textfiles/magazines/HOE/hoe-1081.txt

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     $$     .d""b. .d""b.                  HOE E'ZINE #1081
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     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$ss$$                  "MY BACK PAGES"
     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$                          by AIDS
     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$  $$                      5/21/00
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     $$  $$ "TssT" "TssT"

        Hey all, 

        It's AIDS here. If this file was being written under normal
 conditions, I'd probably put in some nonsense strings and bob dylan quotes
 and maybe a little assorted poetry from some Gaulic sources, but this isn't
 a normal circumstance.

        No, this is a suicide note.

        Yes, you heard me, 'suicide'. 

        I once read an imaginary statistic in a magazine I made up which
 said that suicide notes on the internet were written at a rate of 15 a day,
 and I don't know if that's an accurate statistic, but it sure feels like
 it. The only one I've ever had personally mailed to me was the one from
 teletype's most serious suicide attempt. I've seen quite a few on the web,
 which I feel supplements my actual experience rather well. 
 
        Well, you might be wondering what's made me want to kill myself, and
 I'll tell you; I was sitting around reading the HOE archives and thinking
 "this is such absolute shit", and then I thought to myself, "Hyuk Hyuk,
 well at least /my/ files are original and interesting," and then I gave
 myself a big gigantic pat on the back. 

        Of course, then, I started thinking about it and realized that it's
 quite possible my files follow the exact same internal and personal
 template that everyone else's seem to follow. All the files by KREID, for
 instance, are definitely written by KREID; they're either mindless bullshit
 or overly precious tales of hard living. All the files by Mogel are
 definitely written by Mogel, files straddling that line of almost incisive
 wit immersed in an active sense of intentional disdain and an oppressive
 feeling of someone trying to write something they want you to know isn't
 serious and that they don't care about, which results in poop jokes. It's
 the same with everyone else, too, and I have no doubt that I could read a
 headless textfile and immediately identify its author, presupposing its
 author was a person with whose work I was to some average degree familiar.
 
        So I began a in depth analysis of my own work, from an objective
 viewpoint, and I think I came up with a few defining criteria by which I
 might be defined. 

	ATTENTIOn ATTENTION THIS TEXT FILE HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER BY THE
 CAPITALIST PIG DOG OF THE PEASANTRY "AIDS" BY ZIEGO VUANTAR

        THE PARAMILITARY OPERATIONS KNOWN AS "OPERATION: PARAMILITARY" HAS
 TAKEN PLACE AT 0600 HOURS WAS A COMPLETE SUCCESS THE GUATEMALA BANANA
 FACTORY IS NO MORE AND THE SICK FUCKING ANIMALS ATE THE BANANAS AS EXPECTED
 WE HAVE LIBERATED THE PROLETARIAT FROM THE FACTORY BOSSES AND APPLIED THEIR
 SKILLS IN MACHINERY TOWARDS THE MANUFACTURE OF WEAPONS FOLLOWING THE
 EXAMPLE OF REVOLUTIONARY HERO "CHE" GUERVA WE ARE NOW CAPABLE OF BRINGING
 THE EXPLOITIVE SYSTEM TO ITS KNEES AND THE BOOSHWAH FORCE INTO THE DESERT
 TO WATCH ENDLESS ENDLESS SCENES FROM FILMS BY ITALIAN MASTERS OF HORROR
 DARIO AGENTO AND LUCIO FULCI

 Interviewer: Being a Catholic, don't you believe in Good and Evil?

 Lucio Fulci: This may seem strange, but I am happier than somebody like
              Bunuel who says he is looking for God. I have found Him in
              the others' misery, and my torment is greater than Bunuel's.
              For I have realized that God is a God of suffering. I envy
              atheists; they don't have all these difficulties.

              It is true that all my films are terribly pessimistic. The
              main characters in The Beyond, for instance, become blind, as
              their sight has no raison d'etre anymore in this lifeless
              world. But humor and tragedy always join, anyway. If they
              emphasize the tragic side of things, it may have a comical
              effect. Everything considered, having directed so many
              comedies when I started my film career turns out to be very
              useful for my true cinema, the cinema of the Fantastic.

        THIS PIG DOG DIED IN 1996 AND THUS ESCAPED THE FURIOUS WRATH OF
 ZIEGO VUANTAR BUT SOON WE WILL DISCOVER A METHOD TO RESURRECT THE DEAD JUST
 SO THAT WE MAY KILL THEM AGAIN 

        All of that being said, of course, I would say perhaps the worst
 problem with my files is their employment of devices which most recently
 have been associated with the term "post-modern", by this I mean a text
 which demonstrates the method of narrative first by commentating on the
 method within the narrative itself. This, of course, has really very little
 to do with the so-called "post modern condition", and can be viewed in
 sources as far as back as the Iliad; a good example is that central
 document to the Western Canon, HAMLET by William Shakespeare, which is as
 much about the structure of tragedy and comedy as it is about a jaunty
 aristocrat.

        Oh well. 

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 [ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu        HOE #1081, BY AIDS - 5/21/00 ]