textfiles/magazines/MONEYINC/money041.txt

MONEY INCORPORATED DIGEST #41
RELEASED 24 APRIL 1995
Pilfered By Sonic Fury

MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY
                        SONIC FURY
                        CCRIDER
                        THE BIG CHEESE
                        ORGASMIC ANOMALY
                        SEXECUTIONER
                        
This Week's Musikal Guest: UR MOM HUMMIN SOLO ON MY WOODY


        So, you say you wanna be a k-rad d-gr00vy 3l33t3 con artist too.
Well look no farther my friends, for in this issue of MYC digest I'll cover
a few simple cons you too can pull off right from your own home.  In most
cases, with a little luck and a lot of acting, you'll find yourself raking
in a few extra dollars, even getting shit for free.  I'm just gonna cover
the basics, and leave the rest up to your imagination and level of skill
(some may require a drop site/po box, in which case you must provide
your own fake id).  Enjoy!

        Oh, before we begin, one word of caution that should be passed from
generation to generation, and which was passed on to me when I was a 
wee-little con artist slamming blue box tones on my C64.  Even though scamming
hard working Joes and Janes out of the money they work for and deserve sounds
like an excellent way of making a living, it is a crime, and if you get
caught, you will burn.  Even if you wander through life scamming and scheming
without any interference from the law, most of the best con men end up lonely
and broke, spinning out their life story to other drunks in some God awful
roach infested hotel (if you need an example, look at your friends).  Even if 
you strike it big and live out the rest of your life wasting money like it 
were toilet paper, living in some secluded island under any number of alias', 
having every earthly desire at your finger tips, you will still, of course, 
die and burn in the eternal fire of hell. Sounds cool, eh?  Now you have 
something to shoot for...

SCAM #1:  The Business Front

        What you need to do is find a nice little part time job at a firm
that uses initials, like "JFC Associates" or something.  What you're looking
for here are checks made out to an easily forgable association.  A really
good example is Sprint (you know, the long distance company).  When people
pay the bills to Sprint, they write the check out to "Sprint" or, as stated
earlier in the JFC example, they may just write the checks out to JFC, 
instead of the companies full name.  Now for the hard part: find a small
bank in a rural area, get a good fake ID, and if you really want to make it
look good, counterfeit a business license on your laser printer (dumpster
dive for tax ids, ect..).  March into the bank and open up an account for
your new in-home business, "Sprint Auto Repair."  Have the account set so you 
can accept checks made out to "Your Name" (uhh, the one on the fake id), 
"Sprint Auto Repair", "SAR", and last, but not least, "Sprint".  Go to work,
go into the billing office either after hours, or during lunch when nobody's
around, and steal all the checks.  Take them to the bank, deposit them, 
withdraw the money, go buy a clean passport, and get the fuck out of the 
country.  This obviously is a scam with a big return potential, and should
only be carried out in measures of extreme desperation, as you probably will
not be able to get back into the country, especially if you embezzle a couple
million from a company like Sprint.  This kid I went to school with had a 
grandmother who did this to a church.  She tried to run to Arizona, but alas,
it wasn't quite far enough, it only took them a week to find her.  So,
if you're gonna do it, make sure you do it right.

SCAM #2 -  Free Lunch

        Slipping shards of glass, needles, hair, rubbers, dead flies, ect 
into your food at restaurants is an old trick, but it works.  Act pissed
and with virtually no social engineering, they will kiss your ass and give
you free food.  Restaurant owners know that anything can fall into the food
and in most cases will not accuse you of lying.  A word of advice: spike
the entree, not the desert.  If you sit down and eat a big expensive meal
and then something turns up in your ice cream, it looks suspicious and most
people will question the validity of your claim.  Even so, the customer is
always right, and the threat of a lawsuit always adds a nice touch.  It's
wise to reserve a table under "Dr." or another proffessional title, as this
greatly enhances the way you're treated at the restaurant.  If they are
still being picky about refunding your meal, it helps to start trouble.  Go
from table to table warning all the patrons, and sooner or later they'll 
give you food and money to shut you up.

