textfiles/magazines/MONEYINC/money035.txt

MONEY INCORPORATED DIGEST #35
RELEASED 24 MARCH 1995

MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY
                        SONIC FURY
                        CCRIDER
                        THE BIG CHEESE
                        METHOD MAN
                        ORGASMIC ANOMALY
                        SEXECUTIONER

TODAY'S TOPIC: JEW THE JEWS, OR GETTING A GOOD DEAL ON ANYTHING!
               PART ONE: CONTROL METHOD

EXTRA BONUS: MONEY INC DIGEST INDEX FOR 1-35!

Ok, I know that the best deal you can get on something is to steal it, but
sometimes out of necessity, we must actually buy things.  Since most prices
on things are set in stone these days, there are only two things that we can
jew somebody down on: cars and houses.  Of course, secondhand stuff can be
bargained for, and these techniques will work even better for these items,
since the seller usually isn't a professional salesman.

First, these techniques will be explained in the concept of buying a car.  I
have worked as a car salesman, and I know how they operate.  The main thing
to remember is that the whole sales business should be looked at as a game.
A game with high stakes maybe, but still a game.  The key to winning this game
is to stay in control.

PART ONE: CONTROL
Control must be maintained if you are to get the best deal possible on the 
item.  Remember to maintain conversation with the salesperson, but do not
act overly excited about the product.  If he asks how you like the product
say "Just fine." or "It's OK."  If you appear to happy with the product, he
will get more aggressive and try to close you on the spot.  You must avoid
this at all costs.  If you buy on the spot, you WILL pay full sticker, or close
to it.  

Once you find the product you want, make sure you stay fixed on finding out 
the price.  If the product has a price sticker, be blunt.  Demand the best 
price that the salesman can do for you.  He will try to avoid the subject and
try to bring up some other crap about the quality or some other useless shit.
Make sure you answer his questions, but go right back to price.

Once you start negotiating price, get his final price, then leave.  If you try
to leave, he will try at any cost to get you to stay.  Stay firm and demand
a copy of the price on some sort of paper or business card with the dealer's
name.  They will hate doing this, but if they don't tell them you WILL NOT
buy from them.  Then you can use this as a tool at another dealer.  The 
second dealer will definately beat this deal.  Little do they know you took
the MONEY INC bargaining course.  This "bottom line" price is only a starting
point for you!

PART TWO: TIPS FOR BARGAINING

1.      Never buy on the spot.  You can use this as a tool to get a better
        price.  Call back a few hours later and ask for a better pirce.
        Also you can shop some more and go back with better prices.

2.      Dealers will sell at cost.  All you have to do is keep bothering them
        and annoying them till they do.  Remember that there is not much
        markup on new cars.  Common best sellers have maybe 5% and special
        models closer to 10%.  Used cars are a rip off with up to 30% on some
        popular models.  Four wheel drive trucks, Jap imports and sports
        cars are included in this.

3.      Your trade is worth more than they offer you.  Unless it is only like
        $500 or $1000 car, it is worth up to 10% more than they first offer.
        Dealers that offer more than the average for your car are almost
        always adding factory to dealer discounts onto your trade.  Also, if
        possoble go to a dealer that sells the kind of car you have.  So if
        you have a Ford truck and you like a car at the Ford dealer, trade
        it there.  They appreciate the vehicle you have more than the Chevy
        dealer will.

4.      Never buy from used car only lots.  They get the crap that new car 
        lots send to auction.  Also, most new car lots service the cars 
        before they go out on the lot.  Ask to see a service order.  If they
        don't show one, go somewhere else.

5.      When bargaining, if possible, talk to the manager.  He has to approve
        the deal anyway, so let him know you mean business.  If the salesman
        goes to see the manager, don't be offended.  Some consumer magazines
        say to leave if the salesman can't approve the deal for you, but
        that's bullshit.

6.      Don't buy the shit that service sells cars.  A new car can be serviced
        at any dealer that sells the same thing, so if a salesman says that his
        service department is better, reply "Good.  If I buy my car at your
        competitor, I'll bring it here to get serviced!"  He might get pissed
        off, but fuck it.

I hope you learned something from this first installment in the "Jew the Jews
Get a better deal on anything" series.  Next episode will contain an original
and tough act, the indecisive method.  All that includes is for you to act
like you're not sure.  Dangerous for you, but very effective.

This article is intended for the public and may be distributed at will.  It
is intended to inform the community in general as to the nature of sales
techniques and how to avoid getting ripped off.  Any reference to Jews as a
race of deceitful lying bastards is intended (as a metaphor for the low-life
profession of car sales.)  If you are offended by the references to Jews,
fuck off.  Erase the file if you want, but you can't erase MONEY INC!

REMEMBER, EVEN SALESMEN HAVE TO MAKE A LIVING, BUT LET THEM DO IT OFF SOME'
OTHER SUCKER, NOT A FOLLOWER OF MONEY INCORPORATED!

Copywrong 1995, Money Inc
All rights sold at auction.

MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY
                        SONIC FURY
                        CCRIDER
                        THE BIG CHEESE
                        METHOD MAN
                        ORGASMIC ANOMALY
                        SEXECUTIONER

GREETINGS TO:
                SUBHUMANZ, PAZZA AND THE REST OF LSD
                TAO (EVEN COCKSHAVE!)
                NOBODY ELSE


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MONEY INC DIGEST DETACHABLE INDEX!!!!

1       Fuck animal rights activists - by Sleepy
2       Lamers, what to do with em - by Sleepy
3       Lame Groups - by Sleepy
4       1 800 COLLECT Scam - by Sleepy and Sonic Fury
5       Do it Yourself Drugs - by Sonic Fury
6       Crippled Children Suck, or free beige boxes - by Sleepy
7       1 800 CALL ATT Scam - by Sonic Fury
8       Switching for Imbeciles - by Sleepy
9       French people Suck, or the Sprint Cellular scam - by Sleepy
10      Card a life! - by Sleepy
11      Never released
12      Camel Jockey Suck! or Crime in the 90's - by Sleepy
13      How to fuck up the USPS - by Sleepy
14      900 number scams and McAnarchy - by Sleepy
15      The future of the Amiga - by Sleepy
16      How to save the Amiga - by Sleepy
17      Trans Union Credit reports - by Sleepy
18      Not released
19      Not released
20      Welcome me back - by Sleepy
21      Loan company scams, or Dialing for Dollars - by Sleepy
22      Using credit files to your advantage - by Sleepy
23      The new Equifax credit report - by Sleepy
24      Jesus smokes crack! or free cards - by Orgasmic Anomaly
25      Jesus does bong hits! or more free cards - by Sleepy
26      Money Inc Bill of Rights - by Sleepy
27      Greatest Scam of all Time - by Sleepy
28      Hack your way to hell - by Sonic Fury
29      12,000 easy scam victims - by Sleepy
30      Free CD Roms - by Sleepy
31      Flight and Fall of Condor - by Sonic Fury
32      Your Mom's a slut, or Coin Changer Fraud in the 90's - by Sonic Fury
33      Making money wit Don Lapree, or easy counterfeiting - by Sonic Fury
34      Your Dad sucks dick, or forgery for laymers - by Sleepy
35      The one you're reading asshole!

To be continued fuckface.....