87 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
87 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Confronting My Old Self
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-----------------------
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Suddenly this evening I was somehow confronted with my past self.
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If that doesn't make sense then let me attempt to explain. I saw something
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that made my mind thrust forth a part of my past that I had long and since
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forgotten about. I was once an attempted 'hacker' I did everything I could
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to learn the things that most hackers take for granted. It wasn't that I was
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stupid, I was just say impatient. I remember the complaints, I remember
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the discouragement, but still I tried. Well I still somehow have that
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element in me but I never sat down until now and thought about it. When I
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left the environment of piss wars about 'knowledge' and other things that
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are not worth mentioning. I tried my hardest to learn how to break a system
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before I knew the system, if that makes any sense to you. When you see
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these people that can break into or sneak into systems, you want nothing
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more in life than to do that. Somehow you just can't do it, you read the
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text and then try to follow through is a waste of time.
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See people told me that I had to learn how the program ticked before
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I could 'hack' it, yet I still tried and failed. So that brings me to my
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current position, here I sit going to graduate school, I am studying "Initial
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Results in Electromechanical Mode Identification from Ambient Data" which
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seems like a century ago when I was frustrated when I could figure out the
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basics of a system as of Unix. The major question in my head is am I still
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a wannabe hacker?
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Since this is such a complicated question I have sat here in my
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shitty graduate student housing trying to put this into words. Since I
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started school interested in computers and engineering, I have always
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thought to myself "how can I bypass this system.<2E> Sometimes I sit up at
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night and go over systems that had nothing to do with my grade or my career
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as an engineer, yet had everything to do with my drive to know every aspect
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of a certain network or program. Some I still can't figure how to get around,
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others I did. Does this some how deem me as a hacker? Well, that is a
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matter of opinion. Do I have a web page that has "MY k00l h4ck1ng s1t3<74> no,
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not really. Do I put out publications with USEFUL information? No, even
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if I did, no one will read it, and if they do, I would be surprised. Do I
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read 2600, not really, all they talk about anymore is some moron in jail.
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I just do my own thing, I am not part of a group, I haven't even tried to
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start a group because you know what, that isn't what it is about being a
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hacker.
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I think that after all this retrospect on my little life, what have
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I really gained? Am I ashamed of how I was, a little, but I don't regret it
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at all. Am I hacker? This is a complicated question, by some definitions,
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yes I am a hacker, and by others no I am nothing but a part time or casual
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'hack'. I think that I will leave this one to the masses. Will I ever get
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involved in the 'scene' again? Maybe, but my past is so clouded that I
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really doubt it, I have better things to do than to get into fights
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'on-line'.
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I guess the moral of all this is, some people will consider
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themselves hackers when they are really nothing but people that ride on the
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coat tails on others. Some people don't even call themselves hackers and
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have the skill and knowledge and drive to do it. The major question is who
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or what category do you fit into?
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- anonymous
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.DTO.NET /pub/zines/fuck =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= WWW http://www.sekurity.org/~fuck (temp down) =
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= http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.simunye.com/fuck =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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