|||
|
|
Yes, your face is distorted with this hatred, hatred for yourself,
|
|||
|
|
Although yu mistakenly assume it is I you are beating.
|
|||
|
|
The bruises will fade away... they will not leave a scar.
|
|||
|
|
But the memories will always be there.
|
|||
|
|
Hidden away in that pretty picture window inside my head.
|
|||
|
|
You will have forgotten by morning, won't you?
|
|||
|
|
It doesn't matter.
|
|||
|
|
Because there will come a time when you will fall at MY feet.
|
|||
|
|
When you will look at me with respect, instead of hatred.
|
|||
|
|
This will not be tomorrow, no.
|
|||
|
|
Tomorrow, you will strike again,
|
|||
|
|
And I will look at you and laugh silently at you, you weak fool!
|
|||
|
|
Biding my time, saving my strength.
|
|||
|
|
Until the time when I am strong enough to challenge you.
|
|||
|
|
And then you will fear me, because it is then that you know I will
|
|||
|
|
triumph.
|
|||
|
|
And you will know that it was you that was weak and I that was strong.
|
|||
|
|
Yes, there will come a time.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Truth By Elimination
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Chameleon
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The ultimate and technical solution to any problem is elimination.
|
|||
|
|
Elimination is the means to truth. All that is false is subjective, and all
|
|||
|
|
that is subjective is uncertain. A proposed problem implies the need to
|
|||
|
|
problem-solve to have a desirable answer or result. A problem is an opinion
|
|||
|
|
or value judgment of dissatisfaction, direct or indirect to the source of
|
|||
|
|
question; thus, all problems are subjective. The elimination of the problem
|
|||
|
|
or source of question absolves the necessity of an objective answer; by
|
|||
|
|
problem-solving, that can only be subjectively satisfied. The desire for an
|
|||
|
|
objective answer is necessary for the fulfillment or resolution of a deprived
|
|||
|
|
state. The self's continuous state of deprivation is primarily from a
|
|||
|
|
phenomenal (a subjective perception of) existence seeking to fulfill the
|
|||
|
|
deprivation of the uncertainty of being (an objective perception of existence).
|
|||
|
|
This deprivation is infinite because the substitutes for the unobtainable state
|
|||
|
|
of being are subjective states of satisfaction. These subjective states are
|
|||
|
|
only temporary, for one becomes tolerant, or the initial satisfaction
|
|||
|
|
diminishes so one has a desire for more substitutes. Most substitutes tend to
|
|||
|
|
branch off others; this causes the mind to appear like a tree of extending
|
|||
|
|
branches of thoughts each diffusing from the other until all thoughts are
|
|||
|
|
diluted into a mass of mindless behavioral reactions and reflexes.
|
|||
|
|
The two solutions to deprivation are elimination and substitution. To
|
|||
|
|
eliminate deprivation, one may eliminate the element, what is deprived, or
|
|||
|
|
eliminate the self. Uncommonly is suicide the valued solution, so one
|
|||
|
|
begins to eliminate deprivation of the element by substitution or elimination
|
|||
|
|
of the element itself. Often the valued and perhaps only plausible solution
|
|||
|
|
is substitution (the elements of substitution or the primary deprivation(s)
|
|||
|
|
may be infinite in replication), thus the individual progressively seeks
|
|||
|
|
different substitutions for the original deprivation(s). If an awareness of
|
|||
|
|
substitution has taken precedence, one may substitute further along an
|
|||
|
|
infinite cycle, become compulsive in the desire of eliminating the element
|
|||
|
|
itself, or eliminate the self.
