70 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
70 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
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$$$$
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$$$$T""P$$$ba, ,gd&P""T&bg. ,gd&P""T&bg.
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ggggggggggg $$$$ $$$$$b d$$$$ $$$$b d$$$$ $$$$$b ggggggggggg
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""""""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P """""""""""
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$$$$ $$$$$$ T$$$$ $$$$P T$$$$
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$$$"""""" " """" $$$$$$ "T&$bxxd$&P" "T&$bxx$$$$$' " """"""$$$
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""" """""" """
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ggg "Girls Kick Ass, Mine Anyways" ggg
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$$$ by -> Weirdfreak $$$
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$$$ $$$
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$$$ (* HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #920 -- 11/30/99 *) .,$$$
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`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
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Recently, I have become known as the "Tom Green" of my school. Is
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this good? I'm not quite sure yet. The "title" come with allot of
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hardships and responsibilities. I do shit nobody else has the balls to.
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It's all in good fun though. Well, some times it doesn't turn out so fun.
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I will be telling you about two such experiences. Both dealing with girls
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ending up hitting/smacking me. Enjoy...
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*** Case 1: The Arabian Cow Killer
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I was on the bus home from school one afternoon and I had the urge
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to annoy somebody. I looked around, and I saw my target. Somebody had
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leather on the bottom of their back pack. So do I, but who cares. I
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leaned over the seat and said, "Do you know how many cows died for your
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back pack?". He had no clue what I was talking about. I then started
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rambling nonstop about the poor baby cows and how they bled on the grass
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for his back pack. He was getting pissed. I had to go further though. I
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sat back in my seat and chanted, "Cow Killer". I said it 15 - 20 times
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and I noticed his sister was getting pissed. I didn't care, I just kept
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on saying it. Then, out of no where, she jumped up and started swatting
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at me. I was like "It was a joke! What the fuck are you doing!?!". Then I
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remembered about the cow being sacred to the Muslims. I felt bad... nah,
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it was still funny. Things settled down, but she started swatting at me
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again when I got off the bus. It was crazy.. but all in the name of fun.
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:)
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Lesson Learned: Dead cows piss off Arabian chicks!
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*** Case 2: The Quarter Hoe Turns Me Down
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Yet again, I was on the bus ride home. This time I wasn't in a
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really "annoy people mood"... ok, just not as much as normal. A whole
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bunch of people were arguing about some girl and some doods sister and
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some shit. There was yelling and all sorts of shit. I don't get involved
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with those matters, but I do listen. Shit man, it's a long ride home. It
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was dull as fuck, until I heard something I could use... "Then why you be
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givin' head fo' a cota?". In case you not down with the "jive" that
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translates too, "They why did you give oral sex to somebody for a
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quarter?". Make more sense? I thought so. Any ways, I fished around my
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pockets and found it... A nice shiny quarter. I had to wait for the right
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moment. It got quit for a second so I stood over the seat, a flashed it
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at her... "I gotta quarter right here for you baby!". Then it came! Five
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punches to my head. That didn't hurt though, the worst part was she
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crunched my soda can and it got on my new cargo pants, along with wasting
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half the soda! She was so mad... but it was all in the name of fun...
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right?
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Lesson Learned: Quarter Hoes don't always do it for a quarter!
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*** Kudos go out to Ryan and Justin for keepin' me sane on the bus
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and always providing me with shit to piss people off!
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Latez!
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #920, WRITTEN BY WEIRDFREAK - 11/30/99 ]
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