393 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
393 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
|
,...
|
||
|
|
$$$$
|
||
|
|
$$$$T""P$$$ba, ,gd&P""T&bg. ,gd&P""T&bg.
|
||
|
|
ggggggggggg $$$$ $$$$$b d$$$$ $$$$b d$$$$ $$$$$b ggggggggggg
|
||
|
|
""""""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P """""""""""
|
||
|
|
$$$$ $$$$$$ T$$$$ $$$$P T$$$$
|
||
|
|
$$$"""""" " """" $$$$$$ "T&$bxxd$&P" "T&$bxx$$$$$' " """"""$$$
|
||
|
|
""" """""" """
|
||
|
|
ggg "#ASCII OUTSIDER ART MANIFESTO" ggg
|
||
|
|
$$$ by -> AIDS $$$
|
||
|
|
$$$ $$$
|
||
|
|
$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #960 -- 12/14/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
|
||
|
|
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
|
|
==||==
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
|
|
__ ____
|
||
|
|
/__\ / \
|
||
|
|
|__| / \
|
||
|
|
| | | __ |
|
||
|
|
| | | | | |
|
||
|
|
|_ _| | | | |
|
||
|
|
/ \ |____| |____|
|
||
|
|
/ /\ \
|
||
|
|
/ / \ \
|
||
|
|
/__/ \__\
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
(MARTIN LUTHER) (HIGH CHURCH OF ASCII ART)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
________________________
|
||
|
|
| |
|
||
|
|
| 95 Theses to the High |
|
||
|
|
| AND MIGHTY ASCII GODS |
|
||
|
|
| of the earth: |
|
||
|
|
| |
|
||
|
|
| YOU |
|
||
|
|
| SUCK |
|
||
|
|
| |
|
||
|
|
|________________________|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
A letter unto the high and mighty of the ASCII WORLD, those who
|
||
|
|
imprison and constrain the true art form within their "standards" of
|
||
|
|
quality, skill and execution, accurate representation, and good taste. A
|
||
|
|
letter unto those who would keep expression caged and give me base
|
||
|
|
impudent kisses.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
The 95 theses:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
1. When Our Lord and Master Jarett said, "DRAW! FOR GOD SAKES DRAW!", he
|
||
|
|
willed the entire life of the ASCII artist to one of expression.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
2. That namby pancy fancy ASCII art which looks like the thing it is
|
||
|
|
intended to depict is not the greatest of the arts, but rather the
|
||
|
|
weakest.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
3. That those who participate in such a use of ASCII art are without
|
||
|
|
imagination and are consequently, not human
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
4. That they are in fact slime and should be treated accordingly.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
5. That such treatment should include constant harassment and verbatim
|
||
|
|
quoting of their inner monologues.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
6. That those who profess the idea of QUALITY within the spectrum of
|
||
|
|
ASCII art have already missed the point.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
7. That as having already missed the point they are not likely to see it
|
||
|
|
ever.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
8. That being so blinded they are useless.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
9. That the useless should be taken out and shot.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
10. That the useless are primarily categorized as those who are to be
|
||
|
|
found on #ascii.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
11. That by de facto association, all those in #ansi and all those who
|
||
|
|
were once, or are currently, members of ANSI groups should also be
|
||
|
|
shot and buried in a mass grave beneath the mountains of Machu Pichu.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
12. That ASCII is the ultimate means of geek expression.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
13. That those who deny its power should be thrown down and stomped upon.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
14. That those who mock its power should be viciously satirized in the
|
||
|
|
very medium they mock, particularly by using crude and grotesque
|
||
|
|
manifestations of their bodily defects. For instance by drawing a
|
||
|
|
large nose as such:
|
||
|
|
____
|
||
|
|
| 0 |
|
||
|
|
| |\\
|
||
|
|
| - | \\
|
||
|
|
|____| \\
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
(HEAD) (NOSE)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
15. That the use of parenthetical labels beneath unclear ASCII is not a
|
||
|
|
crime or an impurity of form.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
16. That the form, as being made up the very symbols which form words,
|
||
|
|
should not be opposed to the use of labels.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
17. That abstraction is not necessarily the best nor the worst of
|
||
|
|
technique.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
18. That ASCII is not ANSI.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
19. That it should not be treated as ANSI.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
20. That those who would treat it as ANSI should be shot.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
21. That those who would become infuriated at the shooting of those who
|
||
|
|
treat ASCII as ANSI should also be shot.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
