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"I'm afraid I'm falling for you,
'n I'd do about anything to get the hell out alive..
or maybe I would rather settle down with you."
Weezer, "Falling For You"
Copyright and contact information is located at the bottom of this magazine.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonas E'Zine Volume 2, Issue 8 :: March 13, 1996
In this issue..
1. Edicius' Editorial
2. Jonas News and Information - by Tom Sullivan
3. Europe, My Experiences: Part 1 [travel journal] - by Tom Sullivan
4. Angst - the Big Picture [essay] - by Jamesy
5. A Good Walk and a Nice Belt Does a Man Good [story] - by Jeffrey Brayne
6. Cloning - Invasion of the Bodysnatchers [essay] - by Auren Hoffman
7. At the Surface [poem/story] - by Tom Sullivan
8. Simon the Ant [story] - by Jeffrey Brayne
9. Poetry - by Various Writers
10. Reviews - by Tom Sullivan
11. Closing Notes and Copyright Information
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edicius' Editorial
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today, I met my Grandmother.
Before today, I have no memory of a person who should have been a very
integral part of my life for the last seventeen years. I met a person whom I
last met when I was almost one year old, and before today, I only "knew"
about.
You see, my grandmother- my father's mother, and the last of any of my
grandparents- is a very sour woman. I really don't want to say that, but she
is. She's from the old school of thought. She came over from Ireland, and
worked for her children. Her husband passed away, and she raised her
children on her own. So, when my father met a woman and got married, she
didn't like that. She felt that my mother was stealing my father away from
her. So, the last time that I saw my grandmother was when I lived in New
York City, and I moved out of New York when I was about 10 months old.
It's always hurt me. This woman despised my mother. My mother is the nicest
and kind-hearted person that I know. But, because my grandmother is
stubborn, she couldn't accept the fact that her children would grow up and
get married. I wanted to know this woman. I wanted her to know me. I
wanted to have some sort of relationship with her.. but she refused to be a
part of my life. She refused to be a part of my brother's life, she refused
to be a part of my sister's life.. She refused to be a part of my parents
life.
For what reason? I don't really know. Because my mother married my father,
my grandmother believed that she was losing her youngest son. She wouldn't
have lost him, but through her actions, she lost him.
Over the past few years, she's become older (she's going to be ninety in a
few days) and more dependent. She lived in a nursing home in Yonkers (NY),
and my Uncle Dennis took care of her, because he lived close by. However,
a few years ago, he met a woman and they started dating. He moved in with
her, at her house in Brooklyn. She rented out rooms in the house, and had a
spare room that his mother could move in to. So, instead of being so far
away, he took her in to his home.
Now, this is where my grandmother became somewhat, but not much, nicer to my
mother. She had a new woman to dislike. A new woman was taking away another
son. So, she became somewhat nicer to my mom. They've been able to have
conversations on the phone without my grandmother screaming at her. But,
they still didn't see each other. My dad does visit her, however.
In a few days, she's turning ninety. My Uncle Dennis invited us to his house
to have dinner and cake for my grandmother. I went with my parents, my
brother & sister, my sister-in-law, and my nephew. I really wanted to have
some sort of memory of my grandmother before she passes on. & now I do.
It's remarkable. This woman astounded me. We talked for a little while, and
it really upset me that I never got a chance to really know her. It really
upset me that she could be so mean to my mother, even though my mother would
have done so much for her.
We talked, but we couldn't really talk. This woman knew absolutely nothing
about me.. and that hurt. It really hurt me. I mean, this is the first
vivid memory of her that I have. Unfortunately, it might be my last. I hope
not, but that's how it might be.
I can't believe that one's stubbornness would allow them to miss out on so
much. It amazes me, and it hurts me. I really wish that I could have known
her, and known about her.. I'm sure that she could tell me some amazing
stories- about her childhood in Ireland, or her life in New York City.
But years ago, she made a decision. She decided that she didn't want
anything to do with our lives. There's nothing that I can do about that now.
It was her choice, and she missed out on a lot. I'm glad that I did get a
chance to see her, and get to see for myself what she is like, before she
passes on.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonas News and Information :: by Tom Sullivan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Jonas website (http://www.cybercomm.net/~edi/jonas/) has been redone,
again. But, this time, we've added more features. You'll find a lot more
up-to-date information and features. There's a Weezer news section, a New
Jersey Music information page, stuff that doesn't make the ascii edition.
