56 lines
2.3 KiB
Plaintext
56 lines
2.3 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
||
|
|
$$$$$$$$$$$
|
||
|
|
$$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #185
|
||
|
|
$$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt.
|
||
|
|
$$$$P $$$$ x$$$$
|
||
|
|
$$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$.
|
||
|
|
$$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$
|
||
|
|
$$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$'
|
||
|
|
$$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P'
|
||
|
|
$$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %%
|
||
|
|
$$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %%
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
>> "A Super Cool Way to Kill Yourself" <<
|
||
|
|
by -> Sighrik
|
||
|
|
(The Sandley Family Special -- Part 3!)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Okay... so there you are, wallowing in your puddle of angst -- and
|
||
|
|
you're tired of it. I've got good news for you though -- there's finally a
|
||
|
|
way out.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
I was talking to a biology-minded friend the other night, and, during
|
||
|
|
the course of the conversation, it was revealed to me that there are blood
|
||
|
|
vessels (arteries & veins!@!) in the tongue.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
What does this have to do with you? Here's what you can do: Go kill
|
||
|
|
yourself.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
You'll need:
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
(a) your tongue.
|
||
|
|
(b) a drinking fountain.
|
||
|
|
(c) a sharp knife.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
That's it. Ready?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Go to the drinking fountain. Pretend that you're getting a drink of
|
||
|
|
water, that way no one will realize that you're going to kill yourself.
|
||
|
|
Now, and this is the important part, cut your tongue off with the sharp
|
||
|
|
knife.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
ANOTHER VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: Make sure you keep the bloody stump
|
||
|
|
continuously immersed under water -- if you don't, it will start to clot,
|
||
|
|
and you won't die.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Remember, don't be obvious. If someone guesses you're trying to kill
|
||
|
|
yourself, they might try to stop you. That isn't what we want.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
And, just in case you can't pull it off, don't let it get you down.
|
||
|
|
Something good did come out of it: we can't listen to your damn fool
|
||
|
|
angst-ridden complaining anymore, you stupid fucking tongueless dipshit.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
|
* (c) HoE publications. HoE #185 -- written by Sighrik -- 1/13/98 *
|