22. That once these offenders are shot, grotesque and crudely formed
|
||
|
|
ASCII drawings of their deaths should be passed out at their
|
||
|
|
funerals.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
23. That their graves should be pissed upon.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
24. That #ascii should be subject to botnet wars and hostile takeovers
|
||
|
|
and the like until these scum realize the fallacy of their ways.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
25. That ASCII is how men become gods.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
26. That girls such as Metalchic should be viciously parodied for having
|
||
|
|
big boobs, such as:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
O - HI. MY NAME IS MELISSA
|
||
|
|
| I SEEK THE DRAGOLANCE
|
||
|
|
/ \ AND ALSO DICKS SHAPED
|
||
|
|
/ \ LIKE THE DRAGONLANCE
|
||
|
|
( 0 ) ( 0 ) SO THAT THEY MAY BE PLACED
|
||
|
|
| | BETWEEN MY GIGANTIC DRAGONORB
|
||
|
|
\ / SHAPED TITTIES AND MADE TO
|
||
|
|
/ \ EJACULATE ON MY FACE AND NECK.
|
||
|
|
| || |
|
||
|
|
| || |
|
||
|
|
| || |
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
27. That the inclusion of dialogue is a healthy and necessary technique
|
||
|
|
in the crafting of ASCII art.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
28. That swisspope is a bitch.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
29. That ASCII is the finest and purest distillation of man's efforts to
|
||
|
|
reach the empyreal heavens.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
30. That all important social events and historical happenings are
|
||
|
|
irrelevant unless immortalized in an ASCII depiction.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
31. That this does not imply ASCII is a political medium.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
32. Nor does it imply that ASCII is apolitical.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
33. That RottenZ is also a bitch.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
34. That had all the recognize artists of the world been allowed to use
|
||
|
|
ASCII as a form of expression they would have abandoned all tangible
|
||
|
|
mediums and fore sworn physical representation.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
35. That I didn't do nothing wrong with the yellow gal.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
36. That the yellow gal is in fact a bitch.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
37. That I would draw a crude ASCII representation of her genitalia if it
|
||
|
|
wasn't such a played out idea.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
38. That having a girlfriend in high school makes one want to draw in
|
||
|
|
ASCII.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
39. That French poet Guilliame Apollinaire is the patron saint of all
|
||
|
|
ASCII artists and they would be best served to read CALIGRAMMES.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
40. That war is hell.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
41. That to KEEP IT REAL in ascii is to forswear ever drawing a
|
||
|
|
representation of J.R. Bob Dobbs, emoticons, zany faces which appear
|
||
|
|
to be peering over a fence constructed with underscores or minus
|
||
|
|
signs, gigantic dollar signs, and other common USENET ascii
|
||
|
|
apparitions.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
42. That the high and mighty ASCII gods of the earth will be thrown down
|
||
|
|
and forced to roll in their own dung.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
43. That ASCII is not the devil's playground.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
44. That there should always be receptive places to show ASCII.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
45. That is the sign of a sick society if the said society does not
|
||
|
|
embrace ASCII and give it gallery space at the drop of a hat.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
46. That the only cure for this sick society is violent revolution.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
47. That the power figures of the same sick society shall be parodied in
|
||
|
|
crude and revolting forms of ASCII, such as:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
\\\\/////
|
||
|
|
\ /
|
||
|
|
|0 -|
|
||
|
|
_| |_
|
||
|
|
/ || \
|
||
|
|
( -----0 ) - I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS
|
||
|
|
\_______ / WITH THAT WOMAN, MONICA LEWINSKY.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
48. That a black snake is creeping in my room.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
49. That God should strike people down who claim mp3s are CD-quality.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
50. That it is hard to be broke.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
51. That a good woman is hard to find.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
52. That the hardest thing I ever done was to find a weary woman to ease
|
||
|
|
my worried mind.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
53. That if I take a notion to jump in to the ocean, it ain't nobody's
|
||
|
|
business if I do.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
54. That if my friend ain't got no money and I swear "Take all my mine
