408 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
408 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
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Happy Birthday M. Karamchand Gandhi. Thank you, thank you thank you.
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]MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[
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Wednesday. 03oct01
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Breaking news!
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No way.
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You're not going to believe this.
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A couple of planes slammed into the World Trade Center
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twin towers and within a couple hours both of them went
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straight down into a pile of rubble looking almost like
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there never was anything there before.
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No, really. I just realized it. Feels like it just happened
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a minute or two ago. Or an hour maybe, but a day? Three
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weeks?
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Wow.
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Three full weeks later it finally "hits" me.
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The numbness wears off, while I'm reading page 2 of
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Last week's Onion Newspaper out of Madison.
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]MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[
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[WARNING][Possible Copyleft Violation]
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Arab-American Third-Grader Returns From Recess Crying,
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Saying He Didn't Kill Anyone
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ROYAL OAK, MI - Eddie Bahri, 8, a Lincoln Elementary School third-grader
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of Iraqi descent, tearfully denied accusations during morning recess
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Tuesday that he was a terrorist who killed a bunch of people. "I did
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not kill anybody," Bahri told classmate Douglas Allenby. "And my dad
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didn't, either, okay?" Also implicated in the Sept. 11 attacks was
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9-year-old Rajesh Soonachian, a Lincoln Elementary fourth-grader
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of Indian descent.
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[/WARNING] ]/MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[
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I remember that feeling vividly from my gradeschool years.
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5th or 6th grade to be specific.
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My catholic next door neighbors (two brothers) used to hold
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me down on the ground and bloody my face really badly each
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day after school telling me I killed Christ because I'm half
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jewish.
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Yes, 30-40 times in a row. 5 days a week. Until the older
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one beat his dad nearly to death one day and ran away.
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"Where's your brother?" I asked on the way home from
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school that next day, my first in a long time not going home
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to wash blood away.
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"He ran away," he told me "stole $300 off my dad and took
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off on his motor scooter." I just smiled all the way home.
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I went over and knocked on their door right after dinner.
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"Is ______ home, Mrs. ___?"
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"Sure, Markie," she said, "I'll go get hi..."
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"Don't tell him who I am, Mrs. ___, I want it to be a surprise."
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The same smile from on the way home on my lips.
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When he came out onto the porch to look I hid behind a
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wicker chair until he was just next to the steps almost off
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the porch already.
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I punched him really hard in the face about three times. Threw
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him down about eight stairs and then kicked at him quite a few
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too many times while telling him not only am I NOT a Christ
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killer, but nothing can save him OR his brother after what they
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put me through for a month and a half. They taunted me daily
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after that until the day their upper enlisted navy dad got
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relocated, but never fought me again. I saw the one my age
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about 10 years later, and if I remember right he made either
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a pass or an advance at me and was moderately respectful when
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I said no, but he never contacted me again.
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Did beating the tar out of him solve much? Not really, but
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it sure did feel good at the time.
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While that memory was hammering me, I began reading the next
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Onion story that went:
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[WARNING] ]MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[
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In the wake of the recent national tragedy, President Bush is urging
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Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, and other singers to resist the urge
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to record mawkish, insipid all-star tribute ballads.
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"To America's recording artists, I just want to say, please, there
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has already been enough suffering," Bush said. "The last thing we need
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right now is a soaring Barbra Streisand-Brian McKnight duet titled 'One
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For All.'" Reports that the FBI had confiscated several notebooks and
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audio tapes from Diane Warren's home could not be confirmed as of press
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time.
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]/MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[ [/WARNING]
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Diane Warren. Yes. My age. She's already...
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THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME. FOR THREE WEEKS I ONLY KNEW
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WE LOST OUR WORLD TRADE CENTER ON 5 OR 6 LEVELS. MAYBE
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50 LEVELS EVEN, BUT IT HADN'T SUNK IN FULLY. JUST THEN
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IT DID.
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Warren. She's already gotten 110 Top-40 hits. 109 and
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110 are both the same song too! Yup. "I Don't Wanna
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Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith and also by Mark Chestnut.