Generally, a lot of stuff. It'll be updated quite regularly, so check it
out.
& no, this three or five month lapse between issues won't be a common
occurrence. Trust me.
We have a lot of good poetry this month, check it out.
And mark your calendars: April 4, that's our two year birthday. Aww, yeah.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Europe, My Experiences: Part 1 :: by Tom Sullivan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Each year in the Hague, Netherlands, nearly two hundred high schools from
around the world converge on the Congressgabouw for what is called The Hague
International Model United Nations (THIMUN, from now on). Now in it's 29th
year, THIMUN is a week long conference in which each high school represents a
different United Nation-represented country or organization. During the
week, there are various debates and speakers, and different topics that
different committees cover.
My school is one of about twelve in the country that participate in this
event, and we have been participating in this for around 25 years. This year
we were representing Costa Rica and the United Nations Disaster Relief Office
(UNDRO). I was lucky enough to be selected to go on this trip, and it gave
me a wonderful opportunity to learn about a different culture, nation, and
people.
We left the United States on Friday, January 17th on a KLM flight out of JFK
Airport (New York) at 11:25 pm. We arrived at Schipol Airport in Amsterdam
on the 18th around noon. It took us a little while to get our things
together, exchange money, and go through customs. We finally got to the
Carlton Beach Hotel in Schevenigen (about 45 - 50 minutes north of
Amsterdam) around three that afternoon. We went out, ate dinner, and got a
general feel for the city.
I attempted to keep a travel journal, but that didn't work. But, I did
manage to get a few enteries here and there, and one of the complete ones was
for this first day:
-----
Day 1, 10:10PM (Netherlands)
This day is finally coming to an end. I'm really happy with how the day was.
The Netherlands is a great place.
We started the day in the air, landed in Amsterdam, and now we're 45 minutes
north of there, in Schevenigen. We're staying at the Carlton Beach Hotel.
The landing was odd. The pilot told us that there was only a 600 meter
visibility. That was evident when we landed and didn't see the runaway until
the very last second. Schipol Airport is cool. Really modern and colorful.
Nicer atmosphere, too. We took a bus here from the airport.
When we're actually here, and on our own, the trip is worthwhile. we've done
so much today, it's nuts. I called home, and then we went to the mall. That
mall's cool, some interesting CDs in the music store (heavy on dance and
techno, which I figured). Prices were too high though, some CDs were 42 - 50
gilders (roughly $US 25). I went to dinner. We went to Applebee's, and I
had a hamburger. Real cultural. They were drinking there, and then we went
to a bar where they drank some more. I took a walk off by myself and went to
the mall again. I looked around, and they had an awesome air hockey table
there. Really .. weird. I met up with them, and they bought some more
liquor (including "hemp" soda, with hemp extract) and brought it back to the
hotel room(s).
The rest of the night has been a huge party. We've been jumping from room to
room, floor to floor. We met some delegates from St. Louis, they're
representing Sudan and the World Health Organization. We invited them to
come and hang out with us, but I probably scared them off.
-----
That's my only complete journal entry. I have fragments of thoughts here and
there, but nothing worth publishing. Anyway, I'll continue with the rest of
the trip.
On the second day, we were supposed to meet our host families. You see, over
the years, my school, Mater Dei, has established a relationship with the
Maerlant Lyceum. Over the years, this has become our sister school in the
Netherlands, and each year, during THIMUN week, they provide room and board
for students from my school. On my delegation, we had twenty one students.
They had about fifteen in their delegation, so there was generally one or two
students from my school per student from their school. In one or two cases,
there were three from my school in the same house.
The person that I was rooming with went by the name of Menzo Reinders. I met
him at about three in the afternoon. He was a very cool person. I don't
know how to really describe him. He was the good looking, suave, and cool
one that all the girls like. He was really good to me, and the another kid
that I was rooming with from my school, Mike, during the week.
We went back to his house. But first, we had to drag our luggage over a mile
to the bus stop, take it on the bus, and then take it another half mile once
we got off the bus. It didn't bother me much.
His house was neat. I was up in the attic, and I had a lot of toys to play
with to keep myself busy. He had two younger brothers, 6 & 8. His mother
worked for the Ministry of Education, and his father was a judge. His family
would prove to be very cool, and very receptive to us over the week. They
helped me learn a lot about Dutch culture and made my time there very
enjoyable.
