71 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
71 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #859
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Out to Lunch"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Phairgirl
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 9/28/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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I turn onto the on-ramp, wishing that son of a bitch in the slowass
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Caravan would've been travelling two miles an hour slower so that I might
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not have had to wait for him to go ahead of me at the previous stop sign. I
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ride his ass until I hit the other lane, doing 70 before I even have the
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chance to decide how close to the speed limit I'm going to travel today.
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I'm too lazy to plug in the discman today. Instead, it's good old
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97.3 KGRR, the only independent radio station left in this damn town. Sure,
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there's another classic rock station in town, but they're not playing
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"Bungle in the Jungle" right now, they NEVER play "Bungle in the Jungle,"
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and so it's not worth pushing the seek button... ever. And who cares what
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the next song might be, because more than likely it's going to be something
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decent. If not, I might magically become unlazy and plug in that discman
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after all.
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It takes approximately 2.5 seconds to travel the overpass, as all
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overpasses in large 60,000 metropolises like Dubuque take. I pull into
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Arby's, where I've never eaten in my life until yesterday when I discovered
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Jalepeno Bites, and pick up another round for today. They're so friendly
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there. I wish I was friendly. Instead, I paid completely in change. They
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hate me there.
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I feel quite disturbed, as I realize Nine Inch Nails just came out
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with a new album and I didn't buy it yet. This is what is commonly known as
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"heresy" in many social circles with whom I associate. I don't care. All
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the new shit I've heard so far was horrid. Bush has a new album coming out.
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I am frightened. Foo Fighters has a new album coming out. I much like Foo.
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Dream Theater has a new album coming out. All I can wish is for anything on
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that disc to be half as good as "Space-Dye Vest" was. I'm holding my
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breath, as I've been holding, ever since Kevin Moore left the band.
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I spin around back onto that familiar overpass. There's a train
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travelling alongside me. How can the people at Arby's hear anything in
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their drive-thru with that awful blasting horn and rumbling of the tracks
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right there? I suppose that's not for me to worry about, but I do anyway,
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being as my only other concern is the Jetta that is travelling the speed
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limit in the left lane in front of me. That bitch finally moves over, and I
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finally pass the four vehicles clogging the right lane before my exit 2.5
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seconds later. Yet, another slowpoke on the exit almost forces me to hit
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them. It's a game, they're all fucking with my head. They want my brakes
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to give out, as close as they are to doing so already. They want the
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insurance money. They want to trade their wreck for a Beemer.
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The world is depressing me. There seems to be no geniuses left...
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all the geniuses have let their minds rot and die. Queensryche just
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released the most disappointing record of their career. Rush's last album
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had that awful cheesy song about the Internet. Everything is so bland. I
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thought Drain s.t.h. was incredible, but after listening to their new album
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a few million times, I realize they're just females ripping off Stabbing
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Westward, with only slightly less lyrical quality and slightly heavier
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riffs. Where am I to look for the next big thing? Why won't Dream Theater
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and Liz Phair improve with age? Why do I own over 650 CDs? Is there
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anything worth listening to besides 97.3 anymore? Is "Bungle in the Jungle"
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the closest I will ever get to hearing brilliance again?
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And where the fuck is my Bronco Berry sauce?
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #859 - WRITTEN BY: PHAIRGIRL - 9/28/99 ]
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