168 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
168 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
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GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD
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T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e ,
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I n c o r p o r a t e d
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Presents:
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__ __ 666 333333333
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_____ ____ _| |__| |_ 666 33 333
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// | \ |_ __ _| 666 333
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|| ____ | || | | | | | 6666666666 333
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|| || \ / | || | _| |__| |_ 6666 6666 333
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\\___// \/\/ |____/ |_ __ _| 666 666 333
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|__| |__| 6666 6666 33 333
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666666666 333333333
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"Untitled?" by Lobo Licious
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----- GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime ***** Issue #63 -----
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----- release date: 11-26-98 ------
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Once, I fell and broke my wrist while rollerblading. I bet I looked like the
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Tacoma Narrows Bridge, all wiggly and shit before I fell. Which reminds me:
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I'm an engineering major. We rock. Math and science rule, man. Once, in
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my trig class, I hit my head on the desk. It fucking hurt. Zach laughed. He
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and I became friends the next year in calculus. We played chess sometimes. My
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dad taught me to play chess when I was five years old. I still suck. We also
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played this dot game. I have an aunt named "Dot." She's cool. Once, a mall
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Santa Claus called her "big-un," or so she thought (he was actually talking to
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this little kid who was nearby...my aunt glared at him, and he said it again,
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making sure to point out that the kid was who he was talking to). Her husband's
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name is "Bob." He used to be a Drill Instructor in the Marine Corps. He made
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some guy stay on his knees for two hours once. I want someone to get on their
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knees. When you pray, you get on your knees. Genuflect, I believe it's called.
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I don't remember the last time I prayed and meant it. I went to church on
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Easter. I also went to the Easter Bash. I drank. I like alcohol. I've only
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driven drunk once. I used to date a girl who's mother was killed by a drunk
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driver. They need to burn in hell. Even though I don't believe in it. I like
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my car. I miss my old one, though. It had character. I have character, but I
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don't have a spine. Or at least I have no backbone. This girl I used to work
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with broke a vertebra when she jumped out of a two story building because she
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was running from the cops. I miss that job, even though I technically still
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have it. It's a vortex, man. YOU CAN'T GET OUT. It's like a bad relationship,
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or a left-exit-having highway in a big city, like Dallas. I have friends in
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Dallas. I miss them. Zen's really tall. Taller than lots of pro-basketball
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players. I wish I could play b-ball worth a shit. Everyone shits. Snotty
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pointed that out to me. Snotty's my pal. She's not coming home this summer.
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Not for very long, anyway. I'll have to go to Houston to see her. I knew this
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guy who called Houston the world's largest suburb. I used to live in a suburb.
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We ate at "Noble Roman's Pizza" all the time. It's good, but it doesn't begin
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to compare to "One Guy From Italy." The suburb was called Manchester. There
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was this kid that lived in the apartment upstairs from us. He didn't seem to
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know his own name. His mother called him something different than what his
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father called him. He was younger than me. I was in third grade. I think his
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parents beat him. When Bruno and I bought our Philmont belts, we jokingly told
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the people at the store that they were "good for child-beating." They believed
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us, and they were scared. I felt sorry for that kid. Bruno, Bill Hooper, and I
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are supposed to eat lunch at "One Guy's" tomorrow. I invited my girlfriend too,
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but I don't know if she will show up - I left a message on her answering machine
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about it, but she may not get it in time. Besides, who would want to hang
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around a bunch of geeks like us? I like answering machines. Mine is some
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program that came with my computer. My old one had stickers all over it. So
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does the case for my bass. Bob the Master of the World had better still have
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that bass, or I will kill him, Spaniard that he is. I've known him for six or
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seven years, and he's never had a haircut besides a buzz. I usually only drink
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until I have a buzz. I have what Zippy liked to call "big hair." I've never
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figured out what that means, though. Kind of like how I don't understand the
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complexities of the research my dad does or the reason that anyone really likes
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"the Cure." Bob tMotW and I argue about music all the time, but we agree that
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"the Cure" is pretty crappy. Zippy used to listen to off-beat music, like "Ed
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Hall" and "Superchunk." He probably still does. He got married last weekend.
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Ratt Fink, Diamondback, m0m, Zach D., Sugar, Rasputin, and I sat together at the
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reception. It was a geekfest. Hopefully, GwadFest98 will be MORE THAN a
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geekfest, not that geekfests are less-than-cool or anything like that. The
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old-school GwD monthly gatherings were naught but geekfests. At one of them,
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STM shot Sir Flea with a BB gun. Another time, BtMotW spent the whole night
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running from fastjack, who wanted to kill him. fj still wants to kill him, and
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that shit went down 4 years ago or more. I've never killed anyone. My boss
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claims that he has, and I'm not sure if he's lying or not. He's one of those
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guys that's always cynical and sarcastic and you can never tell if he's joking
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or lying or not. I didn't find out until after we broke up, but my
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ex-girlfriend lied to me, and fairly often, I would guess. I took her to my
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senior prom. We ate at "Gabriel's," which is where the girl I'm dating now
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worked until Sunday when the owner decided to close the place without telling
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anyone beforehand. That's kinda shitty. I mean, it's not burn-your-house-down,
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kill-your-dog, sleep-with-your-wife shitty, but it's pretty shitty nonetheless.
