120 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
120 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #416 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "A Package For a Girl" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Styx !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/10/99 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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Dear Melanie,
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I am running on 3 hours of sleep so don't expect any of this to
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make sense. I've got a big container full of coffee in front of me that
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I brought here to work but I forgot that coffee makes me sick. Infact,
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most things I eat or drink make me sick. My stomach hates everything
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besides vodka, nicotine, and tangerines. Um.. I only said tangerines
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because it rhymed with nicotine. I'm not complaining. I wish I could
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go to sleep. I'm still not complaining.
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I barely remember anything that's happened in the past year. It's
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really unnerving. I feel like I'm finally waking up from _something_, I
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just hope I won't want to go back to sleep afterwards.
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I think that if you get flattered too much, you start to think you
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can do no wrong. I'm not so sure flattery is such a good thing anymore.
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An old friend of mine just stopped by to say hi. I wonder if he
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feels better? I hate it when people do that.
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"MATT!!! say something HAPPY!!!"
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You know what would make me happy right this second? Being with
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somebody that's capable of maintaining comfortable silences. For
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instance, let's say I have a friend/girlfriend over and he/she is
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sitting on my bed watching TV and I am sitting on the floor putting new
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strings on my guitar, or *whatever*, and neither of us are talking or
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even making eye-contact, yet we both feel secure enough in our
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relationship that neither of us care. He/she enjoys the TV and I enjoy
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my new guitar strings and both of us are content just to be in each
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other's presence. That would be the best fucking relationship in the
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world, but I doubt anybody is capable. Hell, I've never seen it; not
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in friends or girlfriends or boyfriends or fathers or anything.
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People are so wrapped up in the trivial details of their
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relationships instead of being concerned about the important things. A
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relationship is _two people co-existing comfortably_. That's all. It's
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that simple. When one person begins to feel uncomfortable, the
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relationship ends. That's all. It's that simple. Anything else is
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irrelevant.
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That's _all_. It's _that simple_.
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Until you find somebody that you're consistently comfortable with,
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all you're doing is playing the game. The worst part about it is that
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it's necessary and inevitable. You either play the little games or
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you're alone. I'm not sure which is worse.
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Maybe the worst thing is to play the game _and_ be alone. You do
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the whole socializing bit and you surround yourself with your boring,
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shallow, useless friends, but you still end up alone at the end of the
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night anyway and you do it on purpose.
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I'm _still_ not complaining.
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I'm progressing past all of this; at least, I've taken the first
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few steps. "All is fair in love and war." Whoever said that was right.
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If things don't work out, you step right over it. It isn't callous or
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heartless, it's just making sure that you come out of things alright.
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The _last_ thing it is is "selfish," quote unquote. Since when did
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self-preservation become self-ish, anyway? I must've missed that
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meeting.
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It's too bad everyone is such a physical whore. Most relationships
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I've witnessed _began_ with sex. What the hell? Isn't sex sacred
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anymore? Whatever happened to our priorities and morals? There's
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barely anyone left.
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What gets me the most are the people who wait two or three weeks
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before having sex with each other and they think they're hot shit for
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waiting that long; no, they're just as disgusting as the people who fuck
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on the first day. The only difference is the time. I'm not saying
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there's a specific time frame that applies to every relationship as far
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as when having sex goes, but three weeks? That's called being a whore
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in my world.
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I wish I could just go home and sleep. I'm so tired.
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You know, in the relationship I had before, we waited _twenty-two_
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months before sleeping with each other. It was because we had morals
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and stable priorities. As cataclysmic as the relationship turned out to
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be in the end, we *always* respected ourselves and each other when it
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came to sex. That doesn't mean I'm better than anyone else, but shit,
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maybe it does. Can you think of any guy you know that would wait
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twenty-two months, Melanie?
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Yet it seems that once somebody loses their virginity, they feel
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that there's no more sense in waiting with anybody else. They've
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already had sex so there's no boundaries; it's easy, now. Idiots! They
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just don't understand and they never will because they're too busy
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fucking people and watching TV to stop for a moment and _think_. AIDS
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is a blessing. I praise it for knocking these assholes off (credit;
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Jeff Koyen).
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You think Montel Williams is going to keep your legs shut, Melanie?
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How about music? Your poetry? Mommy? You act on instinct without
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second thought, just like the rest of them.
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So here's your fucking package I promised to send. Enclosed with
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this letter is ground sirloin steak sealed in a ziplock bag. Take a
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long, hard look at it, Melanie, because that's all you've made yourself
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out to be -- raw meat. I've named it "human." Take care of it, and
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don't let it spoil! Spoiled humans give off a foul scent...
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- Matt
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #416, WRITTEN BY: STYX - 1/10/99 !!
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