|
|||
|
|
The greatest substitute for uncertainty is the claim of having the, or
|
|||
|
|
means to, truth. By doing so, one has undergone a series of believing in
|
|||
|
|
particular absolutes. Since the questioning of such absolutes leads to the
|
|||
|
|
uncertainty of the proclaimed truth, the continual enforcement of faith or
|
|||
|
|
ignorance is necessary for the constant delusional state of certainty. This
|
|||
|
|
enforcement is necessary so that the perceived absolutes may withstand
|
|||
|
|
against relativistic and existential philosophies. An example of this
|
|||
|
|
situation is Christianity. In this case, we have the necessity of
|
|||
|
|
irrevocable beliefs in a particularly conceived God, and the enforcing of
|
|||
|
|
such beliefs, with the contrasting evils and wrongs of a morality accompanied
|
|||
|
|
with the fear of eternally drastic consequences, is dependent upon one's
|
|||
|
|
choice of thought and action. In this context, faith excuses ignorance and
|
|||
|
|
faith is a primacy to substitution. In summation, the absolute belief in any
|
|||
|
|
particulars requires the denial of the possibility of other particulars being
|
|||
|
|
true. This may cause the believer of such particulars to appear biased and
|
|||
|
|
narrow-minded.
|
|||
|
|
The ultimate solution to deprivation is elimination of the self. The
|
|||
|
|
primary state of the self is deprivation. To eliminate this fundamental and
|
|||
|
|
possibly incurable state, one must remove the state itself. Since it is
|
|||
|
|
inherent in human beings to be primarily motivated by the state of
|
|||
|
|
deprivation, the solution is in eliminating the deprivation by eliminating
|
|||
|
|
its cause; the cause is the existence of the self and its naturally deprived
|
|||
|
|
state of not being. The only true solution is elimination of the self, for
|
|||
|
|
the self is a deprived state.
|
|||
|
|
In conclusion, though this entire concept is uncertain, the only truth
|
|||
|
|
is the phenomenal truth of uncertainty. This may seem paradoxal, but the
|
|||
|
|
absolute, objective, truth may be hidden or nonexistent, which is not certain.
|
|||
|
|
The outcome of accepting such a paradox, the acceptance being a substitution,
|
|||
|
|
is a state of utter confusion followed by a relentlessly haunting depression.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"It is unfortunate that we do not feel pangs of ignorance as we feel pangs of
|
|||
|
|
hunger." <20> M.J. Adler
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Undo
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Slayer@ZON
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I am no longer inspired
|
|||
|
|
My head is worn
|
|||
|
|
My body is tired
|
|||
|
|
My spirit is torn
|
|||
|
|
I keep searching for an answer
|
|||
|
|
I'm on the verge of lunacy
|
|||
|
|
The answer is not anywhere
|
|||
|
|
That ears will hear
|
|||
|
|
Or eyes can see
|
|||
|
|
I have no reason why
|
|||
|
|
This secret stays locked inside of me.
|
|||
|
|
This trail has brought me to a fork in the road
|
|||
|
|
Only two ways to move
|
|||
|
|
Which way will I go?
|
|||
|
|
Will I be a man
|
|||
|
|
And take the pain
|
|||
|
|
Or will I go left
|
|||
|
|
And run away
|
|||
|
|
For now I'll just drift
|
|||
|
|
To the right for awhile
|
|||
|
|
Until I find the key
|
|||
|
|
I'll move through time
|
|||
|
|
Forward
|
|||
|
|
I'm starting to believe
|
|||
|
|
This love is blind
|
|||
|
|
I'll move through time
|
|||
|
|
Transcendentalize
|
|||
|
|
Life is a journey
|
|||
|
|
You cannot rewind.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Untitled
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Annoying Man
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The resplundant black darkness of nothingness inundates into my
|
|||
|
|
cadaverous, limpid soul.
|
|||
|
|
I am
|
|||
|
|
Drowning.
|
|||
|
|
I am nothing.
|
|||
|
|
The nothing
|
|||
|
|
is me. And I am everything. And everything
|
|||
|
|
Is nothing.
|
|||
|
|
My clairvoyance fails me as
|
|||
|
|
this pure, opaque darkness clouds my vision.
|
|||
|
|
I am a shipwreck on the empty sea, abandoned by the intrepid sailors
|
|||
|
|
who I mesmerized by my seductive big sails.
|
|||
|
|
I am tossed by the raging storms of desire that consume my innocent
|
|||
|
|
form.
|
|||
|
|
I burn. OH yes. I burn.
