93 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
93 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Mirrors of Years
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There are so many parts to me, that no one could ever possibly know them all.
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Mirrors when I was little, were gateways to different worlds. Just like in
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Alice in Wonderland: The Looking Glass, or in the movie: Legend. They were
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pieces of glass, I could get totally lost and absorbed in, a world that was
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unlike the one I resided in. Spending hours in front of the mirror,
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wondering what made things the way they were, and what would make things
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the way they would be, someday.
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Nowadays, when I see a mirror, I avoid looking at it. But, one night, I
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closed my door, and there was my full length mirror. Only for a fleeting
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moment, I felt the curiosity of knowing once again. Finding out the
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secrets of the world of mirrors. My jaw dropped, from what I saw in that
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mirror that night. The one staring back at me, I did not recognize; the way
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she talked, the way she dressed, looked ... and her eyes! Her eyes were as
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if bottomless pools, that held every emotion ever felt, with shadows of some
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emotions. Shattered pieces of joy, outlined the surrounding of her eyes,
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happiness once a friend shimmered in the whites of her eyes. The dark green,
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were pieces of contempt, hatred, and shame. The black part of her eyes,
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that was the scariest of all. Endless, spiraling end. An end, that would
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continue destroying the one that once looked at the world of mirrors with
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such happiness, creativity and excitement for life.
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Letting the pieces of cloth fall from her shoulders, taking note of the
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condition of her body, it had shape now, filled out, and no longer looked
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like a little kids. As if seeing through some sort of special glasses, I
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could see where every mark or scar was or is, and every where ones had
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touched. There was something about her breath, the one in the mirror - a
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breath of carelessness, of denial.
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Laying down in bed, looking up to the ceiling, I promise never to look into
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the mirrors again.
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There are so many pieces of me, no one knows all. Sometimes I wonder if I
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even do.
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Things certain people say, I will react in different ways. There is the side
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of me that my family knows, work knows, friends. Friends ... now they see
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several different me's depending on which set of friends.
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Though, there is one thing that ties all of these different parts together,
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and that is my heart. My heart holds all the scares, shattered pieces,
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seams, cuts, walls, memories, loves, hates, and emotions that I have ever
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felt. To know me, know my heart ...
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To get to my heart ... you need to know how to live your life with your
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heart. Instead of the way I have lived mine, at times.
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Shadows linger deep within me, at times they are stronger and wider, then my
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heart. Other times, my heart is so large, that others are always around me.
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Then there are times like today ... where my heart is still, the shadows calm
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and it is as if I am looking into that mirror again.
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Seeing myself, a way that I wish I never had ... mirrors. They reflect so
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much. Sometimes, they can reflect things others do not see, and we do not
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know. Mirrors ... something I always wish I could ignore, but am always
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drawn back to, someday.
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Within the mirror, are all the parts of me, for my heart, still longs to find
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that mirror, that will only take me, and never return me. For, a mirror with
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no image, is one that I wish to be. Or maybe, I wish for an image that does
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not sicken me?
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- Kamira
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.simunye.com/fuck =
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= http://www.dis.org/se7en/fuck =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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