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I'm glad I don't work at a restaurant. Cleaning up other people's messes sucks
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ass. One time, some customer shat all over the wall in one of the stalls of the
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women's restroom where I work. I had never been so glad that I was a male in my
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life. A dr00gan female who also happened to work there (and who shall remain
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nameless to avoid undue embarrassment to her) had to clean it up. Personally, I
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wouldn't have done it - I would have walked then and there, if they'd asked me
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to clean it up. I like walking. It's good for the soul, if you believe in that
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sort of thing. I don't know what I believe in anymore, not that I'm sure I ever
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really did. I believe in friends. I believe in love. I believe in hate. I
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believe in being all you can be. But I'm not going to join the army. It's just
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not my cup of tea. Tea sure is good, though. Earl grey, like Captain Picard
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drank. Or even "Lipton Brisk Iced Tea." Y'know, the one with those claymation
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commercials? Claymation is cool. Whatever happened to the "California
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Raisins?" Those raisins brought about my first hearing of Marvin Gaye. Simply
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put, the man was a genius. Like Beethoven. Or Mozart. Or Lennon. Or Marley.
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Or Dali. Or Van Gogh. When I went to France, I saw this really cool Dali
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exhibit with a bunch of statues and stuff. I didn't see any of his art, but I
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saw the sanitorium where Van Gogh cut off his ear and the cafe from his painting
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"Cafe a Nuit." It was an expensive cafe, so we didn't eat there. I'm cheap. I
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tell my girlfriend that all the time, and she makes fun of me for it. I suppose
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I deserve it. But hey, it's not my fault I get things for free when I'm around
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her. Right? I like free stuff. 99% or so of the time, free stuff is better
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than stuff you have to pay for. Basically, free stuff is where it's at. Kind
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of like the Honors Frat, despite it's officership. And membership. And any
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other -ship you can think of. If I wanted to be in a service organization, I'd
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be in APO. I was a Boy Scout, after all. So was Bruno. We used to sing in
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French on camping trips to scare everyone else so they wouldn't butt-rape us.
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Or something like that. Wait, no child molestation ever happened in our scout
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troop (that we know of). After they made us watch that video about how
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molestation was bad, Bruno and I *did* chase these little kids around asking
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them if they wanted to wrestle because the older-boy/molester in the video liked
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to wrestle naked with his victims. We were joking though. The Ol' Dirty Croat
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may be a lot of things (like old and dirty), but he sure as hell isn't a
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pedophile. And neither am I, despite what you may have heard. We had some fun
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times in Scouts. Arlo and I used to be on an OA Ceremonies Team together. Rory
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was on the other team. What's the OA? I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill
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you. Simply put, the OA has used the "WWW" abbreviation since long before it
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was chic to use it (though the OA's "WWW" stands for something completely
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different from everyone else's). Not that the common man's "WWW" is a bad
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thing. I mean, hey, free porn. We all know that's what the Internet is for.
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So quit reading this lame-ass text file and go download some porn. NOW.
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What was the point of this? I don't know. If you don't like it, that's just
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too fucking bad.
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Leave me alone.
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-----------------------------<GwD Command Centers>------------------------------
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GwDweb: http://www.GREENY.org/
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http://gwd.snakeden.org/
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GwD Publications: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2334/
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ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/
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ftp://gwd.snakeden.org/gwd/
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ftp://ftp.dto.net/pub/dto/zines/gwd/
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ftp://ftp.etext.org/pub/Zines/Greeny/
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GwD BBSes: C.H.A.O.S. - http://chaos.GREENY.org/
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http://solice.iglobal.net/chaos/
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The Snake's Den - http://www.snakeden.org/
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telnet://bbs.snakeden.org
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dial-in: (806)793-3779
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E-Mail: gwd@GREENY.org
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* GwD, Inc. - P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas 79490 *
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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"This son of a bitch here is not only a player, he's a definite bad influence
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and is capable of inciting many riots, your honor. He's a goddamn
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revolutionary." - The Lawyer-guy in the court skit-thing
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on Wyclef Jean's album (_The Carnival_)
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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-+- F Y M -+-
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GR33NY LIK3S mash3d p0tat03s
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MORE THAN FIVE YEARS of ABSOLUTE CRAP! /---------------\
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copyright (c) MCMXCVIII Lobo Licious/GwD Publications :FIGHT THE POWER:
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copyright (c) MCMXCVIII GwD, Inc. : GwD :
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All rights reserved \---------------/
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GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD63
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