|
|||
|
|
Break me, fuck me, kill me, hate me, Destroy Me.
|
|||
|
|
But...I am already destroyed.
|
|||
|
|
Ashes to ashes, dust
|
|||
|
|
To dust.
|
|||
|
|
I will remunerate the Lord of the Sea, who broke me
|
|||
|
|
And put me on the Cross of Life.
|
|||
|
|
Who will ameliorate this strife of darkness?
|
|||
|
|
Are you the one? Or will you exacerbate my bleeding, fucking empty soul.
|
|||
|
|
This clandestine murder of my retentive inner child within
|
|||
|
|
Me makes me cry.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Untitled
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Dark Goob
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
i lost myself in mental feign
|
|||
|
|
but i'm found again
|
|||
|
|
i often trip and fall
|
|||
|
|
on holes myself i make
|
|||
|
|
i keep holding on the shovel
|
|||
|
|
that is my mistake
|
|||
|
|
to rise above the mental low
|
|||
|
|
as easy as it is to bear
|
|||
|
|
gets clouded by my vision
|
|||
|
|
clouds that aren't really there
|
|||
|
|
need to find an anchor
|
|||
|
|
for the drifting boat
|
|||
|
|
can't seal the leaking hull
|
|||
|
|
can't stay on course and afloat
|
|||
|
|
the anchor line broke a while ago
|
|||
|
|
but only now i see the slack
|
|||
|
|
better to do something about it now
|
|||
|
|
than be forced to swim back
|
|||
|
|
but i have a sinking feeling
|
|||
|
|
on the wrong course
|
|||
|
|
can't live up to what i say
|
|||
|
|
and it only will get worse
|
|||
|
|
off i go again
|
|||
|
|
off to pump the leaky hold
|
|||
|
|
but one man is not a crew
|
|||
|
|
at least that's what i've been told
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Untitled
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Egypt
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Mother
|
|||
|
|
As the days go by
|
|||
|
|
it seems that being one's daughter
|
|||
|
|
is not enough
|
|||
|
|
to guarantee love.
|
|||
|
|
Nor is being one's mother.
|
|||
|
|
We seem
|
|||
|
|
more and more to be strangers
|
|||
|
|
misreading each others' intent
|
|||
|
|
and trusting less and less.
|
|||
|
|
Conflicts go unresolved
|
|||
|
|
and bad memories creep into dreams
|
|||
|
|
like spiders spinning webs
|
|||
|
|
to trap our emotions
|
|||
|
|
and hold them still.
|
|||
|
|
They dangle there waiting
|
|||
|
|
for the next hurtful words
|
|||
|
|
to flutter and be snared.
|
|||
|
|
Words to be trussed, wrapped
|
|||
|
|
and saved for trophies -
|
|||
|
|
lest they be needed again.
|
|||
|
|
I have no magic spell
|
|||
|
|
to speak them away -
|
|||
|
|
no potion to make them sleep.
|
|||
|
|
No mighty sword to sever their webs
|
|||
|
|
nor sacred rings to dispell them.
|
|||
|
|
I can only feel to save our hearts
|
|||
|
|
a distance we should keep.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Untitled
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Iyad Ismael
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Sometimes lost in solitary thought,
|
|||
|
|
Of the purest levels of sensitivity,
|
|||
|
|
I think such thoughts that move my heart
|
|||
|
|
With the Joy of feeling and of Memory.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I then think of writing those down
|
|||
|
|
To remember them later, in an attempt
|
|||
|
|
To make the memories last longer,
|
|||
|
|
To try to live the Joy again.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
But then I hear them speak to me -
|
|||
|
|
Have pity upon us, Sir, be kind!