SCAM #3 - Fly Like A King

        Say you need to book a flight, but like most people, don't want to
spend all you're hard scammed cash on a first class ticket.  No problem.
Just buy an economy class ticket.  Wear a nice, expensive suit, nice shoes,
and a nice watch.  Board the plane as late as possible, try to avoid the 
stuardess guiding people to their seats.  Look weary (maybe smoke a bowl
before you get on the plane), don't shave for a day or two, loosen your tie,
and run onto the plane.  Grab an empty seat in first class and crash, act
exhausted.  Seven out of ten times, the stuardess will not bother you, and
you shouldn't have to show her your ticket.  If you do, give it to her 
anyway.  When she points out the fact that you should be seated in the
economy section, not first class, act confused and upset (shouldn't be hard
to do if you're high). Say something like, "That fucking bitch, I TOLD her
first class, the fucking moron better not have charged me first class.  Jesus
Christ, can't anybody do anything right?"  Continue mumbling under your
breath as you apologize to the stuardess and make your way back to the 
economy section.  As long as you maintain a "I'm the one paying your fucking
paycheck" attitude, the stuardess might even apologize for the inconveience
and let you keep your first class seat.
        Here's another nice little trick to do at airlines.  Say you have a
4 o'clock economy class flight.  No problem.  Get to the airport early, say
around noon.  Get in line and buy a first class ticket for any late flight.  
Most first class departure lounges serve free food and drink all day.  Take 
your newly aquired ticket and go pig out.  Get really trashed on all the free 
alcohol, then when you've had enough, go refund your ticket and catch your 
economy class flight out of town.  Say something like, "My RN just paged me, 
I don't know when I'll be able to leave town."  You shouldn't have any 
problems refunding a ticket, especially if it's a 10pm flight and it's only 3 
in the afternoon.

SCAM #4 - Rave Til Dawn

        Get a PO BOX and advertise a huge illegal rave in a small town 
somewhere.  Advertise nationwide, like in usenet news groups.  Sell as many
tickets as possible.  Guarantee big name DJs and lots of X.  Then call the
cops and tip them off as to the event (hold it in a field or an empty 
warehouse).  Let them know that hundreds of people will attend, even fax them
directions.  More than likely roadblocks will be set up and people will be 
turned away.  If not, oh well, a bunch of ravers show up to an empty field.
Then post a follow up message saying that the rave was busted and the police
are holding the names and address' of everybody who purchased tickets to the
event (which of course, is a big lie).  Most people will be too scared to ask
for their money back.

SCAM #5 - Vending Machines

        I'm not going to cover much in regards to vending machines hear.  
Read through back issues of MYC digest for more in depth information on
scamming these beasts.  I do have one comment, however.  Someone said you
can get free games out of video game machines by prodding the coin slot
with one of those sparking wands you use to light gas stoves.  I'm not
sure how well this works, but it would be interesting to see what other
effects these devices have on other change machines.  Any volunteers??

SCAM #6 - Money 4 Sex 

        Post some ads advertising various adult toys, such as VIBRATING
BUTT PLUGS for only $10, and 12" VIBRATING DILDO WITH VARIOUS ATTATCHMENTS 
for only $30!!  When people start ordering them, send back letters stating
that their merchandise was out of stock, and a refund is included.  Send
a check along, but print accross the top or in the memo area in bright
fluorescent letters "VIBRATING BUTT PLUG" or "12" VIBRATING DOUBLE ENDED
DILDO".  Most people will eat the money, rather than go to the bank and
cash a check in their name with VIBRATING BUTT PLUG written on it.

SCAM #7 - Make Money Off Of Dead People

        Scan the obituraries in your local paper.  Get a list of names 
together and make up a company letter.  Send three letters to the dead person
over a period of about a week requesting payment for a service received a 
couple months ago (b4 they died).  Then start sending letters stating that 
they have three more weeks to pay the money owed, or their name will be 
turned over to the credit agency in their town.  More than likely, the 
descendants will pay the amount owed, but make sure it's small ($20 or $30) 
so that the party doesn't get too suspicious and make enquiries into the 
debt.

SCAM #8 - Win The Lottery!

        Start letting everybody know that you devised a computer program
that generates winning lottery numbers.  Go around and collect a minimum
of $5 from each of the people who want to be on your winners list.  
Every Friday, generate a bunch of numbers and give a copy of this list to 
everybody who paid, along with the percentage of the overall winnings they
will receive.  Don't play any numbers, just pocket the money.  The few $10
"wins" you'll have to pay out won't put much of a dent in your profit, and
it will keep people hooked for a while.  When people get tired of it, just
drop it, and you're clear.

        That's it for this issue of MYC digest.  Use your imagination, there
are a lot of varitions on these scams which can be performed.  Come up with
some original variations, and make yourself some money.  Happy hunting..
l8r...
       - Sonic Fury

        Remember to ftp to: ftp.paranoia.com /pub/zines/money  for back 
issues of MYC Digest.  MYC can be reached via email at an202526@anon.penet.fi

COPYWRONG 1995 MONEY INC