315 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
315 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
|
___ _ _ _______ __
|
||
|
|
__ / _ \| | | |_ __ | ____\ \ / / # 13
|
||
|
|
| '_ \| | | | | | | '_ \| _| \ V /
|
||
|
|
| |_) | |_| | |_| | |_) | |___ | | (k3wl a55 azzk33 provided
|
||
|
|
| .__/ \___/ \___/| .__/|_____| |_| by m0gel)
|
||
|
|
|_| |_|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
= "poupey, our poop is better than nevada, but just barely" - nybar =
|
||
|
|
= =
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
No good name
|
||
|
|
------------
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Nybar "Eye'm da don!"
|
||
|
|
Froboy "Yumm.. isn't dat a widdle derivative?"
|
||
|
|
Nybar "MY WORK IS NOT DERIVATIVE!!!!!! HERE! LOOK! I WROTE
|
||
|
|
A.. *NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW*.. NON DERIVATIVE STORY!"
|
||
|
|
<froboy begins to read the story out loud>
|
||
|
|
Froboy "...Call me ishmael.."
|
||
|
|
<after the stories done>
|
||
|
|
Froboy "Forget it nybar..."
|
||
|
|
Nybar "Yum... kax."
|
||
|
|
Froboy "Soap.. anteroom.. he vhaz namped yump.. kax."
|
||
|
|
Nybar "It's me birthday.. can I love a lock of the fro?"
|
||
|
|
Froboy "Light or dark?"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Stupid narrator "At the begining of time.. in a land far off,
|
||
|
|
part of the fro was died in the river styx.. making it BLACK,
|
||
|
|
like the EVIL in mens hearts."
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Froboy "You may never know.. the POWER; of the fro!"
|
||
|
|
Nybar "Hmm.. I like that.. rhymes.. know.. fro..know..fro.."
|
||
|
|
<snip>
|
||
|
|
Froboy "I cut you some neutral fro"
|
||
|
|
Nybar "Know..fro..know..fro"
|
||
|
|
Froboy "SHUT UP!"
|
||
|
|
Nybar "Shut.. ututut"
|
||
|
|
Froboy "FALL SILENT!"
|
||
|
|
Nybar "Silent.. ilent ilent ilent"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
FIN
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
#################################################
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
klukaklui
|
||
|
|
I'm a chicken. FIN!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
#################################################
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Intro; At first, he was a gardener. Then one
|
||
|
|
day.. ask he was going on the bus to work..
|
||
|
|
his mind was pre-occupied. He managed to leave
|
||
|
|
behind his FAVIORITE clod of dirt. He got out,
|
||
|
|
and realising his mistake.. sought to correct
|
||
|
|
it. He's been running after that bus for 20
|
||
|
|
years now. He has an elite group of followers
|
||
|
|
who would do anything for him; They run
|
||
|
|
together.. they sleep together (eeww) and they
|
||
|
|
EAT together. These are the adventures of
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
NETTLE.. THE... WIZZER
|
||
|
|
--------------------------
|
||
|
|
-----------------------
|
||
|
|
=====================
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<the wizzer and his followers run after bus.>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Nettle, The wizzer "Why the HELL are we running?!"
|
||
|
|
Follower #1 "Shut the fuck up and keep running, or
|
||
|
|
we'll lag behind"
|
||
|
|
Nettle, The Wizzer "Yeahyeah.. ok"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Next Story.. see more of the amazing adventures
|
||
|
|
of NETTLE.. THE.. WIZZZZEEERRRRRR!!!!!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
----------
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Intro; At first.. he was a gardener. Then one
|
||
|
|
day.. on the way to work, his mind was
|
||
|
|
pre-occupied. He managed to leave behind his
|
||
|
|
FAVIORITE clump of dirt. He vowed to correct his
|
||
|
|
Mistake then and there. He's been running after
|
||
|
|
the bus for 20 years now. He has an elite group
|
||
|
|
of followers.. who run with him.. sleep with him
|
||
|
|
.. ewwww .. and do other.. stuff.. with him.
|
||
|
|
He is:
|
||
|
|
NETTLE..... THE...... WIZZZERRR!!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Scientific Follower "Wizzer, I love you SO much that
|
||
|
|
while we have been running together, I have made you
|
||
|
|
a pair of rocket jet boots."