|
||
|
|
honey", it ain't nobody's business if I do.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
55. That if I swear I won't call no copper if I'm beat up by my poppa, it
|
||
|
|
ain't nobody's business if I do.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
56. That there is an eye in the sky and it is watching.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
57. That ASCII is the way to make all young girls scream.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
58. That's it a shame I have to live this way.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
59. That I can't be satisfied.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
60. That only ASCII will be the healing salve, the UNDEAD URGENT, placed
|
||
|
|
upon my soul's wounds.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
61. That only ASCII will lift me up and deliver me from this modern
|
||
|
|
world.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
62. That on the wings of ASCII I will into glory ride.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
63. That 96 tears are too many tears for one heart to be crying.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
64. That the vomit tongue kiss is perhaps the most disgusting thing one
|
||
|
|
person can endure.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
65. That ASCII will bring mana to the working man and feed him on
|
||
|
|
ambrosia and nectar while ANSI will only bring him pain and hunger
|
||
|
|
and toil without reward.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
66. That it shall be hard for you to kick against the pricks.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
67. That I should thank you for the tea and sympathy.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
68. That in the heart of the ASCII world tree there is a unified spirit
|
||
|
|
of theoretical love called GAIA.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
69. That this GAIA is the mayor of ASCII town.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
70. That drug dealers who would make profit in ASCII TOWN are subject to
|
||
|
|
being locked in a metal cage on the lawn of town hall.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
71. That GAIA loves those who create new ASCII.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
72. That love is the greatest single weapon we have against itself.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
73. That ASCII can be used to depict love.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
74. That ASCII is love.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
75. That ASCII is the only key to the lock of the human soul.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
76. That ASCII ART IS THE UNDILUTED SOUL OF THE HUMAN HEART.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
77. THAT 96 TEARS ARE TOO MANY TEARS FOR THAT HEART TO BE CRYING.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
78. THAT INSTEAD IT SHALL CRY 95 TEARS.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
79. THAT THESE 95 TEARS WILL BE THE 95 THESES ON ASCII OUTSIDER ART.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
80. THAT IT WOULD BE WOEFULLY UNJUST FOR THOSE HIGH AND MIGHTY OF THE
|
||
|
|
ASCII EARTH TO IGNORE THE 95 TEARS OF THE ASCII HEART.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
81. THAT THOSE WHO IGNORE THE 95 TEARS OF THE ASCII HEART WILL BE
|
||
|
|
DESTROYED.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
82. THAT THE TEARS WILL FLOW OVER THOSE WHO HEED THEM WITH A CLEANSING
|
||
|
|
GRACE AND PURIFY THEIR SOULS.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
83. THAT THOSE PURE OF SOUL WILL BE PURE OF HEART.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
84. THAT THOSE WHO ARE PURE OF HEART WILL BE ABLE TO SYNCHRONIZE THEIR
|
||
|
|
HEART BEAT TO THE THUMPING OF THE ASCII ART HEART.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
85. THAT THE 95 TEARS SHALL BE THE AS THEIR OWN TEARS.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
86. THAT THE CRYING WILL BINGE AND PURGE THEM OF ALL IMPERFECTION.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
87. THAT GOD SHALL COME DOWN FROM THE HEAVENS ON A CHARIOT OF FIRE.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
88. THAT HE WILL SHOW THAT I PROPHESEE IMPERFECTLY, THROUGH A GLASS
|
||
|
|
DARKLY.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
89. THAT HE WILL FORGIVE ME MY SINS.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
90. THAT HE HIMSELF SHALL WIPE AWAY MY TEARS.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
91. THAT HE WILL REVEAL TO ME THE TRUE WAY OF ASCII.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
92. THAT HE WILL APPRECIATE MY ASCII ART.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
93. THAT HE WILL CASTIGATE THOSE WHO MOCK IT TO THE LOWEST REGIONS OF
|
||
|
|
HELL.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
94. THAT THEY WILL BURN IN THESE REGIONS UNTIL THEIR SINEW IS MADE FLESH
|
||
|
|
AND THEIR FLESH IS MADE BONE.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
95. THAT HE WILL REVEAL TO ME THE TRUE NATURE OF ART AND THAT IT WILL
|
||
|
|
LOOK LIKE THIS:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
____
|
||
|
|
(____) -- COWABUNGA!
