textfiles/magazines/HOE/hoe-0388.txt

 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #388 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "True Story"                             !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Isaac                              !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/28/98                                 !!
 !!========================================================================!!

        There was this person that lived by this river. And, it would go
 down by this river to go deep into thought. The place was beautiful,
 all perfect and everything, and this person had alot of little animal
 friends that would come to him.

        One day, the sky was kind of cloudy, foggy, and misty. The
 person still went down to the river for their daily thinking time and
 it was very beautiful outside but everything was so very still.  Then,
 all of a sudden on the other side of the river there was a bit of a
 rustling noise and it startled this person. They took out some
 binoculars and looked across the river and they couldn't quite make
 out what it was. The rustling noise soon stopped, so the person went
 on with their thoughts and went upon their day.

        The next day, the person went back, of course, and the weather
 was the same, and again, at the same time, there was that damn rustling
 noise, but twice the length and volume and this really struck this
 person's curiousity. All the person could make out this time was some
 animal looking thing well this continued for the next days, increasing
 in volume and length each day. Also, the person noticed all it's animal
 friends had started to disappear and finally one day, this person was
 able to make out a brown fuzzy spot, from all the rustling and so the
 next day, the person had to see what it was. So, when the rustling
 started, it took off it's shoes, rolled up it's pants, and wadded across
 the river and when it got to the other side it saw these little monkeys
 all mating like mad!

        This surprized the person, as well as the monkeys, and the
 monkeys stopped and looked at this person. There was at least a hundred
 tiny blue monkeys. Then, one monkey stepped out of the crowd of monkeys
 and said "!##XSDFKWEI# AKSDI#SF*@#SND" and this person, being the
 genius, was able to translate this, which was "are you a monkey too?"
 and the person responded "ASDLKS @#%)(SD" ("no no, well yes") and the
 person started to go about how man came from monkeys and so on. The
 monkeys, having no clue that the man was not a monkey, started to mate
 with the person, and the person, being terrified, started to run. It
 just ran into the river, followed by the monkeys, some hanging onto it,
 faundling and humping all the way. By the time the person got home, it
 had gotten all the horny monkeys off of itself.

        The person wasn't going to let the damn monkeys get in the way of
 its daily meditation. So, the person returned to this river the next
 day and by now the rustling noises were so loud, it was unbarable. The
 person decided they would go back over the river, and beg the monkeys
 to go away or something. So the person, again, wadded arcross the river
 and the monkeys, of course, were still going at it, and now there were
 even more, and the person said. "sdlkjsdflk ASDOIFSDM@#ASDLKFJ#Q(SFJSDFN
 Sdfksdflkjsd sfmnsdlkuf" ("I'd like to know where you came from, and why
 you are mating like mad, and why are you here?") and again, a monkey
 stepped out of the crowd, but this monkey was much larger, red instead
 of blue, and it had a huge bright pink penis and enormous testicles and
 said "ASLKJD@#R*)SDF lksdjflksd QR*OYS*VYXVJDSDFJLKS ,jljlkfsjdfoi23klmf
 lksj23WFIOSF*Y@#Nn  sdf lkj sd l..." ("we are the next generation of
 living species, you yourself said that man came from monkeys, well, man
 is about to die off soon, so we must mate like mad, to develope a large
 enough generation of monkeys, so that they can live on to devolope back
 into humans, and by that time, all the existing humans will be gone").

        The man just stared at the monkey in awe and the large red monkey
 goes on..."you see, monkeys have always had the control over everything.
 We are what humans call god., except they think it's just some man who
 lives up in the clouds, but all along monkeys have been the real god.
 We control everything. We decide what the next generatoin of humans
 will be.  Right now we are devoloping a hornier geration of monkeys,
 they will over populate, and then die off sooner, so we get to fuck
 more, and create more generations" The person just stood there and then
 the large red monkey said "well, if you are going to just stand there,
 than we will go on, may we use you?"

        So, from then on, after person had gone mentally insane, the
 monkeys used it as a sex slave and the person was granted immortality
 by the monkey gods. When the generation of horny monkeys devoloped
 into actual people, well, just look around you, we are them.

        To this day, no one knows what happened to all its little animal
 friends.

 !!========================================================================!!
 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!      #388 - WRITTEN BY: ISAAC - 12/28/98 !!