92 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
92 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
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T ||==\\ || || ||==\\ ||==|| || || B L E N D E R C O R P O R A T I O N
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|| || || || || || || \\ // ------------------------------------
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H || || || || ||==// ||=|| >|< >>> Presents <<<
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|| || || || || \\ || // \\ BAGEL1 .DBC
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E ||==// \\==// || \\ ||==|| || || #003-AA02 -- [04/22/91]
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______________________________________________________________________________
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"Bagel-Man"
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-------------------
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by Aldebaran Arghat
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Richard was an honest boy. He was not the brightest student in his
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class, but he was sincere. Ever since he was a young boy entering
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elementary school, Richard wanted only to be accepted by others. But for
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some reason, Richard was different from all the other boys and girls. There
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was something different, something special, about Richard. His appearance
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was plain: barely over five feet, dark hair, acne; not an unusual appearance
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for this junior in high school. But Richard was never understood by the
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others. There was a difference between Richard and the others that no
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person could even begin to understand. It all began when Richard was a
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freshman in high school...
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Richard had just moved to Plimpton the previous summer. Richard came
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to school the first day prepared to make a good first impression on all his
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future classmates and friends. He was wearing his Keds sneakers and his Osh
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Kosh shirt, pocket protector and his bowl cut hairdo. Richard was ready to
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make some friends and start a great new life in Plimpton. He entered the
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school with a bright smile on his face, ready to go. Entering the small
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brick school, he found it bustling with other students, all excited about
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the start of the school year. Richard eventually met a few people, and but
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none were friendly towards him. And soon, his luck went further downhill
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when he felt nature's inevitable call.
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Richard had little trouble finding the single lavatory in the school.
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As Richard swung open the door and stepped inside, he sensed that all was
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not well. A cloud of putrid fumes hung ominously overhead, and from inside
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a stall heavy breathing could be heard. The stall swung open, and a figure
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emerged from the smoky depths of the lavatory. "Hey, what the fuck are you
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starin' at, geek boy?"
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The burnout was more than six feet tall, with long tangled hair, a torn
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denim jacket and tight leather pants. The heavy chain hanging ouf his belt
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clattered loudly as he stepped up in front of Richard.
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"I... I... I need to pee..." stammered Richard.
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Richard had never seen a burnout before, coming from his rural villiage
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of thirty students.
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"You wanna take a leak, shithead? Take this you geek!" the tall
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burnout shouted as he lowered his pants and urinated on Richard.
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Richard was frozen in fear. He could do nothing to resist the
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humiliation he was being put through. After what seemed an eternity to
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Richard, the burnout walked towards the door.
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"If your geek friends ask who did this to ya', tell them it was the
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Skulta. And don't let me see you trying to take a leak in my pissroom
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again, or you won't get off so easy."
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With that, Skulta left, and Richard was left alone. Mortified, Richard
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climbed out the lavatory window and ran home.
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That night, Richard grew restless. Searching for an escape from his
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troubles, Richard took a walk through Plimpton park. It was a hot and
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toasty night, and Richard soon had to stop for a rest beside a phone pole.
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He sat down beside it, and was about to fall asleep, when he heard a voice
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from above...
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"Hello what!" said the voice, as the dark figure descended from the
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pole. "I'm Random Tox. You can just call me Random, if you want. What can
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I do you for?"
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"Well, mister, I'm nothing. Nobody likes me anymore. And...and...
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today in the bathroom, the Skulta peed on me and got me smelly and sticky!"
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"Well it serves you right! You're boring... umm.. no. I didn't say
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that. What I meant to say is that you could avoid all this alienation and
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crap. What you need, my small friend, is a gimmick!"
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A look of interest arose on Richard's face, as Random revealed his plan
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to give Richard a new image... a GIMMICK.
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"What you've got to do is get a gimmick. Something unique. Something
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special. You know... a gimmick. Like the professional wrestlers. But you
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know, they have lame gimmicks what. You need something impressive. You can
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be... umm... let's see... you can be... BAGEL MAN! That's it! It's your
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new image! Your gimmick! Trust me, if you follow my instructions, you'll
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have the babes all over you and the Skulta trembling at your feet!"
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Random proceeded to instruct Richard on the details of his new image,
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and by the next morning, when he came to school, Richard was no longer the
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young innocent boy he was the day before... he was no longer Richard... he
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was... Bagel-Man!
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[Note: This is partially based on reality... Gimmick my ass, Random...]
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Part II coming soon! [I doubt it - Ed.]
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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(C)1991 by The Durex Blender Corporation & Aldebaran Arghat All Rights
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Revered. Even yours.
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*** Spread the word of Turnex, the Blender for the Next Millenium. ***
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The Durex Blender Corporation : Boston (617) 696-8156 - 24oo/8N1 - 24 hours
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