|
||
|
|
\||/
|
||
|
|
:(.)(,):
|
||
|
|
:(.)(.): \
|
||
|
|
:(.)(.): \
|
||
|
|
| \
|
||
|
|
/ \ \
|
||
|
|
(TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE) \
|
||
|
|
\
|
||
|
|
\ +
|
||
|
|
[0 0] --- TRANSFORM AND ROLL
|
||
|
|
--- OUT
|
||
|
|
--- ||----
|
||
|
|
| |
|
||
|
|
| |
|
||
|
|
| |
|
||
|
|
________
|
||
|
|
() ()
|
||
|
|
(TRANSFORMER!)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
/
|
||
|
|
/
|
||
|
|
/
|
||
|
|
| /
|
||
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
| (.) -- BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL
|
||
|
|
|/----\
|
||
|
|
+ ( )
|
||
|
|
||
|
||
|
|
- -
|
||
|
|
(HE-MAN)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
\
|
||
|
|
\
|
||
|
|
\
|
||
|
|
\
|
||
|
|
\
|
||
|
|
\
|
||
|
|
\
|
||
|
|
() ()
|
||
|
|
I'D LIKE TO BE KNOWN --- +
|
||
|
|
AS THE FARMING PRESIDENT /\/\/\/\
|
||
|
|
(JIMMY CARTER)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
a private letter of publique use
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
** AIDZZ (aids@hoe.nu) has joined #ascii
|
||
|
|
*** Users on #ascii: AIDZZ, dngrmouse, blk_jack, two11two, mojoMMC,
|
||
|
|
sekwence, mry0y0, DrLego, eufanasia, Drax, HILFIGER,
|
||
|
|
@t-bob, @Vissago, genius-, ewheat, Cthulu, spinsy,
|
||
|
|
@cmang, F7, @spear|fx, phriend-, @R00STER, abstrakt,
|
||
|
|
cat-dog, shizumaru, tkz, arcade_, B0AR, cm4ang,
|
||
|
|
tee_away, @nMANCEr, aeternam
|
||
|
|
<AIDZZ> yo what's up ASCII niggas?
|
||
|
|
<AIDZZ> I just want you bitches to know
|
||
|
|
<mojoMMC> huh?
|
||
|
|
<AIDZZ> your time is up
|
||
|
|
<AIDZZ> and the ASCII OUTSIDER ART movement has started
|
||
|
|
<eufanasia> is it?
|
||
|
|
<eufanasia> has it?
|
||
|
|
<AIDZZ> I have nailed the 95 theses to your church door
|
||
|
|
<mojoMMC> your nick is AIDZZ
|
||
|
|
<AIDZZ> and you are no more
|
||
|
|
<mojoMMC> thats stupid
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
||
|
|
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #960, BY AIDS - 12/14/99 ]
|