81 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
81 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
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<20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20>
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<20><> <20><> <20> <20> <20>
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<20> <20> <20> <20> <20>
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BLaH <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20>
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File <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> Written August 4th, 1992
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#012 <20> <20>ig <20>ong <20><><EFBFBD> <20>nd <20> <20>airy
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<20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>
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<20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><>
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Presents
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<20> <20><> <20>
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"Cthulhu Crusade '92!"
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<20> by <20>
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Constantine
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<20> <20><> <20>
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Well, it's almost election time again-- what are YOU gonna do
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about it? You could vote for Bush/Quayle, but then you'd have to live
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with putting a diehard conservative and his moronically incompetent
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stooge back in office. You could vote for Clinton/Gore, but then you'd
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have to live with TIPPER GORE CONSTANTLY ON TELEVISION AGAIN! It seems
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like a tough choice either way, right? Wrong! The Dream Candidate is
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HERE, friends...
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Why vote for the LESSER of all evils? Go for CTHULHU IN '92!
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That's right, the demon-lord of R'leyh has thrown his (10 mile
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diameter) hat into the ring! Voted "Most Likely to Eat the Universe"
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by Playbeing Magazine, he's a one-man presidential machine! Of course,
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when you've got a candidate this big (and we mean BIG), only one vice-
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president will do-- Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos! It's the Ticket
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from Hell, and this is their platform:
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1: As promises to slash spending have failed in the past, Cthulhu will
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slash the SPENDERS. Congress will be summarily devoured, and the Senate
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reserved for diabolical sacrifices.
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2: No new taxes! Every family will, however, be requrired to offer their
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firstborn child.
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3: More riots. Lots more.
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4: Arms spending and nuclear proliferation will end, because Cthulhu's
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first act as President will be to eat all other nations.
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5: Changes in our stuffy old traditions-- national bird will be the
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Byhakee, national flag will bear the Yellow Sign, and the national
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song will be changed to that grand old classic, "Ia! Ia! Cthulhu
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Ftaghuan!".
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6: No matter who you vote for, the world is going to end. With Cthulhu,
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you at least get nifty pyrotechnics.
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7: The Necronomicon will be required reading in public schools, and
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school prayer will be reinstated in a BIG way.
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8: No more PTL.
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9: If elected, Nyarlathotep will eat Dan Quayle alive on national
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television. New episodes of "Murphy Brown" will air immediately
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afterward.
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There it is-- the simple 9-point plan to bring this nation back
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on its feet. So go out and register to vote today! And if you're still
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not convinced, just remember one thing-- when the Deep Ones march from
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house to house asking who voted and who didn't, do YOU want to tell
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them that you went Republican? Didn't think so.
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{---End of File... Safe-T-Nutz v0.90<EFBFBD> says "3523 Bytes Total"------------}
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"Better than ZA/\/?"
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-- Some Guy On The Street With a Hotdog
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BLaH <sigh>ts .. Just so you'll know where to get more of this crap..
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Nun-Beaters Anonymous | <708>251-5094 | 110/16.8k
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Hell Bound | <708>965-8965 | 2400/14.4k
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The Insane Asylum | <305>927-3028 | 2400/16.8k
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The Realm of Death | <419>475-3089 | 2400/16.8k
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{---Rainbow Line--Somewhere Over is the Truth..-------------------------}
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