textfiles/magazines/HOE/hoe-0743.txt

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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #743
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888            "The Head Game That Went Bad
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8          and Turned Out Better"
    888     888 888      888 888    "               by XxX_Droo7
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o              7/22/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        Okay.  So it's the night after I got that action I spoke about
 before (HOE #668).  Once again I find myself at Harvey's for the follow up
 jammy jam.  This is the night of one of Harvey's most memorable parties.
 Sadly, it was the last he had at his home.  Now I was all pumped up from
 last night's events.  So I was gonna play this night like the previous.  I
 wasn't gonna try to get with any chicks cuz I would more than likely get
 let down and it would bum me out.  

        Tonight had an entirely different scenerio goin' on.  There was this
 chick from online, Siobhan, going to be there.   Just a real quick
 explaination on her name.  At First I thoguht she was Indian.  Siobhan just
 looks totally hindu to me.  Turns out its an Irish name pronounced shi-vhan.
 I was enlightened the day I learned this.  Ok, back to the groovey story...
 Now I would screw with this girl's mind online all the time.  Yes, it was a
 complete dick thing to do, but she always come back for more.  I never
 chased her down and tormented her.  I think she kind of dug it.

        I really wanted to meet this girl in person.  I just wanted to scope
 her out and see what I was dealing with.  Supposedly she wasn't 400 pounds
 and ugly.  Not that I was expecting a hottie, but hey, I had hopes.   She
 knew me and Harvey were good friends and she wasn't big on hanging out with
 computer geeks.  So with those two items working against me, I had to
 concoct a plan on getting her to be there.  Now the goals of the plan were
 simple at first, but they soon grew more complex.  At first I was just
 wanted her to go to the party.  But in the modified version of the plan, the
 goal was to try and hook up with her at the party.  Sure that doesn't seem
 like it would mean much, but this girl totally wouldn't do that sort of
 thing with me if she knew who I truly was.  So I took on an alias.  I was to
 be known as Barry Willis, and Jess (Crimson) was to tell Siobhan all about
 Barry Willis online and to try and convince her that Barry was this dude she
 really needed to meet.

        Siobhan tookay the bait.  She was going to be at the party.  We
 weren't in the clear yet.  Everyone at the party had to be in on it also.
 If anyone called me droo, the jig would be up.  So I made sure I arrived
 early enuf to let people know they needed to call me Barry.  And to ensure
 things would be good, I was introduced as Barry to people I never met
 before.  Everything was good to go.

        Just to inform you, the key players in this story are: Barry Willis
 <me>, Siobhan, Harvey, Jess, Keith, Dan, and Dave.  You people already know
 who everyone is except Dan & Dave.  Now these dudes I knew from hangin' out
 in Chuck's parents coffee house in Jackson.  They were cool to chill with.
 I brought them up to the party along with Don and Chuck D.  But that isn't
 important.  What important is the events that were to unfold.

        Everything was goin' on good.  The party was just right.  Lots of
 people showed and everyone was having a good time.  I was doin' my usual
 thing messin' with people and shit.  Just entertaining myself.  I recall a
 few stoners Harvey knew from work showed up.  I was really inclined to mess
 with their heads a bit.  So a went into the kitchen and broke up a
 wint-o-green lifemint and wrapped a couple of the pieces up in plastic wrap
 to make it look like crack.  I'm a COPS addict, so I know how this shit was
 supposed to look.  Anyway, I stroll outside onto the patio with my "rock"
 and proceed with my act.  I pulled it out and offered it to the stoners
 hoping at least one would be into it and then we'd have a big ol laff when
 they grabbed and smelled what it was.  But that was no go, so I hadda make
 like I was high on it.  They gave me some crazy looks.  So it wasn't half
 bad.  Ooh.  I almost forgot the point of this story: Siobhan.

        Now Keith was drunk out of his mind.  I think he was trying to get
 with this really ugly chick there.  Anyway, he knew about the plan and for
 some idiotic reason he thought that I had to tell Siobhan who I really was.
 So we're standing in the hall and he's grabbin' me and shit sayin' I gotta
 tell her who I am.  Then he grabs me by the neck and throws me on the stairs
 and at that point I figured I should dop it before he cracks me in two.  To
 sum things up, I told her.  I forgot what he rreaction was, but it fucked up
 my whole intent.  At this point things got twisted.  .  .  .

        Somehow she winds up outside sitting on a picnic table between Dan &
 Dave.  I was over there chillin' by them and before I knew she was makin'
 out with them both.  Turning one way and then the other.  I was just like,
 "Ohhhh shit.  That is some crazy dope stuff."  A few minutes later all three
 of them tookay a walk down the street by themselves.  Now what was to happen
 next was the craziest shit to ever occur.

        The phone rang and it was her mother looking for her.  She wanted her
 home right then.  Why? I have no clue.  Her and her family were obviously
 nut jobs.  So me and some other people set out to find them.  I was walking
 with Jess down the street on the sidewalk.  Just a few houses down we get to
 a tree and come across Dan, Dave, and Siobhan underneath a tree on someone's
 front lawn.  We didn't see them until the jumped up off the lawn.  Scared
 the hell out of me when they did it.  All I saw was all 3 of them grabbin'
 their pants.  Turns out she was fuckin' both of them.  I was like "Siobhan,
 your mom called.  She wants you to go home."  I was in total shock of what
 was goin' on.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  She started freakin' and was
 fumbling with her pants.  They were all sorts of tangled on themself.  She
 gets her clothes back and runs to her car and droves home.

        So me, Jess, Dan & Dave head back up to Harvey's front porch area and
 hang out.  I'm tryin' to get the scoop on what happened but they didn't
 really give it all up.  I did notice that Dan's shirt was wet from like his
 waist down.  It turns out Siobhan pissed on him when they were on the grass.
 Very gross if you ask me.  A few minutes later, her dad shows up looking for
 her.  We told her she already left, and he soon did the same thing.

        That's about it.  My plan was a bit of a success.  Didn't turn out
 the way it was supposed to, but turned out better.  I didn't get action that
 night either.  Not again for about another two years.  .  .

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #743 - WRITTEN BY: XXX_DROO7 - 7/22/99 ]