117 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
117 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> [MiLK]
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> File #34
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD>
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Keeping Things in Their Proper
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><>
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<20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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By Biff Thelmus Bonglemeister III
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Nowadays, everyone seems to be grasping for an idol of some sort, some
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role model, some person or persona to look up to, admire, emulate, and
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otherwise worship. Wherever this stems from (and psychiatrists assert
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many different reasons, like bad parenting, insecurity with self-image
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or self-esteem, etc., but psychiatrists are full of shit, some of them
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also think it is caused by sucking pacifier tits.), it is undeniably a
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very important part of human society today.
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Some people choose sports superstars. Most sports players flunk
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college but pass on a sports clause, and would probably be flipping
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patties in McDonald's if it were not for America's passion for watching
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postadolescent men in skimpy clothing engaging in various strenuous
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activities. An obvious example is the highly exalted Michael Jordan,
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erstwhile basketball superstar (now a stupid loser baseball player).
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Other less tasteful people might choose Shaquille O'Neal or even
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Charles Barkley as their idol. More grandiose idols would be Olympic
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stars--Jackey Joiner J-whatever Whatsername, for example, or Greg "Next
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Time Watch Me Break My Neck" Louganis, or even that psychobitch, Tonya
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Harding.
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Some people choose movie stars. Despite the fact that they fight,
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bitch about insignificant and petty little disturbances, marry and
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divorce as often as most people take pisses, disclose or make up their
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innermost secrets to Life magazine, and are purely incapable of talking
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in complete sentences, movie stars are highly admired. Some people
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chose such stars as Kevin Kostner (always popular), Tom Cruise (also
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always popular), Emma Thompson (excellent actress), or Patrick Stewart
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(the living phallic symbol).
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Some people choose rock stars. Rock stars are uniformly morons, all of
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them freaks. Many choose to end their lives with a sniff, some with a
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bang, and some, in the bathroom by their toilets, mooning the world.
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Never mind that rock stars dress in fishnet stockings, let their
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tongues hang down to the floor, play music one wouldn't play for the
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moose, and yet tell us what they think about how the environment is in
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mortal danger, and that we should vote for Al Gore and his pansy inner
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child in the next election. Rock stars, Pearl Jam freaks, this weird
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hairy guy on Meatloaf, Metallica devotees, etc. etc. are "cool." Some
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people even consider Michael Jackson cool.
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Anyway, idolizing people is great up to a point. When one begins hero
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worship the advantages of having a role model break down. So here I
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recommend the very easiest ways of cutting someone's image down to
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size.
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(1) The "I Am Naked" Idea.
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The next time you see an idol on stage or on television (even on
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eMpTy-V), imagine that person butt naked. Even if they are the
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same sex as you are. If they are the same sex as you are, they
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will instantly turn disgusting. If they are of a different sex,
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and are too old/young/ugly, then they will again instantly turn
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disgusting. If the star does not turn ugly and disgusting in your
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sight (i.e. they are of the opposite sex and hot or you are gay or
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desperate), proceed to (2).
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(2) The "I Am A Moron" Idea.
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Now imagine the star at school, in a remedial reading course,
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trying to pick his/her way through a "Dickwad and Jane" reader.
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Boy, this one makes them seem stupid and laughable. If you are
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into dumb people anyway, maybe you are one, proceed to (3).
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(3) The "I Am Constipated" Idea.
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This one never fails. Remember: EVERY SINGLE STAR, EVERY SINGLE
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IDOL, EVERY SINGLE ROLE MODEL OR POWERMONGER--ALL OF THEM, AT ONE
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TIME OR ANOTHER IN THEIR LIFE, HAVE TO GRUNT AND GROAN WHILE
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SITTING ON THE CAN. This is a great way to keep things in proper
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perspective. Whenever some great politician stands up to make a
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speech, I instantly picture this old geezer butt naked on the
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toilet, constipated, grunting and groaning in agony while waves of
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stink pass through the air.
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Yeech. Instantly, whatever appeal they might have had disappears.
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Have a nice day!
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<EFBFBD> <20> [MiLK] Information
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<EFBFBD> <20>
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<EFBFBD> <20> [MiLK] Sites:
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<EFBFBD> <20>
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<EFBFBD> <20> Barney's Pleasure Palace...(708)965-3098 [14,400]
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۲<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> The Acropolis..............(708)557-2826 [14,400]
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۲<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> The Lunatic Phringe........(708)232-0565 [12 Nodes]
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۲<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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۲<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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۲<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> File Number 34 By Yohan Bawk
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<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> This file is Exactly 6293 bytes long
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