The first night with Menzo, we went out to an Italian restaurant with my
delegation and the delegation from the Lyceum. Donatello's; it was an
interesting place, nothing too out of the ordinary, when compared to American
restaurants.
Afterwords, we went out to Club MTV. This was a bar that Menzo, Mike, and I
had gone to earlier. It was sponsored by MTV Europe, and had two big screen
TVs showing MTV Europe, but they played shitty American dance music the whole
time. During the course of the week in the Hague, I would go to this bar
every night.
Menzo didn't have a curfew, so we could come in whenever we wanted to. The
last bus to Menzo's house that left the area where we spent most of our time
in was at 12:44am. So, it was either take that bus, or take a cab. I made
the bus every night, because I wasn't drinking. But Mike and Menzo took a
cab home a few nights.
The next day was our first day of actual THIMUN activities. It was extremely
boring. It was the first day, a day of lobbying. We were supposed to meet
other people, share ideas, and see what I would be working on during my week
on the great Disarmament Commission. More or less, I went to one meeting,
talked to a few kids about nuclear weapon free zones in the South Asia and
Middle East, took a two hour lunch, and left at 3:30.
In the morning, we were supposed to meet my MUN (Model United Nation)
director between 8:30 and 9 in the lobby. The first day, we ran a bit late
with breakfast, and didn't get there until 9:05.. On Wednesday, we came in
about 9:15, but that was ok, because our deputy Chairperson and four other
people didn't come in until 9:30.
That night, we went out to Club MTV, and Jaque's. Jaque's was a cool bar.
Really crowded, and once you were in, you were in. They played better music;
one night, they played a live version of U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday" and
everyone just shut up, and sang along. It was really eerie, but really
awesome.
The only other bar that I went to more then once was this weird place called
the Blue Purple. They had a bunch of pool tables, the only bartender that I
came across that didn't speak English, and pretty good techno music. I liked
it, but I didn't. It was an ok place. I preferred the Club MTV more, for
some reason.
As far as the actual THIMUN activities go, it was an interesting time. I
didn't participate in any of the debates, although I did raise my placard
a few times, but just didn't get called on. It seemed that our chairpeople
were biased towards certain countries, but kept calling on South Korea,
Seychylles, Afghanastan, and Comoros. So, I kept hearing the same people up
at the podium speaking during the debates, proposing resolutions and
amendments to the resolutions and striking clauses and blah. It got boring
at times, and I fell a sleep a few times. Luckily, I had another person from
my delegation there with me, Jill, and she woke me up. Well, we woke each
other up ..
The rest of the week was the same. Go to THIMUN, go out to a club, watch a
lot of people get drunk and stoned, go home, sleep. Repeat. I didn't touch
anything while I was over there, I'm a very adamant straight-edge person. It
also seemed that some of the people that did get drunk or high wound up doing
something that they shouldn't have, and now have things haunting them that
they don't want. I also didn't touch anyone, of course, because I'm a loyal
sap, and I had, and still have, a girlfriend over here.
On Saturday, we went to the bus station with our stuff, and took a bus to
Amsterdam. We left our host families, and it was sad. but, I'm writing to
Menzo, and I plan on keeping in touch with him. If I do go back next year, I
will see everyone again.
The Hague, to me, was an odd place. I don't really know how to classify it.
It had a lot of really cool shops and stores and it had aspects of a "city"
in certain areas. but, everything, besides some restaurants and bars, closed
at nine. There is no such thing as a "convenience" store there. However,
McDonalds and Burger King were open until 12, and one McDonalds was a 24 hour
place.
Amsterdam, however, was everything I thought it would be. It was a large
city, and the closest thing that I could compare to New York or Philadelphia.
Things were always going, round the clock; stores, shows, bars. Whatever you
wanted, you could find late at night. There were homeless, and people
begging for change. It was an awesome place.
There, were stayed in the Barbizon Centre Hotel. It was a fantastic place,
but one of the bell hops was a stalker. He was constantly around the fifth
floor, the floor my delegation (including girls) was on. He would always
talk to certain girls, and actually invited one of them to go out to dinner
with him. & he was about 30. nutjob.
In Amsterdam, we did a lot of things. I went to different museums, including
the Anne Frank House, the Rijkmuseum (Renoir's "Night Watch" is there), the
Torture Museum, the Van Gogh Museum, and the Sex Museum. The Sex Museum is
something that you could only find in a place like Amsterdam, and it's right
down the street from a Hooters. The Sex Museum was ok. It had a big room
with pictures all on the walls, divided into categories: bestiality, fat
women, oral sex, and so on .. Other then that, the museum wasn't spectacular.