|
|||
|
|
Do not confine us to a limited space,
|
|||
|
|
As your own mortal mind.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Let us fly free, that you may still,
|
|||
|
|
Seek us, and raise us high -
|
|||
|
|
For only then will you find Joy
|
|||
|
|
In memories that make you cry.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Untitled
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Sin
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Logic looks like the devil, but has earned his science degree
|
|||
|
|
thinks it's fascinating, he's just a heartless half-breed
|
|||
|
|
Faith and Hope the stupid sluts, never a clue that something's wrong
|
|||
|
|
always dancing to and singing, that stupid do-me do-me song
|
|||
|
|
Hate the starving glutton, fills but never satisfies
|
|||
|
|
eaten right out of house and home, swollen fat from hurt and lies
|
|||
|
|
Anguish the twisted child, gnaws on the bloody stumps of fingers
|
|||
|
|
too scared to run away, in too much pain to linger
|
|||
|
|
Apathy the deaf and dumb boy, sees it all but cannot speak
|
|||
|
|
just sits alone in a dark corner, because his eyes are growing weak
|
|||
|
|
Love the faceless corpse, lies chained upon a slab of black
|
|||
|
|
hacked to lifeless bloody bits, yet still keeps coming back
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
behind the endless walls of a thousand empty rooms
|
|||
|
|
lying in the dusty ruins of a thousand rotten tombs
|
|||
|
|
the remains of happiness, the remains of what was free
|
|||
|
|
these shattered broken fragments
|
|||
|
|
of this thing that once was me.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"I have this real obsession with grace. That's the number one thing I look
|
|||
|
|
for in a person in the physiological realm. But part of grace is not
|
|||
|
|
speaking - like the silent ballerina. I've wondered, after everything
|
|||
|
|
that's happened, 'You can change your persona. You can be the silent
|
|||
|
|
widow.' But I cannot kill the thing inside of me. That has to be kept
|
|||
|
|
alive. Or I will die." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Untitled
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Soul Eater
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
This bowl of ice cream is much too cold for me to hold. The cold stings
|
|||
|
|
my hands, but I cannot let go. My fingers are numb, blue with frost. My
|
|||
|
|
mind is numb, the ice cream tastes wonderful. This bowl of ice cream is
|
|||
|
|
much too big for me to hold. I can barely wrap my arm around it. Maybe I
|
|||
|
|
should just set it down and eat it as it makes a cold imprint on the floor.
|
|||
|
|
The water that emits from the coldness sticks to the outside of the
|
|||
|
|
container, but I don't want to let go. The chilling languid feeling of
|
|||
|
|
the ice cream washes smoothly over my searching tongue. I eat and shove
|
|||
|
|
spoonful after spoonful of this wonderfully fattening processed milk
|
|||
|
|
product into my waiting mouth. I eat faster and faster, the whole back
|
|||
|
|
of my head hurts like goddamn hell! My brain freezes, my tongue is numb.
|
|||
|
|
I drool out of the corner of my mouth. I still have a lot of ice cream
|
|||
|
|
left. I still want to eat it! Oh goddamn, I stick my head into the
|
|||
|
|
container, chewing the soft ice cream. The bitter cold gives away as my
|
|||
|
|
face presses further and further into the container. My face stings, a
|
|||
|
|
thousand tiny pins stick into it as my nerves go overload! I love this
|
|||
|
|
goddamn ice cream! I brace myself on the edges of the container as my
|
|||
|
|
face gobbles down mouthful after mouthful of gob! My head is exploding,
|
|||
|
|
bright white spots appear in my vision. It feels like I've been sucking
|
|||
|
|
slurpee through a straw for thirty minutes non-stop. If you've drank slurpee
|
|||
|
|
like I've drank slurpee, you'll know what excruciating pain I am feeling.