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What matters anymore??
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Since long before the Pentagone - Trapezoid - Twin -
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Miscarriages. Long before that. The world had ended
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long ago.
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Seriously - it was over years ago. The rest is just
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follow through. Walking dead. Thriller. Zombies.
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Michael Jackson is broke, but 2 years ago he took out
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a loan the size of most countries' national debts. Lita
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Ford is bitter. She's STILL waiting for R&R to come back
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to life. Well, ummm. er, hum. Hey, Lita. to quote a song
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from my teenage years that might even have been Diane
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Warren's first hit, "Dream on."
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Elton John is making a comeback too. That's how you know.
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Paul McCartney's kinda broke too. How did THAT happen?
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Here's a guy who can spend more per day than Sikorsky,
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Hasbro and Colt Firearms combined. How is HE broke???
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And of course you should've known the world ended last
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Oct. when Ted Nugent stumped for Bush/Cheney and Jon
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Bon Jovi stumped for Gore/Leiberman and Patty Smith
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stumped for Nader/Laduke. I honestly don't know what's
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dumber, Nugent stumping for anyone, or just plain
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George "W" Bush himself.
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Britney Spears just co-wrote five new songs. Like I
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said, the rest is follow-thru!! I can't wait to get
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my hands on next week's Billboard so I can find out
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how many middle-aged white men co-wrote each Hitme
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song? I think Chrissy Aguilar's newest had a whopping
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9 people cowriting it. Remember that? How the heck
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do that many people write a song? Do each people hit
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one black key and one white key??
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I could go long here, but I"m ending this with a very
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short Lee Greenwood song-rewrite.
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I'm proud to be an American
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Where at least I know I'm free
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And no matter what may happen
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I can pick between coke & pepsi.
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So there, Rock & Roll died a painful, horrific, gnasing of
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teeth, popping sound, sulfur smelling death long before
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VOLUNTEERS 2001 (tm), long before NET AID (tm), way before
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FARM AID 3 IN 3D.
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At least as early as when Elvis became an FBI operative,
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R&R was dying off. The rest is follow through. No, better
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word choice: the rest is republican (pronounced bi-partisan)
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politics.
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And punk?
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Oh, don't get me started.
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Next topic?
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Yeah, it's just starting to sink in. The WTC is dead. Long
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live the WTC.
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Pundits who wrote ANYTHING (and that goes for me too!) the
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last couple three weeks should just pretend they never even
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wrote it, because any day now it's gonna sink in for them too.
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Yikes.
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Take my word for it. Most of you are still numb. Don't say
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a word. Not even an "I'm sorry," or a "I feel your pain..."
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Just sit there with the dead body, comfort the living. This
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is no time for words. Say less. Do even less. Just be there;
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let silence save the day. We're going to need as much silence
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as we can get these next few decades.
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Silence.
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Ah,
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Oh,
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Mmm,
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"..."
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Silence. Breath in, breath out.
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Rinse, repeat.
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Basically, the Untied States just last month for the first time
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in our short history have joined the world community. We can
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no longer say we have no way to relate to the death squads and
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terrorisms that have been recycling the world over for the past
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couple millenia. We can no longer say we've never been attacked
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on our own soil. It just may come to pass that we can no longer
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salute covering one eye signalling to the rest of the world that
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we've "never lost in battle."
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That's still to be seen. For now we're an open salted vinegarred
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wound with legs and ears. And fists.
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I'll end this midweek rant with one last TheOnion (tm) reprint.
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]MIDWEEK REPRINT[==][CRISIS REPRINT[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[
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GOD ANGRILY CLARIFIES 'DON'T KILL' RULE
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Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity
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worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000
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years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each
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other Monday.
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"Look, I don't know, maybe I haven't made myself completely clear, so
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for the record, here it is again," said the Lord, His divine face betraying
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visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin
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Towers. "Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to
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kill their neighbor. Well, I don't. And to be honest, I'm really getting
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sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to
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kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms
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that anybody ought to be able to understand."