We also took a day trip to Cologne in Germany. There, we went to a really
big cathedral. There's an observation tower, about 600 meters high, there.
I walked up to the top, and it was an awesome view. Although it was foggy,
you could see a few miles across the Rhine River. During World War II, that
Cathedral was not bombed, Allied Forces held the church in high regard, and
refused to purposely destroy them. So, the Germans used it as their lookout
post for Allied Forces.
Overall, my thoughts on the Netherlands are very good. I didn't really have
any "bad" experiences, just the general feeling of homesickness from time to
time. One of my friends also had her pocketbook stolen from a shoestore in
Amsterdam. Otherwise, nothing bad happened to myself or anyone else I went
there with. So, we were lucky.
My general impression of the people there is very good. There were homeless
people and panhandlers, but you didn't find very many people who you would
really look at "odd", much like you would do walking down the street in New
York or Philadelphia. (A few interesting street performers aside, of
course.) People over there are a lot more liberal, as well. Generally, I
liked the people that I met over there.
I had a great time on this trip. I learned a lot about different things. I
became closer friends with a few people from my school. Generally, things
went excellent. I look forward to possibly returning there one day, and
definitely seeing a lot more of Europe in the future.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Angst - The Big Picture :: by Jamesy
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Angst has quickly become a commonly used word in the American language. Many
see it as a Generation/X phenomena, stemming from living in an atomic age
where nuclear holocaust is a distinct possibility. However, with the fall of
The Soviet Union and the end of the Cold War, this threat of global nuclear
war has, for the most part, diminished. Yet angst is still flourishing.
What, exactly, is angst, and where are its origins? Is angst a positive
thing?
The definition the Internet newsgroup has placed on angst is, "Any feelings
of anxiety, grief, unhappiness, suffering, misery, depression, sadness, and
fear." _The Oxford Dictionary_ defines angst as, "Anxiety, anguish, neurotic
fear; guilt, remorse." _Webster's 9th Collegiate Dictionary_ has, "A feeling
of anxiety, apprehension, or insecurity." Some of these words defining angst
are very active emotions, others are very passive. Yet the only word used in
all three definitions is anxiety. Whether or not angst should be associated
with sadness or misery can be debated.
One thing all three of these definitions leaves out is the frustration
that is a vital piece of angst. Since none of these definitions fit my
conception of angst, I will provide an operational definition of angst for
this essay. Angst is the frustration associated with attempting to structure
one's personal universe and failing, coming directly in conflict with society
because of one's idealistic view of what "should be" instead of what "is."
Angst did not originate with Generation/X. It can probably be best
associated with the age of the irrational, beginning in the late nineteenth
century. As the second scientific revolution was knocking at time's door, a
revolution that would destroy any conception we had of absolutes in our
world, many thinkers began to come up with philosophies that were not all
bright, shiny days and pretty flowers. Friedrich Nietzche was a forerunner
of these theories, asking, "What path should the individual take in a world
where God is dead?" (Perry, 686) However, like Nietzche, most did not come
up with conclusions to their questions. "Nietzche had no constructive
proposals for dealing with the disintegration of rational and Christian
certainties. Instead, his vitriolic attack on European institutions and
values helped to erode the rational foundations of Western Civilization"
(Perry, 687).
Knowing that angst is not just a product of our generation, we can go back to
focusing on what angst exactly is. According to the newsgroup alt.angst,
"Above all, True Angst (tm) arises from the notion that life is essentially
pointless and absurd, and that our miserable existences count for very little
in the grand scheme of things. There are two main categories of Angst:
emotional, and intellectual. Emotional Angst encompasses the typical
experiences of human suffering. Intellectual Angst is primarily concerned
with The Great Sucking Void of Existence." (FAQ, 1) Unfortunately, their
definition sounds much more like the definition of nihilism then the
definition of angst. Angst is the frustration associated with an idealistic
person striving to reach perfection and failing. Although an angstful person
may creep towards nihilism in the long run, their idealism still causes them
to get blatantly pissed-off when their endeavors do not return success.
It is unfortunate that alt.angst is the only real source for the discussion
of angst on the Internet, especially since they label angst as more of a
nihilistic view of the world than it is. Nihilism is at odds with angst; the
angstful ask themselves "why don't things work out this way? why does
everything go wrong? what is wrong with me? what is wrong with the world?"
while the nihilistic are resolved on these matters, assured that "the world
is fucked up. deal with it."