|
|||
|
|
My hands are slipping, oh, what the hell. I release and let my body lean
|
|||
|
|
over to this container. My mouth still a moving, chewing orifice. I love
|
|||
|
|
this goddamn ice cream! I feel myself slipping over the edge. I put my
|
|||
|
|
hands inside the container to try to brace myself from tipping in, but the
|
|||
|
|
soft, wet, cold mass gives away easily. I fall into the container. I'm
|
|||
|
|
immersed in ice cream. This is so great. I'm upside-down inside a
|
|||
|
|
container full of ice cream. I feel myself sliding downwards, my body
|
|||
|
|
working with gravity as I keep falling in. I keep eating, eating hordes
|
|||
|
|
and hordes of this delicious ice cream. I'm still sinking inside this
|
|||
|
|
ice cream. I don't care. I have all this ice cream to eat. My entire
|
|||
|
|
body is within the container and buried under ice cream down. It is very
|
|||
|
|
cold. It's colder than jumping into the ocean in the middle of the night,
|
|||
|
|
butt-naked. I'm shivering uncontrollably, my appendages wiggling. A
|
|||
|
|
seizure takes control, but my mouth is working fine. I'm still eating
|
|||
|
|
this delicious ice cream. Its so cold though, but this delectable smooth
|
|||
|
|
food is still traveling down my gullet. I think I've had enough ice cream
|
|||
|
|
now...but it's too late. I'm trapped inside a large neverending container
|
|||
|
|
of ice cream. I'm slowly traveling downward...toward hell. I'm moving
|
|||
|
|
ever so slowly. At this rate, it'll take me forever to get to hell. Might
|
|||
|
|
as well keep eating this delicious ice cream. I love this goddamn ice
|
|||
|
|
cream.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Do not operate heavy equipment with your head submerged in this liquid for
|
|||
|
|
extended periods of time." <20> Warning on a bottle of spring water
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Untitled (2)
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Soul Eater
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
More sadness. Again I sit in this chair. Four wheels attached to a cross,
|
|||
|
|
holding up a plush, not very comfortable resting place. I spend more time
|
|||
|
|
in this than not. I think deep thoughts that come out all wrong. I cry
|
|||
|
|
out in agony at the grave injustices, at my deprived life. All the things
|
|||
|
|
that don't go my way, all the things I wish for. All my dreams shattered
|
|||
|
|
when she left. Who am I kidding? She was never mine. I was wrong. Once
|
|||
|
|
I had thought she felt something for me, but that was just a glimmer. A
|
|||
|
|
faint afterthought. I cried when she left, she looked back and laughed.
|
|||
|
|
How pathetic I was, she said. Just look at yourself, she said. I can't
|
|||
|
|
believe I've stayed here so long, she said. The bitterly cold thrashing
|
|||
|
|
she left in her wake. I remained sitting in the middle of the room,
|
|||
|
|
watching the door that wouldn't close. My shoulders hunched over, my face
|
|||
|
|
in my hands. Barely I could contain all my emotions. 'Til the end, they
|
|||
|
|
just poured out. Not sadness, but more hate. I don't need any more hate,
|
|||
|
|
but more appeared. Angry sobbing wracked my body as I stared out the door
|
|||
|
|
once again. One last grasp at what I had wished for all my life. She was
|
|||
|
|
gone, the light outside was empty. My eyes could not adjust to the sun
|
|||
|
|
that shined its uncaring offspring onto the earth. I sat there a long time,
|
|||
|
|
I think I left my soul there. An empty shell I stood up. My face lined
|
|||
|
|
with streaks of leftover pain. A deep dull emptiness inside me, hard to
|
|||
|
|
breathe. So tired...so tired. Thoughts of ending everything and all
|
|||
|
|
flashed through my perception, she'd be sorry if I did that. No wait, she
|
|||
|
|
wouldn't. I am so sad...I am so sad. Don't you understand? Ragged gasps
|
|||
|
|
came as the aftershock of my torn rantings came back fullspeed. Life is
|
|||
|
|
harder to live now. She had eased this harsh world, giving to me what
|
|||
|
|
she could offer. Her special gift at making me happy. She is not a bad
|
|||
|
|
person, I thought. But I still hate her more because of it. Looking around
|
|||
|
|
for something to abide my time, there is nothing. I fall into manic
|
|||
|
|
depression, sitting by the window watching as the sky turned dark, bright
|
|||
|
|
twinkling shone out. The clouds moved, but not as I could perceive them.
|
|||
|
|
Time grew slow, it was day again. I sat there for many days, 'til I fell
|
|||
|
|
into a semi-conscious sleep. There were no dreams, but I would wake up
|
|||
|
|
screaming; death did not want to claim me. I fell off the ledge
|
|||
|
|
onto the floor. I tried to get to watch one more sunset, but I was too
|
|||
|
|
weak. I closed my eyes and I died. All the memories forgotten, all my
|
|||
|
|
worries taken care of. And most importantly, she was not there....