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[ GET FULL TEXT AT:
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http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/god_clarifies_dont_kill.html ]
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<20> "...I tried to put it in the simplest possible terms for you people, so
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you'd get it straight, because I thought it was pretty important," said God,
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called Yahweh and Allah respectively in the Judaic and Muslim traditions.
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"I guess I figured I'd left no real room for confusion after putting it in
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a four-word sentence with one-syllable words, on the tablets I gave to Moses.
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How much more clear can I get?" ...
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<EFBFBD> ...praised the overwhelming majority of His Muslim followers as "wonderful,
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pious people," calling the perpetrators of the [attacks] rare exceptions.
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<EFBFBD> ..."This whole medieval concept of the jihad, or holy war, had all but
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vanished from the Muslim world in, like, the 10th century, and with good reason,"
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God said. "There's no such thing as a holy war, only unholy ones. The vast
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majority of Muslims in this world reject the murderous actions of these
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radical extremists, just like the vast majority of Christians in America
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are pissed off over those two bigots on The 700 Club."
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...Growing increasingly wrathful, God continued: "Can't you people see?
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What are you, morons? There are a ton of different religious traditions
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out there, and different cultures worship Me in different ways. But the
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basic message is always the same: Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism,
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Shintoism... every religious belief system under the sun, they all say
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you're supposed to love your neighbors, folks! It's not that hard a concept
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to grasp..."
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"Why would you think I'd want anything else? Humans don't need religion or
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God as an excuse to kill each other... The whole point of believing in God
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is to have a higher standard of behavior. How obvious can you get?"
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"I'm talking to all of you, here!" continued God, His voice rising to a shout.
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"Do you hear Me? I don't want you to kill anybody. I'm against it, across the
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board. How many times do I have to say it? Don't kill each other anymore ever!
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I'm fucking serious!"
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<EFBFBD> Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium
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for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake,
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and He wept.
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]/MIDWEEK REPRINT[==][CRISIS REPRINT[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS REPRINT[
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[ref]=[http://www.theonion.com]
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A very short NUMBERS run, and there's 0 LETTUCE 2day. :)
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http://www.abattoir.com/~prime8/Orwell/whywrite.html
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http://www.indymedia.org/front.php3?article_id=69487
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http://www.abattoir.com/~prime8/Orwell
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http://www.themomi.org
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Alpine, Ash Fork, Bagdad,
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Bellemont, Black Canyon City,
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Blue Gap, Bouse, Bullhead City,
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Bylas, Cameron, Camp Verde, Central,
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Chambers, Chinle, Chino Valley, Chloride,
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Cibecue, Cibola, Clay Springs, Claypool, Clifton,
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Colorado City, Concho, Congress, Cornville, Cottonwood,
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Crown King, Dateland, Dennehotso, Dewey, Dolan Springs, Duncan,
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Eagar, Eden, Ehrenberg, Flagstaff, Forest Lakes, Fort Apache, Fort
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Defiance, Fort Mohave, Fort Thomas, Fredonia, Gadsden, Ganado, Globe,
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Golden Valley, Grand Canyon, Gray Mountain, Greer, Hackberry, Happy Jack,
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Hayden, Heber, Holbrook, Hotevilla, Houck, Hualapai, Humboldt, Indian Wells,
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Iron Springs, Jerome, Joseph City, Kaibito, Kayenta, Keams Canyon, Kingman,
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Kirkland, Kykotsmovi Village, Lake Havasu City, Lake Montezuma, Lakeside,
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Leupp, Littlefield, Lukachukai, Lupton, Many Farms, Marble Canyon,
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Mayer, Mcnary, Meadview, Miami, Mohave Valley, Morenci, Mormon
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Lake, Munds Park, Nazlini, North Rim, Nutrioso, Oatman,
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Overgaard, Page, Parker, Parks, Paulden, Payson,
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Peach Springs, Peridot, Petrified Forest Natl
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Pk, Pima, Pine, Pinedale, Pinetop, Pinon,
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Polacca, Poston, Prescott, Prescott
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Valley, Quartzsite, Red Valley,
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Rimrock, Rock Point, Roll,
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Roosevelt, Round Rock, Safford,
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Saint Johns, Saint Michaels, Salome,
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San Carlos, San Luis, Sanders, Sawmill,
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Second Mesa, Sedona, Seligman, Shonto, Show
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Low, Skull Valley, Snowflake, Solomon, Somerton,
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Springerville, Sun Valley, Supai, Tacna, Taylor, Teec
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Nos Pos, Temple Bar Marina, Thatcher, Tonalea, Tonto Basin,
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Topock, Tsaile, Tuba City, Valentine, Vernon, Wellton, Wenden,
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White Mountain Lake, Whiteriver, Wikieup, Williams, Willow Beach,
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Window Rock, Winkelman, Winslow, Woodruff, Yarnell, Young, Yucca, Yuma.