The only thing I believe valid about alt.angst's definition of angst is its
importance. They state, "We all embrace angst here. It is what defines our
existence. After all, what use would life be if everything was easy and there
was nothing to worry about? Angst is a necessary element in the growth and
development of any human being. It is what builds character; it provides
contrast and depth to the human experience. Angst, at its simplest, is that
which makes us human." (FAQ, 2) Although their belief might be a little too
encompassing, it strengthens my assertion that angst is not about nihilism.
Angst is about questioning why things are the way they are and prepares us to
later decide what we want to try to do about them. If we did not
passionately become worried about the world, our lives, our families, our
educations, we would not be as determined to fix what we see as problems.
Angst can strengthen idealism, and provide it with the foundation that
decisions based on realistic problems can be measured from. And, probably
most important, angst provides us with a polar emotion, making the feelings
of pride and self-worth all the stronger when they are experienced.
--------------------
Works Cited
"Angst." _Webster's Collegiate Dictionary_. 9th.
"Angst." _The Oxford Dictionary_.
Perry, Marvin et al. _Western Civilization: Ideas, Politics &_ _Society_.
5th ed. Geneva: Haughton Mifflin, 1996.
"alt.angst: Frequently Asked Questions." Online. Internet. Available
www.angst.com/faq.html.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Good Belt and a Nice Walk Does a Man Good :: by Jeffrey Brayne
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sweltering cubicle at 100 degrees. All alone, hot, and hungry. What the
hell was I thinking. I left a good woman, a beautiful house and a ceiling
fan for this. What makes a man leave good for bad? A question I ask myself
often. I got home from the gig at about 10:30 and realized I didn't have a
key for the place I was staying yet so I walked down to the Globe. I went in
and had myself a Guinness, the drink of champions. As I looked around I saw
many people who looked like they didn't have the key for their place either.
I then sat there until I had figured on someone being home at my new hovel. I
shouldn't say hovel, the walls were painted. Anyway... After about 5
Guinness'', my legs felt like walking and my bladder felt like emptying, so I
was off. Nothing is more oppressive than a full bladder. It can make you do
the craziest things! As I was urinating on the side of a house, I spied a
girl I knew who had seduced my fiance more then once. She was driving slowly
and peering down the driveways as if looking for something or someone. I
think she was looking for me. I was near my new abode and I'm sure she had
some idea about where I was co-habitating with my workmates. I didn't want
to see her so I ran to the house. I forgot to stop urinating. It created a
little mess. Luckily, one of my roommates was home. He and his girl were
watching TV. I knocked on the door because it was locked. I didn't have a
key, you know. They let me in and I tried to hide my pants by pulling my
shirt down. It worked. I ran up the stairs and removed my clothes. It was
then that I started thinking about the temperature of this room, my urine
stained pants, my lack of company, and oh yes, my missing driver's side
window removed carelessly, by someone without a job, at the gig in Scranton
last Friday night, but that's another story. It's time for bed now. Good
night.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cloning - invasion of the body snatchers, the sequel :: by Auren Hoffman
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
This Dr. Ian Wilmut of Scotland (if it ain't Scottish it's crap!) decides to
clone an adult sheep and play the divine one. A week later it is revealed
that another group of researchers have cloned a monkey. By now we all know
the story, thought about the consequences of cloning humans, and wondered
what type of human would consent to actually being cloned. But we may not
have considered who owns these clones.
Current US Patent law states that anything that is man made can be patented.
This has been interpreted by the US Supreme Court and other courts to allow
researches to patent an actual strand of DNA, as long it is isolated. Many
scientists have patented human cells and many legal experts believe that
patents should apply to human organs. You get where I'm going? Maybe
someday someone somewhere will patent a human clone or a slightly altered
clone.
Goodbye 13th amendment. Slavery officially ended in the Nineteenth Century
(in the United States) but the Twenty-First Century may bring us a new dark
era of cloning humans, or superhumans, to do man's dirty-work. These clones
would be owned lock, stock, and barrel by the patent owner for the duration
of the patent (and maybe copyrighted thereafter). Imagine keeping a human
clone (like Dolly the sheep) in captivity for the purpose of drug testing.
You could build an arsenal of clones who would be forced to take drugs and
perform experiments to save the "originals."
