80 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
80 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #3, Issue #5, File #046 ]
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[ "Musty's Ego Trip :)" by Mustaine ]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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musty's world
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[Mustaine]
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You've read about the Dave continuum, you've read about the Bob
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continuum, and for god's sake, if you're reading this, your probably one of
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those little Star Trek geeks that knows ALL about the Q continuum. Yes, that
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means YOU. (YOU, the little bleary eyed, never see the light of day,
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700,000 words per minute warez freak!) SO now, I would like to introduce you
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to the Mustaine contiuum. I am sure by the end of this article you will
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agree that the Mustaine continuum is where you will want to spend the rest
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of your mortal life. YES YOU DAMMIT. And if by some odd chance you do not
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want to spend the rest of your life in this contiuum, well....**** you.
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[Editor's Note: "****" is Mustaine's censored version of "fuck."]
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Firstly, in the Mustaine continuum, everyone has a really cool alias.
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There are no WildnCrazyGuy's...no Elivs's...and absolutely NO Gardner Swan
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spelled backwards (sorta) Red Dragons... Pretty much everything else goes,
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but this Easter Bunny crap HAS to go. That said, you MUST agree that the
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Mustaine continuum is cool.
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* For those of you who were lost on that last paragraph, search through
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* old Mind Warp issues, and ask around 301/202/703 BBS's...
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God is also actually defined in this continuum, and his name is
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Mustaine...and his GENDER....<drum roll> is MALE. Predominatly sexist,
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masculine, egotistical, and downright Mustaineish. In fact, there is even
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a rating system for God. According the the Goddess of College Park (Dani
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Offen), who is going to kick my ass for publishing her name :), Mustaine
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rates around 15 (out of a scale of ten) for ego. For conceit she gives me
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an eight...but we'll work on that. By the way, while I'm actually writing
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this article (because you never know, right Raven????) Dani is the sexiest,
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coolest, most beautful chick I have ever had the fortune of laying my eyes
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on. Too bad she no like me. POO! Oh well. I would date her any time.
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Ack! Digression. (AS usual.) All the small woodland creatures
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in the Mustaine continuum are called 'Musty', and all the fish are flounder.
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All the women are either beautiful, tall, slender and sexy redheads (cough-
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Dani-cough), or smashingly exquisite brunette's that look like some chick
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called Meg Q. (Can you tell Musty's pressed...eh???)
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Everything in the Mustaine continuum is green, except the people, and
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cheese NEVER molds here. There are no diseases, (so you can screw untill it
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falls off!!!), and NO ONE ever gets PMS here. Stabbing Westward and Dream
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Theater play every other song on every radio station...and EVERYONE in this
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contiuum can dance, and KISS as good as me. Not only that, but there are NO
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PIMPLES in the Mustaine continuum! NO ******* clearasil!!!!
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[Editor's Note: "*******" is Mustaine's censored version of "fucking."]
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So you want to live here right? You want to check this place out
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right?????? Well, just in case you do, e-mail me at mustaine@wam.umd.edu,
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and we will talk about the 1 year limited living permit inside the Mustaine
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continuum. It's really cheap for cute, single women...and for men...it runs
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about 30 million dollars per month. Check it.
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Greets : Dani, Meg Q. (I luv u), alt.gymkana, Erudite, Raven, Papa Smurf,
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COSMiC CLoWN!, and Mott's Apple Juice.
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==============================================================================
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Call Hell's Kitchen - (301) 989-8510
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==============================================================================
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