68 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
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$$$$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #130
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$$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt.
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$$$$P $$$$ x$$$$
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$$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$.
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$$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$'
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$$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P'
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$$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %%
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$$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %%
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>> "How to Kill Your Roommate and Frame Her Fat Friends" <<
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by -> Muze
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Someone posed a really stupid question today on my radio show. "If
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7-11's are open 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?"
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OHMYGOD! I thought. Doors aren't made without locks. Especially
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business doors. Fuckin' idiot.
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And why do people always talk about how they're gonna do all this
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stuff and "Oh, it's going to be so great" and then two hours later they're
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doing something so detrimental to the original plan that you feel they need
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to be shot. Well, go shoot them. I give you permission. When the judge
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asks why you did it, just tell them "Muze told me to, she said it was OK."
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The judge should let you off with about 10 years prison time. People
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always get pissed at me cuz I won't play their game. You know, smile and be
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happy no matter what's thrown your way. Act appropriatly. Me? I'm sas all
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the time, well, not _all_ the time, but mostly. I'm not goth, people mistake
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me for goth, but I don't want to pretend I'm dead. People get mad at me cuz
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I don't get all happy for them when something good happens for/to them. I'm
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selfish I guess. I need to care about the person to be happy for them.
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The longer I stay in shcool, the dumber I feel. School is supposed
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to make you smarter. I'm not Polish, so it must be the schools fault, it
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_is_ a Catholic school. At least they don't try to make me go to church or
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anything.
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I'm pissed off. I went to grab my dictionary yesterday and my hand
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stuck to it. "This isn't right," I thought. I picked it up and it had
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sticky orange spots all over it. So I looked in the corner it was in to
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investigate. There was orange soda spilled all over my stuff, books, coffee,
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coffee pot, electrical cords and sockets, old keyboard that used to work but
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doesn't anymore thanks to my bitch ass roommate and her fat friends. I asked
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her about it and of course she knows nothing, but she'll ask her friends
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about it. They probably know nothing too. I'm gonna charge them to use my
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computer. $5 a week, every Monday, no money, keyboard gets locked.
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I know this is anal, but I want to kill my roommate, so maybe I can
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kill her by making her walk to the computer lab, she'll either waste away to
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nothing, or freeze to death when she can't get her fat ass out of the snow
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banks that pile up around the dorms because this is the Midwest. I think
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what I'll do is borrow a bunch of stuffed animals from friends and tie
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nooses around their necks. Then I'll hang them all over the room. Then I
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sit in a corner holding my knees to my chest rocking and looking up at the
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hanged animals saying "You shouldn't have done that." I'll be sure to get a
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single then.
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A list needs to be made "How to scare your roommate and her fat
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friends" *or* "How to kill your roommate and frame her fat friends."
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #130 -- written by Muze -- 11/5/97 *
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