textfiles/magazines/MILK/milk-058.txt

        <20> <20> <20>      Mighty           Issue #58
   <20> <20>    <20> <20> <20>    illicit          "Chat-Addiction Anonymous"
  <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20><>     Liquid           -By James Hetfield
  <20>   <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>    Kollections                    
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        There are very few places you can go anymore and find 
anything worthwhile to do.  BBSing used to be my getaway from 
the everyday lifestyle and the people I found most repulsive 
in my everyday findings.  But, as of late, chat boards have 
brought these people into the BBSing world. 

        Let me give you a few examples of some typical Chat 
board styles of users.  I'm using the format of G-Talk because 
it's the format I know best.  Let's take one board I used to 
be a Co-sysop on, the Nuclear Greenhouse.  Names have been 
changed to protect the annoying.

(Logon goes here)

P#04[T1:Vamprette) Hey, Jamesy, wanna go get stoned with me 
 and a few of my friends tonight?
#05[T1:Freek) NIRVANA FUCKING ROCKS 
#07[T1:/\/ecro) Hi Scottie.  Wanna have modem sex?
#14[T1:Tainted Realty) My life sux. I think I'll go stick my 
 head in the oven.  Damnit, where's my prozac? I don't think I 
 took the right amount today...

        Here we have the four classic examples of why chat 
boards are quite repulsive.  We have the drug-addict, for 
one.  A lot of people are attracted to BBSing because the 
people around them are quite like themselves... and that USED 
to be clean, for the most part.  But... that statistic is 
changing.  And chat boards seem to be one of the largest, 
easiest hangouts for these types.  We also have the 
Alternateen, who sits around on the chat board all day and 
bitches about how so-and-so sold out.  Now, these people will 
be found on Message Boards as well, but at least on message 
boards you don't have to talk to them.  The third type shown 
is the Modem Sex addict, who uses the modem to get themselves 
off in one form or another.  This was not very possible on 
Message boards, but chat boards make these people a lot more 
plentiful.  Finally, our last example is another version of 
the alternateen, the depressed one.  These too can be found on 
message boards, but it's a tad more aggrevating to see someone 
talking about slitting their wrists live, on the scene, then 
reading a message about in.  At least in my opinion.

        That was simply one example of the chat board.  let me 
show you another example, another G-Talk in Chicago, This one 
called The Lunitic Phringe.  This Chat was once a multi-node 
BBS, but that hadn't helped its user/repulsive ratio.  Once
again, names have been changed to protect the annoying.

#01[T1:Bolverine) doodz, my life sux big cock.
#05[T1:Ken<65>aur) whatever dood
#07<T1:-=White Ninja=-> <20><><EFBFBD> <20>
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#11{T1:PATTI} doodz, I'm going to get so fucked up tonight...
              I got enuff acid to last me... fuck

        Here we have some of a same classic examples, only a 
few differences.  Everyone on this board think they're "tuff 
shit" because they use words like "w0rD" "dood" and racial 
slurs all day long.  But, if you look closely, they all show 
the same problems of chat people that the other chats show.  
Take for instance the first one.  This person is just saying 
in another form a lingo that he wants to die.  E.g. The 
depressed alternateen we saw earlier.

        You see, no matter WHAT chat board you call, it's not
going to be a good one.  Therefore, as a Ex-Chat-Addict, I 
advise you to keep as FAR away from chat boards as possible.
and whatever you do, do not SUB at one.  Subbing at a chat 
board is simply selling your soul away to the phone company,
as you'd learn when you get your 200 dollar phone bill from
calling the chat all the time.  

        Message boards are a lot safer, saner, practical way
to BBS.  You don't have time to rot away on a message board.
Chat boards with a message base system, if you get a chance
to look at them, are quite a joke.  Chat users just do not 
understand how a message area works.  

        Finally, SysOps of Message boards have time to take
CARE of their BBS, because there isn't as much to worry about.
They have the ability to monitor message bases and files and 
such a lot easier than a chat sysop, because the chat sysop,
well, sits around and talks.

        If you happen to be a Co-Sysop of a Chat board, I 
pity you.  But I do have a full-proof plan in 3 EASY steps
of how to quickly and efficently lose your account at your
chat, therefore taking the FIRST step to becoming an Ex-Chat
addict:

    1. Mail every user on the system and make fun of them
    2. Mail the sysop and call him a jerk
    3. Let one of your friends get on your account and have
       a /K spree... while the Sysop is at Console

        If you perform these easy steps, chances are they
won't exactly like having you hanging around their chat board 
and longer.  

        Break the chat addiction!  Stop calling your favorite
chat today!  Leave your SUPPOSED chat friends, because if they
really WERE your friends they'll call message boards like YOU!

  (* A public service message from James Hetfield *)

<EFBFBD>           <20>  [MiLK] Information
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>  <20><>> MiLK File #58: "Chat-Addiction Anonymous" <<3C><><EFBFBD>
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