|
||
|
|
<scientific follower holds up rocket boots>
|
||
|
|
Nettle, the Wizzer "Those look like roller-skates"
|
||
|
|
Scientific Follower "I was a little short on supplies
|
||
|
|
.. hyay"
|
||
|
|
Nettle, the Wizzer "Welll.. if they'll help me catch
|
||
|
|
the bus.. I'l put em on"
|
||
|
|
<nettle.. the wizzer puts on roller rockets>
|
||
|
|
Nettle, The Wizzer "Shit.. I don't know how to ride
|
||
|
|
in these things!!!!"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<VROOOM!!>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<the wizzer crashes into the back of the bus>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
<the wizzer falls straight backwards.. and is run
|
||
|
|
over by 500 elephants>
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Nettle, The Wizzer "OW!"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Scientific Follower "Dang... hyay"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
#################################################
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
1996: An URBAN Oddessy
|
||
|
|
-----------------------
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Bad hangover and little sleep. To much coffee..
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Not enough effect. My name is jubjub.. for those of you
|
||
|
|
who don't know. It's a normal day in my life; another
|
||
|
|
night in a cheap motel. As I was settling down to watch
|
||
|
|
some tv and listen to some music.. I was distracted by
|
||
|
|
a moaning sound.. and a clawing at the door. I opened the
|
||
|
|
door. It was my brother and then roomate nybar. He was
|
||
|
|
extremely beaten up. He looked like somethin outta the
|
||
|
|
toilet. I asked him what had happened.. and he uttered one
|
||
|
|
one singular; disturbing word: `Zinboobi'. I said `NO..
|
||
|
|
NOT Zinboobi!' right before he passed out. Let me explain
|
||
|
|
about that name. Now.. we used to be prize-wrestlers in
|
||
|
|
world wrestling federation. We were the best out there..
|
||
|
|
and we wanted to prove it. Those were the good days.
|
||
|
|
Anyway... about the name Zinboobi; The name Zinboobi
|
||
|
|
comes from a match we once had. At the end of the
|
||
|
|
wrestling season.. there is the finale; the champs fight
|
||
|
|
eachother. They were the other champ. We.. of course.. had
|
||
|
|
to strive feverously until we beat them. We worked out
|
||
|
|
for weeks.. often until we passed out. Whenever we talked
|
||
|
|
to them.. they seemed well-rested.. and confident. And
|
||
|
|
they never seemed to exercise. When the big match came..
|
||
|
|
Nybar went to say `let the best man win' in the nybar-way.
|
||
|
|
He came back disillusioned about wrestlings authenticity.
|
||
|
|
He told me he had found STERIODS in their warm-up room.
|
||
|
|
My hopes, dreams, and thoughts shattered around me. I would
|
||
|
|
never be the same. He thought we had to throw the match..
|
||
|
|
but I knew that if we threw the match.. we would be no
|
||
|
|
better then they were. We would be letting down millions
|
||
|
|
of fans. It would be like shoeless joe throwing the world
|
||
|
|
series. We had to fight. The fighting was fierce. I nearly
|
||
|
|
got KILLED. Good thing it was alternating. Nybar bravely
|
||
|
|
fought Eziekial Zinboobi while I rested. He managed to
|
||
|
|
win; because I had weakened him. Then.. I fought abraham
|
||
|
|
Zinboobi to a standstill. We had won. They swore revenge.