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Hate has a reason for everything.
|
|||
|
|
But love is unreasonable." <20> V. Raiuhes Ahaefvthe
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
What Rap Music Makes Me Write
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Soul Eater
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Silence. The room is silent. I am once again alone. The phone does not
|
|||
|
|
ring, and I wait. Hoping...wishing for a break in the silence. I hear my
|
|||
|
|
heart beating. It beats slowly, my hands tremble. The heaviness of the
|
|||
|
|
silence bears down on my mind, I thrash wildly inside. There is no escape,
|
|||
|
|
I cannot leave. I am stuck here in this void. The books are stacked in
|
|||
|
|
front of me, the radio at my side. I turn it on, noise comes out, I don't
|
|||
|
|
hear any of it. When I'm like this, none of the songs are good songs. I
|
|||
|
|
don't know any of the words. I am still waiting for the phone to ring, where
|
|||
|
|
are all my friends? They are with others, they have forgotten me. I pace
|
|||
|
|
madly within the confines of this square chamber. Three steps and I have
|
|||
|
|
to turn around, and three more. My hands grasp and grab at my hair. They
|
|||
|
|
pull in frustration, my eyes wide in anticipation. My patience grinding
|
|||
|
|
and tearing my blood-rimmed eyes. Hate rages in my stomach, a hot burning
|
|||
|
|
sensation floods my body. Tingling spreads thereafter. I jump around
|
|||
|
|
my room, making the echo that tells me I am still alone. I take out a pen,
|
|||
|
|
scribble furiously on many pieces of paper. I stab through the sheets,
|
|||
|
|
no blood comes out. How easy it is to tear through that stack...how
|
|||
|
|
easy it would be to just force it through my head. It would enter in a
|
|||
|
|
second, penetrating spongy matter. The pen would enter through my temple,
|
|||
|
|
get lodged four inches horizontally into my cranium. I would drop, blood
|
|||
|
|
would be all over. My body slumped back into the chair. The pen sticking
|
|||
|
|
straight out the side of my head. If I were able, I'd pull it back out,
|
|||
|
|
stuff some Kleenex in the newly-formed hole in my head. I would bang
|
|||
|
|
my head as hard as I could against the white textured walls. The blood
|
|||
|
|
would mark my passing as I rush outside. I take a butter knife from the
|
|||
|
|
kitchen and run outside! Ahhh, there's that girl that lives down the
|
|||
|
|
street. All thoughts of love, sex, relationship forgotten. Come here
|
|||
|
|
girl, I have something to show you. I violently shove the pen through her
|
|||
|
|
orb, pull it back out. Screams echoing in the back of my mind as I
|
|||
|
|
shove it through her chest. Leave her there in the middle of the road.
|
|||
|
|
I'd drop the knife and head toward the beach. I run, my lungs explode
|
|||
|
|
after a few minutes of hard running. I don't stop. The aching builds up
|
|||
|
|
'til I cannot stand it. But I do. I make to the blue ocean, the white
|
|||
|
|
shifting sands below. There are many people here. Many many victims yet
|
|||
|
|
to be handled. There is a little boy on the beach. How easy it would
|
|||
|
|
be to wrap my hands around his puny neck and strangle and break! I move on.
|
|||
|
|
She lies there. Golden tanned body, scantily clad. I want to break her
|
|||
|
|
violently, furiously! I can't, I don't know how. A radio lays beside her.
