47 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
47 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #653
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "The Sea Witch, aka
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 The Seventh Son of a Seventh Son"
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Ashtray Heart
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/22/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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Let me tell you about a customer at my brother's place of
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employment. The reason Paul knows his name is because he has a nice little
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name tag, which proudly proclaims him "Sea Witch, Seventh Son of a Seventh
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Son". Apparently he's unrelated to the Sea Hag of Popeye cartoons.
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The Sea Witch's uncle owned the car the little girl landed on in
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"The Omen". Also, you know how all the double agents are being killed in
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Russia? That's him doing it. You see, as the Sea Witch, the Seventh Son
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of a Seventh Son, he can be in seven different dimensions at one time.
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And in fact, a UFO landed in his front yard just last week. So he took
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himself and President Clinton and President Reagan and put them in a
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dimension with the guy with slicked-back hair and the green turned-up
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collar. You know the guy with the slicked-back hair and the green
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turned-up collar, don't you? Of course you do. And actually, he won the
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election for the Clintons last time, because Bill and Hilary flew in on a
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helicopter and asked for help. So what he did is he took a bunch of young
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girls and he took 'em out to Ballard High School and he fed 'em to snakes.
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He didn't like doing it, but you know, that's what you gotta do to win an
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election. Also, you know the character "Bane" from "Batman and Robin",
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played by Jeep Swenson? Well, he was in the book of Revelations, and he
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came to destroy the world.
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The Sea Witch only rents war movies, and he has this strange way of
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talking. Like the neighbor on Beavis and Butthead. Tom, or something. He
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didn't like the Walking Dead, because it was all about black soldiers. The
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Seventh Son of a Seventh Son is a white guy. An old white guy. He looks
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kind of like your grandfather, if your grandfather is skinny and not dead
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yet.
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That's all we know so far about the Sea Witch, the Seventh Son of a
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Seventh Son. More updates as we get 'em.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #653-WRITTEN BY: ASHTRAY HEART-5/22/99 ]
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