139 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
139 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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101 Things for Kids to do Instead of Watching Television
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--------------------------------------------------------
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(In response to 20/20's 9/27/96 story)
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1. Play with matches
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2. Get drunk
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3. Sniff airplane glue/whiteout
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4. Stab someone
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5. Kidnap television stars & torture them for being part of the
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dark television god's evil reign.
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6. Throw things at the neighborhood kids.
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7. Play "psychotic freak of nature". (gun or knife recommended)
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8. Read (Anarchist Cookbook, Satanic Bible, etc.)
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9. Pretend you can fly from roof of house. (Better if apartment).
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10. Get a job in a sweatshop.
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11. Play at park, get injured, sue the state.
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12. Punch your little sister in the head.
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(If you don't have one, rent someone else's little sister.)
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13. Clean the streets (pick up the used condoms, crack vials, etc.)
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14. Chant demonic songs.
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15. Make tin foil hats to protect your family from Zhantarr.
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16. Ride the subway, selling box-cutters.
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17. "Explore" the oven.
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18. Hop up and down until you die.
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19. Become a convicted criminal's "Bendover Buddy".
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20. Watch Oprah (Not on TV, of course. Find out where she lives.)
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21. Go to the mall naked.
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22. Go to Taco Bell and NEVER LEAVE!
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23. Collect your hair, nail clippings, and drool.
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24. Draw squares in the air and just yell.
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25. Walk around the house naked. (Not your house, of course.)
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26. Mail tiny glass shards to your friends.
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27. Take a crap in the street and scream "Here comes the poopie!"
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28. Go to McDonalds' and ask girls to touch your "McNuggets".
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29. See how long you can go without bathing.
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30. Instead of watching Beavis & Butthead, BE BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD!
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31. Make an original flag, and "claim" your neighborhood.
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32. Do #31, and punch whoever comes near your flag.
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33. Learn about torture. Practice on the family pet.
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34. Make a list of things for kids to do without watching TV.
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35. Play chess, lose, and jam a Bishop in your opponent's eye.
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36. Unsupervised swimming.
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37. Find bugs, keep a record of'em, and make'm into a salad.
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38. Feed bug salad to friends.
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39. Hitchhike.
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40. Play in traffic.
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41. Search your neighborhood for tall trees and jump out of them.
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42. Go to Kmart and ask where they keep the detonation devices.
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43. Rape and pillage.
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44. Go to Toys'R'Us and ask why Geoffry the giraffe looks queer.
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45. Sacrifice animals.
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46. Make a will. (Not yours.)
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47. Tell everyone that when you grow up, you want to be Satan.
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48. Projectile vomiting.
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49. Sudden, uncontrolled urination.
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50. "Fuck you, clown!".
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51. Figure out what #50 meant.
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52. Write "EVIL" on your forehead with red ink/food coloring/etc.
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53. Put a roll of aluminum foil in the microwave.
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54. Put a hamster in the microwave. (What's that screeching noise?)
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55. Gag on people.
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56. Do the "live wire" macarena.
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57. Call people "Worthless whores" and kick them.
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58. Ask your parents what happens when you eat glass, and then say
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"Ooops!"
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59. Get a chainsaw, turn it on, and spin around with your eyes closed.
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60. Play "Pimp".
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61. Play "Beat the pimp".
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62. Try to buy peoples souls.
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63. See what foods will make you crap purple.
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64. Drink a whole bottle of Nyquil.
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65. Feed Alka-Seltzer to pigeons, and stand back.
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66. Make up an imaginary friend, and claim it molested you.
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67. Eat Kool-Aid MIX. (Go ahead, it's nasty.)
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68. Collect the entire set of "Serial Killer Trading Cards".
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69. Huh huh... 69...
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70. Find dead animals.
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71. Leave dead animals on teachers' doorsteps.
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72. Get a hooker! All the cool kids do it!
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73. Get VD! All the stupid cool kids do it!
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74. Go to hacker meetings.
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75. Work for Michael Jackson. Play with his toys, blow Bubbles!
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76. Sue Michael Jackson!
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77. Make a morgue out of cardboard boxes or Lego Blocks.
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78. Play Doctor! (Kevorkian, that is.)
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79. Decorate your crackpipe.
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80. Beat yourself with a hammer (for free "Light-bright" effect).
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81. Help corrupt the other youth.
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82. Play a rousing game of "Crucifixion".
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83. Go permanently, irrevocably insane.
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84. Suck up some computer radiation (Mmmmmm... Mutation...)
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85. Lick everything you see.
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86. Try to figure out what the voices are trying to say.
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(You DO hear them, don't you???)
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87. Watch "A Clockwork Orange".
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88. Call this # - 18003223884
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89. Make sculptures out of human waste.
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90. Have Molester teach you about "Jackhammer Rape".
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91. Ride in the dryer.
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92. Watch "Sesame Street" intently for "the hidden evil commands".
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93. Set up a stand, but instead of selling lemonade, sell your sister.
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94. Make up a good excuse for your sister being missing.
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95. Smoke crayons.
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96. Get on a table, fall off, and yell "I'm Bob Dole."
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97. Eat fingerpaint.
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98. Bring home a Leper.
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99. Help me, I want to stop typing but I can't. My hands just won't stop. I think I may have to kill them, they talk about murdering me, while I'm asleep. Oh no, they know my thoughts. Help. Help. He
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100. Kill the useless bastard you're attached to.
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101. Ready the television for more watching.
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by /<2F>NARCHY of the AoC - agentsofchaos@geocities.com
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Files through AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= Files through WWW: http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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