We might create an entire caste system were there exists free "originals" and
slave "clones." Awful.
Though the technology is fascinating and its discovery is commendable,
"cloning" brings up a host of social implications. Cloning sheep (isn't it
weird that "sheep" is the plural for "sheep." I think we should change the
English language so that the singular is "shep" but that's another column) or
other livestock could be advantageous if the process becomes inexpensive and
efficient. We could ensure that every shepherd is raising strong and fat
cattle, all looking exactly alike. Of course, a large part of raising cattle
is nurture, not nature. If I was a sheep (that accusation has been made
before), I'd go crazy if all my friends were my exact duplicate. Scary.
Even more scary is the possibility of cloning humans. Of course we all know
that cloning sheep isn't much different from cloning Michael Jackson,
Madonna, Dennis Rodman, or Bill Clinton. Or any human being. Though the
average Jane probably could not afford the process of isolating their DNA and
then planting it into the womb of a paid woman carrier, Hollywood celebrities
could indeed afford to clone themselves.
But what's the use? Would Pee Wee Herman be a good parent to his twin?
Imagine growing up as the twin of your father. Your real father is your
father's father and your real mother is your father's mother. Faye Dunaway's
"my sister, my daughter, my sister, my daughter" line from Chinatown may now
have a whole new meaning.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the Surface :: by Tom Sullivan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"you're dumb"
do you even realize
what you did
how you behaved
how i felt?
did my feelings ever come into play
into consideration
into your thoughts?
They stood outside the convenience store, yelling and fighting. Well, at first
there wasn't much yelling, nor fighting. It just kind of sprawled from that
first spark, as their friends looked on. They didn't want to get involved,
that would be too much of an inconvenience. So, they got their Big Gulps and
Doritos, and kept on watching. Making snide remarks, hoping that the two
would get their act together so they could go somewhere else.
"i'm not comfortable with this situation"
shut up
you don't even know how good you have it
with me
us
together
you can't handle us
our relationship
you need to fuck
and suck
whoever
whatever
whenever
you want to,
without guilt
conscience
feelings
emotions
"being tied down"
She was shaken. No one had talked to her like this before. She didn't want
to admit it, but he was right. She couldn't admit it. They had gone too far
into this discussion to turn back, it was a pride issue now. Maybe less of a
pride issue, and more of a "she's dumb" issue, and sometimes didn't know how
to do the right thing. It would have made him very happy to know that she
actually understood what was going on, and how much he was hurt, but where
was _her_ immediate satisfaction in that?
"leave me alone"
bye
yeah
whatever
uh-huh
i've heard that before
shut the fuck up
She tried to apologize, but it didn't work. Nothing worked. She was using
the same tired lines over and over again. Yada yada yada. He didn't want to
hear it. It's not that he didn't care about her anymore, it's just that he
refused to believe that she was feeling any remorse. She couldn't, he
thought, attempt to rectify it now.
"you're not fit to drive"
oh
now you care?
now you don't want to lose me?
now you're afraid
and you realize what you've done?
too late.
It's weird how one doesn't show their true inner-self until extreme
circumstances arrive. How was she to know that he wasn't ahomicidall maniac?
They never got to a point in which that side of him could come out. Heck,
how was _he_ to know that he wasn't ahomicidall maniac? Certain things
develop over years. But, here she was, trying ..
"bitch"
dumb whore
get out of my face
call me
when you understand
other people's emotions
and when you learn
how to handle yourself
and when you admit
to yourself
that you really do have problems
.. but he didn't want to hear it. She tried before, and she'll "try" again,
but it didn't matter to him. It didn't matter to him because, at the
surface, it didn't matter to her. How is he to know how she acts when he's
not around? She could be leading him on over the months that they're
together. She could lie and cheat and steal behind his back, but in his
eyes, she'll always be an angel.
red
white
blue
red
white
blue
flash
flash
.. but maybe, it's better that he thinks that she's an angel. When memories
are all that you have to live by, it's best to think of the good things. &
if he doesn't know what she did behind him, then he doesn't really know the
bad things? Kind of ironic, isn't it? As long as she's good to him to his
face, and he never finds out about her lies, they're both happy, at the
surface.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Simon the Ant :: by Jeffrey Brayne
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Two: Simon Has a Blast!
