119 lines
6.9 KiB
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119 lines
6.9 KiB
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #0, Issue #3, File #003 ]
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[ "School Phun #1" by Raven ]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Lame School 'Phun'
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[Raven/EoS]
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Another list of stupid things to do at school, there must be at least
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a hundred different text files that cover the topic. A special thanx to
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PlasticMan for the idea of #2, Hershey Kisses for #7, and to Big Bernie for
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the ideas for #1 and #9...
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1. If you witness a fight, <preferably one with a large crowd around it> run
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into the crowd and yell at the top of your lungs "GUN!". it's great to
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see the people run.. usually even the people in the fight will take off.
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2. If you happen to come across someone who's recently been dropping acid
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<if your school's anything like the ones I've been to, which it probably
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is, you can find these people in the bathrooms all the time> tell him
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something pleasant like "Aw, d00d, there're ants crawling all over you!!"
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or "Ahhhhhhhh!!! the room is filling up with snakes!!!" or anything
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that will scare the hell out of someone who can't reason and will believe
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everything that you happen to tell them.
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3. Go to your local supermarket, and buy a pad-lock and some ground beef <or
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any other meat you want, fish works nicely, too>. Now, goto school on a
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friday or the day be for a holiday, and find an unused locker, throw the
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meat in it, and put the padlock on it. By next Monday <or whenever you
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return to school> there'll be a quite unpleasant smell, that will be sure
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to disrupt the school, and hopefully get you out of class (if it doesn't,
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then your friends will hate you).
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4. Simple, but effective: Pull a fire alarm. But please, use enough sense
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to wear a glove or use a stick, or something, so #1 you don't leave
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finger prints, and #2 all fire alarms nowadays have a dye that comes out
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of the alarm when you pull it, thus marking the person who did pull it.
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5. For those really religious, christian teachers <every school has 'em>:
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When it comes time to hand in your homework, hand in a sheet of paper
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that is nothing but pentagrams, "satan loves you" written backwords,
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lot's of 666's, and some broken crosses and anything satanic you can
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think of.
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6. If you have a teacher who is constantly late, when you're in the class
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room, and the teacher isn't, go press the intercom pager button, thingy,
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and wait for the secratary to respond, then, when she does, have a girl
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in your class scream "SECURITY!!!" and you can get a security guard sent
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to your class, if you time it right, then you can get the teacher and
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the security guard to come into the room at the same time. Do this daily
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then do it on and off, like do it 2 days, then don't do it, do another
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day, then don't do it, make an irregular pattern, then, after a while of
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this, when they actually stop responding to these calls, just go and
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kill your teacher one day, it won't matter how loud she screams for
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security! hahahaha!
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7. Near the beginning of a new semester, when you get into a new class, and
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the teacher is assigning new books to each student, there are usually
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a lot of extra books lying on her desk, when she isn't looking, steal as
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many as you can fit into your bag. Then take the books to a local used
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book store. They'll buy em back for $10-$20 a piece.
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8. Become great friends with all the school faculty, especially security
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guards and janitors. #1: Janitors are just plain cool, #2: if you become
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friends with the security guards, and you get into a fight with someone,
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they can help you in one of two ways: if you're kickin the kid's ass,
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they'll take their time getting over to the fight, and let you kick his
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ass a little longer, or, if you're getting your ass kicked, they'll run
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over, and maybe pound on him a little for you.
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9. If your school is currently offering free condoms, go get a couple,
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and unroll them. Then get a big ass loogie in your mouth, and spit it
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into the condom. Find a busy hallway, or even better, a crowded lunch
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table, and fling the condom in. It'll take about 2 seconds for someone
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to realize what it is, but when they do, you can believe the area will
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be empty in another 2 seconds. Loogies and cum are very hard to tell
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apart from each other when you're glancing at it for a second.
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10. If you know someone who has openly declared themselves as a 'homophobe',
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stalk them, and when they go into the bathroom, get a bunch of your
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friends together, and go into the bathroom behind him. Go to the urinal
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next to his, while a friend goes to the one on the other side, and have
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the rest of your friends kind of create a semi-circle around the dude.
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then while he's peeing, both you and your friend, will both blatanly
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start staring at his penis, with a wide grin on your face, while the
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others all stare at him with the same big grin, when he turns around to
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run, he'll be greeted by a bunch of other smiling faces. hahahaha that'll
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scare the shit outta the little ignorant mofo.
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11. Turn your school's air conditioning into the world's biggest bong. Buy
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as much pot as you can afford, I mean a LOT of pot, and go to the boiler
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room of your school. Most schools have centralized A/C, so look for one
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of the major A/C ventilation ducts. Find something that can hold the
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burning pot, but will let still the smoke out of it and let it burn
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properly (it should be big, cuz you shoulda gotten enough pot. If you're
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a poor mofo, then go steal some, or kill a dealer or something.) Now,
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set the container with the pot in it, in the air duct, now, light it up,
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and when the fire alarms go off, and everyone leaves the building, just
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have all your friends stay in the bathroom or something, and get real
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close to the A/C...
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==============================================================================
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Call Arsonist's Arsenal BBS the Mind Warp WHQ - (301) 208-0847
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==============================================================================
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