|
||
|
|
Only later did the manager tell me he had known about
|
||
|
|
the steriods... and if we told.. we wouldn't live to
|
||
|
|
talk about it. That was the same day he got Me and nybar's
|
||
|
|
resignation from world-class federation wrestling. We used
|
||
|
|
to be rich, happy, and beloved. Now we were jobless;
|
||
|
|
joyless, and avoided. Still.. we fought clean. When nybar
|
||
|
|
came to.. he told me that while he was bringing the
|
||
|
|
groceries home.. he was jumped by both zinboobie's at the
|
||
|
|
same time. He didn't stand a chance. And he said they were
|
||
|
|
bigger and stronger then before. He also told me that they
|
||
|
|
were coming for us. He said they said something like
|
||
|
|
`NYBAR YOU BASTARD! HERES A MESSAGE FOR THAT BROTHER
|
||
|
|
OF YOURS: THE BIG MAN DOESN'T LIKE RATS!' It was
|
||
|
|
tournament day all over again. I hadn't said anything
|
||
|
|
about it. But then I realised it. NYBAR! YOU COULDN'T
|
||
|
|
HAVE!!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Nybar "I'm sorry man. I couldn't stand it anymore. The
|
||
|
|
Constant guilt. The searing pain. The thought that scum
|
||
|
|
like that weren't kicked out. Searing my sould. Grinding
|
||
|
|
my bones. I haven't slept for the thought of it. I reported
|
||
|
|
it to my lawyer. He says we have a big case."
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Me "I understand how you feel man. I've often thought of
|
||
|
|
telling about those scum myself. But I couldn't bear the
|
||
|
|
thought of what they might do to me and mine"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Nybar "The only way we are ever going to live this through
|
||
|
|
is together. The court date is the 21'st."
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Me "THATS A WEEK FROM NOW!"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Nybar "I know. And no one *REALLY* seems to believe me.
|
||
|
|
Witness protection is refused. Today is going to be ...
|
||
|
|
difficult."
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Me "Today IS going to be difficult. You look bad. Sleep"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
....
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Thats one of the good things about nybar.. no need to tell.
|
||
|
|
him twice. He was sleeping like a baby by the time his
|
||
|
|
head hit the pillow. If I had a pillow. But it was time
|
||
|
|
I started following my own advice. I hadn't slept for a
|
||
|
|
long time to. It was a big burder off my shouders that
|
||
|
|
nybar had told them. I could now sleep in peace. Now..
|
||
|
|
another burden. Keeping alive until the trial. Out of the
|
||
|
|
frying pan and into the fire.. thats me. No need for
|
||
|
|
serious thought now. Only need for sleep.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
.....
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
I slept a long.. dreamless night. I woke up feeling semi
|
||
|
|
refreashed. Right when I woke up.. something hit me. It
|
||
|
|
was a smell. It smelled like pancakes and sausage. Nybar
|
||
|
|
was cooking breakfast. No need to get jumpy. I decided to
|
||
|
|
walk into the kitchen and get my fair share. I was half
|
||
|
|
asleep.. so it didn't really hit me until I went into the
|
||
|
|
kitchen. The place was wrecked. There had obviously been
|
||
|
|
a huge struggle. Nybar was no where to be found.. and
|
||
|
|
belive me.. I looked. On the door of the apartment was a
|
||
|
|
note. It said that if I ever wanted to see my brother
|
||
|
|
again.. I had to go to a particular house that was just
|
||
|
|
around the block. If I brought help, nybar's life was
|
||
|
|
forfeit. If I didn't come.. nybar was as good as dead.
|
||
|
|
It was a no win situation. I wish nybar were here... but
|
||
|
|
he was still busy being kidnapped. Those BASTARDS!!!
|
||
|
|
They wrecked my apartment. They broke into my abode. They
|
||
|
|
kidnapped my brother. I dropped to my knees, and yelled..
|
||
|
|
in a star trek-like way
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
"ZINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBIII
|
||
|
|
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
This.... was.... a.... SHOWDOWN! When I arrived in the
|
||
|
|
building specified by the note.. everything was dark..
|
||
|
|
with no light switches in sight. I yelled; quite stupidly,
|
||
|
|
in hindsight; "HELLO!?$#% YOU BETTER BE HERE Zinboobi'S!
|
||
|
|
AND YOU TO, BIG MAN!" and then waited. No answer. I
|
||
|
|
shouted again. Still no answer. Right when I was
|
||
|
|
considering going out and getting help.. I heard a voice:
|
||
|
|
"Good night, Mr. Jubjub"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
WHACK!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
When I awoke.. I was in a room as dark as the one I was
|
||
|
|
previously in. I was sitting, tied up.. to a chair at a
|
||
|
|
desk.. under a very bright, hot.. light. And then I
|
||
|
|
noticed something else. I wasn't alone in this room. I
|
||
|
|
didn't know it then.. but it was the big man.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
The big man "Greetings, Mr. Jubjub"
|
||
|
|
Jubjub "WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT ME HERE?!@ WHY HAVE YOU
|
||
|
|
DESTROYED EVERYTHING THATS EVER MATTERED?#@?%@#%
|
||
|
|
The big man "Isn't it obvious? You've threatened my
|
||
|
|
operation!! And about me destroying everything that ever
|
||
|
|
mattered to you.. I assure you that your brother is quite
|
||
|
|
intact"
|
||
|
|
Jubjub "WHERE IS HE?$!~@#@%"
|
||
|
|
The big man "He could be... anywhere. muahahhahahaha!"