|
|||
|
|
I grab the radio and raise it above my head! She starts saying something
|
|||
|
|
to me, I don't care. I slam the radio into her and the radio stops its
|
|||
|
|
music. I kick her many times, the blood is all over my feet. Her face,
|
|||
|
|
dripping from the massive wound that gapes from it. Many substances
|
|||
|
|
that used to be contained within is all over the sand. I move on. I
|
|||
|
|
don't think anyone noticed. What happened to all the people? Where are
|
|||
|
|
now? I don't know. I'm tired, and its hot. I'm going to go home.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I am perfectly normal.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Why I Cried
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD> Twilight
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
As I held you tightly against my skin
|
|||
|
|
And felt your love ebb through me,
|
|||
|
|
All past pain and sorrow felt
|
|||
|
|
Made me realize how much I loved you
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I stopped and looked into your eyes -
|
|||
|
|
So blue, and yet, so heavenly
|
|||
|
|
I wondered why we put ourselves
|
|||
|
|
Through all of the unnecessary torture,
|
|||
|
|
Through the endless and vicious cycle of anguish
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"What's wrong?" you ask endearingly
|
|||
|
|
And they turn to limpid pools of care
|
|||
|
|
Of true and deep concern... and worry
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
How could I have doubted
|
|||
|
|
That innocent, beautiful look of love
|
|||
|
|
How could I have said
|
|||
|
|
Those awful things I said
|
|||
|
|
How could we have treated each other
|
|||
|
|
Like enemies...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The pain flows out, the emotion takes over
|
|||
|
|
I cannot restrain myself
|
|||
|
|
And in your arms, I feel at home
|
|||
|
|
As you kiss my tears away
|
|||
|
|
The shoulder shows itself,
|
|||
|
|
And I feel myself letting go...completely
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I become your lover, your friend, your child
|
|||
|
|
All at the very same time
|
|||
|
|
I would never trade this for anything else
|
|||
|
|
Ever again.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Imagine this: You're peaking. You're in your youth. At the prime of your
|
|||
|
|
life. The last thing you want to be is a symbol for heroin use. You've
|
|||
|
|
finally met somebody of the opposite gender who you can write with. That's
|
|||
|
|
never happened before in your life. The only other person you could ever
|
|||
|
|
write with wasn't as good a writer as you, and this person's a better writer
|
|||
|
|
than you. And you're in love, you have a best friend, you have a
|
|||
|
|
soul-fucking-mate, and you can't even believe it's happening in your
|
|||
|
|
lifetime. AND, as a bonus, he's beautiful. AND he's rich. AND he's a hot
|
|||
|
|
rock star to boot. AND he's the best fuck that ever walked. AND he wants
|
|||
|
|
to have babies, and what you want is babies. You've wanted to have babies
|
|||
|
|
forever. AND he understands everything you say. AND he completes your
|
|||
|
|
sentences. And he's lazy, but he is spiritual, and he's not embarrassed
|
|||
|
|
about praying, he's not embarrassed about chanting, he's not embarrassed
|
|||
|
|
about God, Jesus, none of it. He fucking thinks it's all really cool. He
|
|||
|
|
wants to fucking learn the path. He wants to be enlightened. Everything.
|
|||
|
|
And there's even room for you to fix him, which you like, 'cause you're a
|
|||
|
|
fixer-upper. He's perfect in almost every fucking way. The only fucking
|
|||
|
|
happiness that I ever had.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"And then it gets taken away..." <20> Courtney Love
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<20><>
|
|||
|
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20><>
|
|||
|
|
<20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><> <20>
|
|||
|
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
<20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20>
|
|||
|
|
<20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20>
|
|||
|
|
<20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20>
|
|||
|
|
<20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
<20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20>
|
|||
|
|
<20> <20> <20><> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><> <20><>
|
|||
|
|
<20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>
|
|||
|
|
<20>
|
|||
|
|
<20>
|
|||
|
|
<20>
|
|||
|
|
<20>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Legalize.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
Submit your original literary works for Spilled Ink, [volume three], to
|
|||
|
|
Twilight.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Actual Reality: (512) 873-1900 (to Green Hell)
|
|||
|
|
After Ours: (512) 320-1650 (to Twilight)
|
|||
|
|
Ice Castle: (713) 722-5400 (to Twilight)
|
|||
|
|
Liberty: (800) 474-1818 (to Alaskan Twilight)
|
|||
|
|
telnet liberty.com
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Or by Internet e-mail:
|
|||
|
|
twilight@mail.utexas.edu
|
|||
|
|
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
|
|||
|
|
|