73 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
73 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
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<20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20> <20>
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<20><> <20><> <20> <20> <20>
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BLaH <20> <20> <20> <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20>
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File <20><><EFBFBD> <20> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> Written August 3rd, 1992
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#011 <20> <20>ig <20>ong <20><><EFBFBD> <20>nd <20> <20>airy
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<20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>
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<20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><>
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Presents
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<20> <20><> <20>
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"Why Satanists are Pussies"
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<20> by <20>
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Constantine
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<20> <20><> <20>
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Just ask Geraldo Rivera-- the Satanic threat is everywhere. Yes,
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dear reader, on YOUR VERY BLOCK Satanists are getting stoned on low-grade
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grass and listening to Judas Priest as we speak! Some are performing
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gross acts of self-abuse at this very moment, strange, dark and forbidden
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rites involving small animals and PVC tubing! This evil must be stopped.
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To do my part, I present here a partial list of exactly why Satanists are,
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for lack of a better word, pussies.
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10: Bad fashion.
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9: Satanic messages are encoded backwords on rock n' roll records, right?
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Who else but a Satanist would invest that much money in record albums?
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8: Tired arms from spinning records backwards.
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7: Stupid hand gestures.
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6: No native symbols-- they have to steal them from Christians and Pagans
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and display their creativity by flipping them upside down. Wow.
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5: Most teenage Satanists limit their activities to burning cheap incense
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while getting stoned. Not only do they do everything backwards, they
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do it half-assed.
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4: Succubi aren't as much fun as you think.
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3: They take "Satanic" rock lyrics seriously.
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2: The current leader of the Church of Satan is named Zeena LaVey. Do
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YOU want to follow someone named Zeena LaVey?
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And, the number one reason why Satanists are pussies...
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1: Dan Quayle is a Satanist. No joke! His spelling problems are the
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result of years of writing backwards.
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Stay tuned for my next tfile, "Why Christian Fundementalists are
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Pussies, Too." With luck, I'll have every religious fanatic in North
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America after my ass by Yuletime. Until next we meet,
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Constantine.
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{---End of File... Safe-T-Nutz v0.90<EFBFBD> says "2913 Bytes Total"-------------}
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Freeze! Celtic Vice!
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BLaH <sigh>ts are..
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Nun-Beaters Anonymous | <708>251-5094 | 110/16.8k
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Hell Bound | <708>965-8965 | 2400/14.4k
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The Insane Asylum | <305>927-3028 | 2400/16.8k
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If you'd like to become a BLaH member, download the BLaH application from
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a board near you. Or don't. See if I care.
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{---Propaganda Line. Anything stil standing is "it"..---------------------}
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