|
||
|
|
Jubjub "Why have you brought me here?!#?$"
|
||
|
|
The big man "To extend a little.. offer."
|
||
|
|
Jubjub "Oh.. an OFFER eh? Like WHAT.. SCUM!?"
|
||
|
|
The Big Man "You and your brother used to be the best
|
||
|
|
wrestlers I ever had. The public loved you. If you would
|
||
|
|
just.. drop the charges...."
|
||
|
|
Me "NEVER!"
|
||
|
|
The Big Man "Maybe you don't feel like co-operating right
|
||
|
|
now. A little nap might help your temper. Hanz, franz;
|
||
|
|
if you please?"
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
WHACK
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
I woke up in his basement. When I saw the door.. I knew
|
||
|
|
there was no escape. It was bolted, and re-inforced.
|
||
|
|
There was one upside. Nybar was there.. looking better
|
||
|
|
then I probably did. Having nothing to do.. we decided
|
||
|
|
to tell eachother what happened. Heres nybar's story:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Nybar "I woke up at around eight. I was really hungry.. so I
|
||
|
|
decided to make breakfast. Then I heard someone knocking
|
||
|
|
on the door. It was the pizza guy. Still being pretty
|
||
|
|
tired.. I didn't notice that it was 8:35 in the morning.
|
||
|
|
He asked if I wanted to have his pizza... and I said
|
||
|
|
yeah. When I opened it.. alot of gas came out. I woke up
|
||
|
|
here."
|
||
|
|
Jubjub "So why was the apartment wrecked?"
|
||
|
|
Nybar "I dunno.. I guess they just decided to trash the place"
|
||
|
|
Jubjub "They don't only cheat.. gamble.. and other things I'm
|
||
|
|
sure.. they're JERKS!"
|
||
|
|
....
|
||
|
|
Just then I heard something. It was the door. Someone
|
||
|
|
opened it a crack and threw a loaf of bread in. It was
|
||
|
|
*EXTREMELY* stale. Someone said `hahahahah.. enjoy
|
||
|
|
your cement bread!!!'. It LITERALLY had cement in it.
|
||
|
|
It was hard as a brick. I made use of it in an
|
||
|
|
unforseen way. I threw it at the wall. Now.. the wall
|
||
|
|
was pretty flimsy.. and I saw one brick that was extra
|
||
|
|
loose. I threw the cement-bread at it and it gave in.
|
||
|
|
From there.. we were able to pry loose enough other
|
||
|
|
bricks to open a hole big enough to crawl through.
|
||
|
|
WE WERE FREE!!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
To be continued.....
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
--------------------
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
extro - nybes
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
My poor cat nybar.. she is gone on vacation. Damn those Hendrixsons.. they
|
||
|
|
have her~$@!#!@#%)!#(+ I KNOW IT!!!!!!!!! I'll kill every last one of them
|
||
|
|
with my own 2 feet! I MEAN HANDS%#!!@$!@$ !@$!@$!@)$*!%#+)!*%#)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
---------------------
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
/^^^^^^^\ *#@!#*$) <> <> PPPPPPP $$$sssss gay gay
|
||
|
|
/ (====) | ll----ll <> <> P P $$$ gay gay
|
||
|
|
/ _______/ ;; ;; <> <> P P $$$ gay gay bye bye*!@#&(!@&
|
||
|
|
/ / :: :: <> <> PPPPPPP .$$$$$$$ gay
|
||
|
|
/ / ||____|| <> <> P $$$ gay
|
||
|
|
/__/ I______I <><><><> P ,$$$$$$$ gay
|