----------------------------
Simon picks up his chick after school one day. They decide to go for a ride
in his car. It is a 1974 Chevy Nova. She says, "Drive really fast Simon! I
love it when you drive fast." He does as instructed by his chick. They are
cruising North of Route 29 at about 108 MPH! They are having fun. After a
short while, the fun wears off. She says, "Oh Simon, why don't we pick up
some beer. I love to drive around and drink beer!" So they did. He bought
a 12 pack and then continued driving on Route 29. They drank. They were
drunk. She then says, "Oh Simon, do you still have that dynamite in the back
seat of you '74 Nova?" "I SURE DO!" answers Simon. He reaches around back
and grabs a stick. He hands the stick to her. She says she wants to light
andd throw it out the window. Simon agrees that it would be a good idea.
She lights the dynamite and throws it. She forgot to roll the window down. I
heard today that they might live. I also heard there's a '74 Nova for sale
for parts, $50 OBO.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Poetry :: by Various Writers
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
shredded nights - by Eerie
i have yet to find another hole to fall into
another weakness to plague
sitting around black shot cells
they drive me mad
& green threads of blistering lights
& yellow flashes
blink
blink
blink
fucking sun doesn't set back
not that i still have any sympathy for the night
go on
repetitive movements
fuck you again & again & again
every god damn night
you make me so fucking sick
--------------------
iron crests - by Eerie
slowly fading smell of boredom
& the chants from paraplegic fairies
hung on each wall to give a sense of rapture
as sand hurts my skin
under a cardboard colored sky
--------------------
Nice - by Jeffrey Brayne
sometimes generic is good
sometimes generic is fine
sometimes generic is all that you want and more.
what would life be without genericism?
the world is androgynous and envious of shame
shame that allows us to continue our facade
of tyranny against the unsuspectings
gratuitous lies that envelope our beings
without conscience
without truth.
--------------------
new years, 1996-97 - by Tom Sullivan
your warm breath
against my cheek
on a cold winter night
amongst the swarm of the masses
of celebrants in a holiday
that'll seem small
once we're together.
as the ball drops
and couples get together-
to ring in the new year,
i want to celebrate it
with you
and only you.
my arm around your shivering shoulder
partying until the break of dawn
with goofy hats
and jazz bands
and friends
all having a good time
just slip away with me
and forget everyone else
spending this night together
will secure
what will be
the greatest year of our lives
if we're together.
--------------------
"untitled" by belial
what is this reality?
a silly computer with
no mind,
no thoughts?
is it something higher?
no.
do i create my own
reality? my own way
of being... my own
time, my own future?
no.
do i need to get more
in touch?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reviews :: by Tom Sullivan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Concert
----------
Mighty Mighty Bosstones/King Chango/The Shods - Stone Pony (Asbury Park, NJ),
December 6, 1996
My CD copy of the Bosstone's _Don't Know How To Party_ skips somewhere during
"Issachar", and it really fucks it up. On this night, the Bosstones didn't
miss a beat, as they brought their ska sounds to an extremely receptive
Jersey audience.
I saw the Bosstones a few months ago, when they came around with the Warped
Tour, and I thought they were perfect then. I knew that this time they would
be even better. I looked forward to hearing a full set from them, and not
the 45 minute-abridged Warped Tour version.
The Bosstones were supported by the Boston-area band, The Shods. The Shods'
guitarist, whose name I really can't remember, toured with the Bosstones on
their last tour, in Nate Albert's place. The Shods were ok. They played a
slow pop-ska-minus horns set that lasted about 30 minutes. They did do a
number that Dickey Barret of the Bosstones wrote and sung, with the full
Bosstone's horn section. That was a pretty good song.
Next up, was the latin-ska band, King Chango. They were really impressive.
This was the first show that they were doing with the Bosstones, even the
first time that Dickey even saw them. They did a great set, turning out
terrific ska beats with Spanish/Latin undertones. They got the ground
dancing, and they seemed to have a terrific time.
Soon after, the Bosstones took the stage to the loud cry of "Mighty Mighty -
Bosstones" from the audience. They entered with the lights darkened and a
giant bulldog banner behind the drumset, and took off to a roaring new song
called "Noise Brigade." Over the next hour and a half, they kept the crowd
dancing and having a great time by playing a great mix of old and new songs.
They gave us old favorites, such as the near-hit "Someday I Suppose", "Holy
Smoke" "Hell of a Hat" and "Toxic Toast", and "The Bartender's Song."
