157 lines
8.3 KiB
Plaintext
157 lines
8.3 KiB
Plaintext
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DDDDD FFFF SSSSSSS
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(ASCii By AD!)
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Damned Fucking Shit
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Issue #27
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Title: On iCE Two - The Return
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Date: 6/7/94
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By: Dementia Praecox
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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On iCE Two - The Return
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by Dementia Praecox
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... The rumble of the engine. The `hiss' of the air brakes.
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Midday traffic. Yep, I really fucking love being a bus driver.
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Or, I did.
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The last few weeks have been a jumble of good days, and days
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not worth a fucking shit. The shit part was, I lost my last job,
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ice cream truck driver. Because of a fucking dent! At least they
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didn't ever realize that the dent is in the shape of a young boy's
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head. Oh, I see the posters, "Missing since... ". No, not
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missing. I know right were all those little fucks are currently
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residing. Six feet under my backyard. At least I quickly found
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another job, though. Bus driver. I did like it for awhile. But
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now I'm starting to fucking despise all the assholes on the route.
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"Let me off at 64th street!"
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"Slow down!"
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"It's too hot!"
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"Stop here!"
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Shut the FUCK UP! Jesus Christ! Isn't there any way to get
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a job where you get some respect? A little common fucking
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courtesy?!? I just can't take this shit anymore. Today, I decided
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to have some fun. I brought the shotgun. It's leaning against my
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seat, on the far side, where no one can see it. Yet.
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The first passengers to get on seem like they're okay, which
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is a major fucking surprise. Then the bus starts moving, and a
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little later, the demands start.
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A man approaches the front of the bus, and asks me to stop at
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the next street. Bullshit.
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"Sit down, we're going for a ride."
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"But..." the son of a bitch stammers.
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The shotgun virtually jumps into my hand. The stock presses
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against my shoulder, and I feel the cold touch of the trigger on
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the back of my finger. I swivel around, and point the barrel at
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his chest.
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"Sit the FUCK down!" I scream at the man, my face contorting
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in my rage.
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The man just stands there, his mouth hanging open in
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amazement. He glances from me, to the gun, to himself, then back
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again. Seeing that he's not moving, I encourage him by pulling
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back on the trigger.
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A dull roar echoes from the gun. A rather large hole appears
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in his chest area. His insides appear all over the wall behind
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him, and also on an old lady sitting behind him. The man falls
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over onto the floor, clutching his chest, the look of amazement
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still on his face as he dies. And then the screams begin from the
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other passengers. If there's one thing I fucking hate, it's
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screaming.
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"Shut up!" I yell.
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The noise doesn't stop, but something else has already
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captures my attention. It's the old woman in the second row,
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covered with blood and digestive tract.
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For the last few seconds, she had just been sitting, and
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staring in horror at the "atrocities" occurring in front of her.
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The bitch hardly fucking moved. Finally, she began inhaling once
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again. But then, she stopped suddenly. She began to clutch at her
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chest frantically. "Holy Shit!" I thought, "She's having a heart
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attack!". This struck me as funny, and I began laughing. Slowly
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at first, then it came pouring out. I was laughing harder and
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harder. She looked at me in horror, then sank to the floor. Her
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struggles finally ceased.
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The laughter kept going for awhile, then slowly wound down.
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Fuck, I haven't felt this good since that day in the ice cream
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truck!
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I turned back to the road, and messed with the controls to
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make sure that no one could leave through the back door of the bus.
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They had to come up front to leave. But, I don't think any of them
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were too goddamned eager to do that. They were all huddling in the
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back, practically shitting in their fucking pants. Those were a
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few scared motherfuckers.
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I squinted through the windshield, and saw that there were
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some people waiting to get on the bus at the next bus stop.
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Wouldn't these bastards be in for a surprise?!
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As I drew closer to the bus stop, I didn't slow down. Seeing
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this, the people at the bus stop began to wave and yell for me to
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stop and get them. Fucking assholes. Little did they know that,
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although I was going to get them, I wasn't going to stop.
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I was getting closer and closer to the stop. By now, they
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were pissed off. They were yelling things at me, and giving me the
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finger. I turned the wheel of the bus a little toward the right.
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THUD! The bus jumped the curb. From the sidewalk, the screams
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began. Too bad, stupid fucks.
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Some of them tried to run. Some of them just stood, frozen in
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place in their terror. The ones trying to run got as far as one
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step, but they were far too late. About three tons of machine
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crashed into about nine hundred pounds worth of people. There was
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first a loud "SMACK!", as the people hit the front of the bus like
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flies hitting the windshield of a car. The, there was a sickening
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"CRUNCH!", as their bones were crushed under the spinning tires of
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death.
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I fought with the fucking wheel to keep control as I removed
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the breath of life from all of the people at once. Once I passed
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by them, I slowed to a stop. Looking back, I saw nothing moving.
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Taught those fuckheads a lesson.
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Hmm.. What now? Well, I was in the mood for a little more
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fucking destruction. I picked up the shotgun and walked back to
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where the five or six surviving original passengers were cowering
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in fear.
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"Get the fuck up, you pieces of shit!" I yelled.
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I made them stand up, and then escorted them (with the
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assistance of the shotgun) to the back of the bus. They got to
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stand in what was left of the people who had formerly been waiting
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for the bus. Lucky them! Once they were lined up, I started
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shooting.
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A total of five shots rang out, one shot in the legs for each
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of the assholes. Just so they couldn't go anywhere. They screamed
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in agony and fell to the ground as the small pieces of metal found
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their marks, and robbed them of the ability to walk.
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I went back to the bus and hopped in, whistling a cheery toon
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as I went. The empty shotgun clattered to the floor as I released
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it from my grip. Easing into the seat, I started up the bus, and
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then shifted into "Reverse". There was a "THUD!", as I slammed the
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gas pedal down to the floor.
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The last of the fuckers died as the bus crushed them like
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bugs. Some of them had been trying to crawl away. Idiots.
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"Today was a fairly decent day...". I thought to myself. I
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now feel much better about my job, having taught a lesson to a few
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lousy pieces of shit. I have... a more positive outlook on life.
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I managed to scrape all of them up off the pavement, and then
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loaded them up into the bus. Finally, I was headed for home.
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Shit, the bus would need one hell of a fucking scrub down tonight..
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Find DFS On These Fine Systems
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==========================================================================
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| Paradise Lost +1.414.476.3181 DFS World HQ |
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| Temporary Insanity +1.ITS.NOW.DOWN DFS Affiliate HQ |
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| Plan 9 Information Archives +1.716.881.FONE (3663) DFS Southern HQ |
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| Under World Element +1.203.740.9571 DFS Eastern HQ |
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| 7th Heaven +1.216.464.6789 DFS Affiliate |
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| Twilight Of The Idols +1.613.226.3386 DFS Canada HQ |
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| AE - Plan 9 Information Archives - Login: DFS |
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| FTP - etext.archive.umich.edu - /pub/Zines/DFS |
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| IRC - #DFS (Whenever Access Denied or Incarnate is on) |
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| To submit, call Paradise Lost and log on as DFS. The password is: |
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| JINGLE JINGLE |
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==========================================================================
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