68 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
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<20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20>
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<20><> <20><> <20> <20> <20>
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<20> <20> <20> <20> <20>
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BLaH <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20>
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File <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> Written Oct. 1st, 1992
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#032 <20> <20>ig <20>ong <20><><EFBFBD> <20>nd <20> <20>airy
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<20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>
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<20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><>
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Presents
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<20> <20><> <20>
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"For a Limited Time"
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<20> by <20>
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Constantine
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<20> <20><> <20>
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Hey! You, there! Yes, you, with the dark glasses and the "I Heart
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The Illuminati/I Club Eris" lapel button! Are you sick of the Kennedy
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assassination yet? Does your nose curl when someone starts rambling about
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the "magic bullet" theory? Do you fly into a homicidal rage when some schmuck
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insists on explaining his personal ideas (it was the post office!) for the
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eightieth time?
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Hang on to your hats, kids! Here it comes again!
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It's the limited edition Kennedy Assassination Chess Set.
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For the low-low price of of only $89.99 a month (plus $200/month
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shipping and handling), the Franklin Mint will send you a new piece every
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month until the year 3842. Each piece comes with a certificate of
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authenticity, signed and numbered by sculptor Fnord William Shea.
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Just look at these beautiful, hand-painted masterpieces! The
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spray of pewter blood from J.F.K's demolished skull, the anatomically
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correct splatter of brains on Jackie's pillbox hat, Governor Connoly's pants
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soiled with real barium, and the perfectly reproduced rifles in Oswald's hand
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(with opposite-pointing shadows!)
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You couldn't possibly find a more tasteful and distinctive addition
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to your home decor, and if you order NOW you'll recieve a handsome Grassy
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Knoll playing board to showcase your pieces. Just think of what your friends
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will say...
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"I wish >I< had a Kennedy Assassination Chess Set!"
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"Teddy Kennedy is a bishop?"
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"Wow! Those splattered brains look so REAL!"
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"The barium is so tasty!"
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"Is that Ted Nugent over there?"
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"No, that's Newt Gingrich.. Ted's behind Cthulhu"
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Order today. Dial 1-800-JFK-DEAD. Visa, Mastercharge and
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American Excess accepted, offer void in the event of Bob's second
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coming.
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{---End Of File.. Safe-T-Penis says "3323 bytes total"------------------------}
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why do we care how big the file is? just in case it's infected with the WHORE!
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virus, you'll know..
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BLaH <sigh>ts
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708-251-5094 <20> Nun-Beaters Anonymous - BLaH WHQ <20> [IL]
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708-965-8965 <20> Carbon Nation <20> [IL]
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305-927-3028 <20> The Insane Asylum <20> [FL]
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419-475-3089 <20> The Realm Of Death <20> [OH]
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819-778-0454 <20> Brain Damage <20> [QC]
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Vote BLaH in '92.. Paula Ferguson for president! It's time to put a woman
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in the white house who isn't afraid to admit that she has no testicles!
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{---FNORDline--Mahabon, Jabulon, Boopsie, etc..-----------------------------}
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