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http://www.freespeech.org/kokopeli/latuff/violence.html
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http://www.midiaindependente.org/cmi.pls
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http://marcocapelli.iuma.com
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http://www.wbix.org
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--=={& In Unbreaking Newz}==--
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Wednesday October 3, 2:19 AM
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HAS ANYONE SEEN OUR CROPDUSTER??
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WASHINGTON, Oct 2 (PAWN) - A small cropdusting plane owned by the
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US State Department has gone missing near the Bahamas as it was
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returning to the United States from Colombia, the department said
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Tuesday.
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Last contact with the plane was Monday morning after it left the
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Turks and Caicos Islands, where it had stopped overnight Sunday for
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refueling, according to Gas Station attendent Robert "Bob" Roberts.
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Roberts looked left and right, and then up into the sky shrugging
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his shoulders and rolling his eyes, just as he said, "you got me."
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Roberts said it could be anywhere by now, but really wonders where
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it could have gone.
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"These things don't just get up and walk away you know..."
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CATCH PHRASE OF THE WEEK
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"Twin Towers Terrorism."
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ATI - No longer abusing puts and calls since 1991
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\ .-. .-.
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\ / \ .-. _ .-. / \
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\ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
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\ / \ / `-' `-' \ / \
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\ / `-' `-' \
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`-' `\
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\
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`\
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uh oh... )
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/
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'
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/
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-={[ TOXIC SLUDGE IS MEDIA FOR YOU ]}=-
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A very very short review of a Robert McChesney lecture.
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Milwaukee 28Sep01
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"Where's Orwell when we need him most?"
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"Covers its butt but makes for dreadful journalism."
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McChesney was great!!! More later.
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Promise.
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===]marco[===
|
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oZoMotli , "Embrace The Chaos"
|
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Number 2 on the heatseeker chart its first full week.
|
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You go, guys!!!
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OK, a couple other "notas, muzak" and we'll end this
|
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midweek crisis.
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NAPSTER
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|
|
A poem. by marco
|
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Who's selling shares
|
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Of stock?
|
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|
IPO!!!
|
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|
|
Where do we buy??
|
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SONY, EMD, UNI
|
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|
|
another poem.
|
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If U don't
|
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|
|
Mix down
|
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|
|
2 1 of
|
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|
|
These
|
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|
|
U will stay
|
|||
|
|
Nobody
|
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|
|
Doubletake. WTF?
|
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|
|
Lee Greenwood gets "hot shot debut" by hitting
|
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|
|
#16 of next week's TheHot100. Fine, but one
|
|||
|
|
question. How is a 30 year old song a debut???
|
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|
|
If anyone's wondering, Clear Channel's President
|
|||
|
|
and co-CEO is Rodney Eckerman.
|
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|
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|
|
Happy Birthday M. Karamchand Gandhi. Thank you, thank you thank you.
|
|||
|
|
|
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|
|
]MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[==][MIDWEEK CRISIS[
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Happy Birthday M. Karamchand Gandhi. Thank you, thank you thank you.
|