During "Toxic Toast", they were joined by their bus driver on the keyboard,
and the guitarist from The Shods. They also debuted a large amount of new
songs to the crowd, all of which are on the Bosstones upcoming release, due
out on March 11.
Overall, this was a very exciting night of Ska music on the Jersey Shore.
This is the third time in a year that the Bosstones have come to the Pony,
and each time they blew the roof off the place. The Bosstones are always
welcome in New Jersey.
----------
CDs
----
Lisa Meri (I'm Not Gonna Say I Told You So)
Lisa Meri plays a mixture of jazz, rock, and pop. She has a really good
voice, and is a good pianist.. but, she just doesn't do anything for me with
this 5 song EP. It's a good effort, and I don't want to classify her as
another female artist with a piano (read: Tori Amos, Fiona Apple), but I may
come off as doing so. Meri's sometimes hoarse and sometimes raspy voice and
piano don't really create a good harmony on this album, except on the final
track, "Can I, Could I be your Friend".
(Lisa Meri, PO Box 932, Cambridge MA 02140)
----------
Demos
-----
Hated Youth (Rejected)
This six song demo spotlights a promising hardcore band from Illinois.
However, the second side of my copy of this demo is really screwed up, and it
only plays one of the three songs that are supposed to be on that side. &
it plays that one song in double time, so it's really distorted.
Anyway, the three songs that I could hear, "Hated", "I Wanna Kill You", and
"IAM" are really good. The drummer in this band is terrific, but you can't
hear the bassist that well on "Hated". The guitarist is a good for the
style, he's fast and loud. The vocals are the same, fast and loud and
screeching. Brett Noble, the drummer, really impresses me on this demo.
He's really good.
Overall, this seems to be a good band. With a better recording, and more
"refinement" in their music, Hated Youth will be a good band.
($3 ppd, Hated Youth, 4213 23rd Ave, Moline IL 61265 :: blkczr@aol.com)
-----
Dread Fabric (s/t, Jailbait Records)
"The basic ethos of the band is that on stage you either put on a good show
and sound good or if Johnny Soundman dicks you, break shit (we're a very
intellectually based band)."
A really loud and fast punk band from New Jersey. I don't know how to
describe them. They're good on this demo. Really fast, and really loud.
I don't know how to describe much further.
The tape starts out with "Shoot the Meltdown" and goes into "Riot". Both of
these songs are really good. The rest of this side is really good, although
the tape cuts off right at the beginning of the last song on Side A.
Side B is pretty good, too. My favorite song is "Black Hammer". The album
ends with "Azul!"; did I mention that both Fitz (lead singer) and Chris
(bass) are both card carrying Communists, as well as Native American Rights
Activists? Needless to say, this is a very politically charged band.
This is a good band. Fast punk chords, coupled with a good drummer and
bassist give way to a good band in the rising New Jersey punk scene.
(DF Fitz, 2 Forman CT, Englishtown NJ, 07726-2905)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contact & Copyright Information
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonas e'Zine Volume 2, Issue 8 is Copyright (c) 1997 by Jonas Productions,
all rights reserved. Copyrights to stories, articles, artwork, and
photographs are property of their creators, unless otherwise noted. The
contents of this publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part
without the express written consent of the copyright owner. Jonas may be
freely distributed as long as this notice remains in place.
Means of contacting Jonas Productions:
email - edi@cybercomm.net (edicius/main address)
marc@netlabs.net (belial)
www - http://www.cybercomm.net/~edi/jonas/index.html
ftp - ftp.etext.org /pub/Zines/Jonas
mail - Jonas e'Zine / c/o Tom Sullivan / 8 Mills Avenue / Port Monmouth,
NJ 07758-1114
irc - look for edi on the EfNet IRC channel #jonas
Miscelaneous information:
Thanks to; Belial, Mindcrime, Grey Hawk, Pat, James, Steve, Kristen, and
Brianne. Also, Abbott Promotions, Hated Youth, and Dread Fabric. I also
need to thank every who has helped me along the way. Thanks for everything.
CDs that I was listening to right before the release of this issue: Reel Big
Fish, "Turn the Radio Off" / Suicide Machines, "Destruction by Definition" /
Skankin' Pickle, "The Green Album" / Rocket From the Crypt, "Scream Dracula
Scream" / & Weston, "Got Beat Up"
Jonas reviews all 'zines, cds, demos, movies, or anything else that is sent
to them. Send it to our address listed above. We promise we will review it.
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