textfiles/magazines/ATI/ati158.txt

ATI - Our Germane-ness Precedes Us. 


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158



CLINTON BEGS FOR ARTICLE FIVE
DOCTORS GIVE PACK PERMISSION TO WIN
  Headlice you didn't see.

Hello, welcome to ATI. This is issue 158. But of course,
who's counting? We begin with Prime Anarchist's weekly 
column, then we have letters to the editor, then our
phemus #'s run, then assorted other wild raucus caucus
stuff. Happy particles of him peach mint.
-PA-

CLINTON WAGS DOG
pRiME aNArChISTs CoLUmN.
THURSday 1pm EDT.
Strong statement to every member of the MEDIA:
  You suck.
  How many dead? Wounded?! How many homeless.
The war has been raging for scores of hours now and  
nobody knows or cares. You have each broken the 
fundamental principles of your field!!!
  Have you no shame?
  You are all fired.
  The war will not be televised. If you cannot be troubled
with wrestling over the death-count; struggling over the 
difficult details that must be minded at all costs, if the
sublime beauty of the war, the night sky over baghdad,
stuff like that is more important to you than the facts,
then go home.
  You suck.
  Go home.

part 2. (final part) Bob Livingston,
What's with this "6 months" doo doo?
You're resigning? Go home today and shut up.
Leave your office - go home. Pack up your stuff.
Take your Columbia State University diplomas 
off my walls and go home.
Do not pass go, do not collect 6 months pay.
Go directly to home.
You whining little maggot.
  You want my opinion, let's bring every Senator
and Congressperson in under oath and play 20 
questions. If any of them DON'T LIE, why, we'll
work with all 5 (five) of them. 
   Clear the bench.
   Bob Livingston, Shut up.



------------------------------
Lettuce For Your Chewing Over:
------------------------------

ATI:
I live in North Mississippi using Bell South.
I know that there is a number one can dial 
that will prompt an automated response to 
let you know the number you are dialing from.
(ID the line number) I see the Bell South guys 
do it with their butt-sets all the time to ID
the line they are checking out.
I would like to know this number if anyone knows it.
Please email me if you can help.
Thanks in advance!!!!!
jawdoc@netbci.com (601)

Marco,
Why the *$^% did you ask  *me*  about Sam Kinneson?!?
I saw Sam back in my military days.
He was pretty awesome. He was on fire.
He asked us about our stools.
He was funny.
He owed me a lot of money, 
so he played in a theatre in town
instead of the comedy club I used to perform in.
His last couple years he traveled with 4 armed guards 
who were instructed to hurt or kill anyone 
who came up asking for money.
I feel sorry for him. He was funny. 
He thought he was Jesus.
His penis was crooked.
He told us that.
Jesus would have said that, 
if it was true.
Sam Kinneson was Jesus.
Don't excommunicate me, it's true.
   Gonzo (415)


You know you've opened yourself up 
for some interesting (and hopefully 
good natured) replies with that 
last typo
Mike :-)  (202)


To ATI:
Which came first - the parry or the thrust?
High Crimes & Misdemeanors?
A Clear & Present Danger?
Signed,
The Ko-Respondant (01 964 1)


Marco
here is a transcipt of a "dylan original" benny hill did,
of all cazy things to find on the web.
i remember this it was quite good.
maybe you can print it somehwre (ati??)
  -Jeff

In an early 80's episode of "The Benny Hill Show", 
Hill performed a very poignant song while
impersonating Bob Dylan. Here it is...

"A couple settled down with their newborn child
and their marriage was falling to bits.
The mother said "Let's call him Johnny."
and the father said "Let's call it quits!"
When Johnny was four, his Pa was too poor
to buy toys from the Christmas shop shelf
So he fired his gun and told his young son
that Father Christmas had shot himself
Now one day his Ma took him to a fair
and he went on the roundabout
He giggled with glee and said,
"I wanna go wee!"
Everyone heard the boy shout.
She took him by the hand and from the fairground they ran
She took him behind a big tree
She said, "Now shut your row. ou can go wee now!"
He took a deep breath and yelled "Wee!"
Then he said "Please can we go 'round again?
Please, Ma, can we go 'round again?
I love the sound of the merry-go-round
I wanna go 'round again.
I'll do all of my homework,
I'll even kiss old Auntie Gwen
I won't shout out loud
Ma, I'll make ya proud
Please let me go 'round again."
At 12, he danced with his headmistress.
She said, "Johnny, you're wicked and bad.
I wish I was your Ma for just half an hour."
John said, "I think I'll have a word with my dad."
Someone dropped a lit cigarette
Down the back of her dress but she didn't shout.
She just walked off the floor and said,
"What a bore!
I guess I'll just sit this one out."
Then John said, "Please can we go 'round again Miss Rose?
Please can we go 'round again?
I have never been this close to a woman before
and heck knows when I will again.
I tell you true I can dance with you
Till the cows come home
and then I can dance with a cow so please, Miss Rose
let me go 'round again."
At 18, Irene with the hourglass figure
Got Johnny in a heck of a fix.
Her Pa came 'round and Jonny was found
with his hands on a quarter to six.
They were married the next day
in the church by the bay,
10 am on the 15th of June.
She looked lovely in white as she said,
"Johnny...tonight."
Johnny said "The heck with tonight. It's afternoon!"
Can we go 'round again?
In the meantime, we can go 'round again.
I tell ya I haven't been as happy as this
since I can't remember when.
Seein' you lay there beside me damn near blows my mind.
Oh please can we go 'round again and again
and then 'round again one more time?!
At 50, he took to comin' home late
But he wasn't a creature of habit.
If he came home early,
his wife thought he was after something
If he came home late,she thought that he'd had it!
Johnny's mother-in-law came to live next door
Her tounge stung John like a bee
She said, "I'll dance on your grave!"
John said "Now that's a brace,
'cause I'm gonna be buried at sea!"
He was just 91 on the day he passed on
It was the way he thought it would be.
He was shot by the beauty queen's husband
in a fit of jealousy.
As he lay on the floor, the priest was sent foreward
and with his last breath, Johnny confessed,
"I spend all my money on women and drink
and like a fool I squandered the rest!"
Lord, can I go 'round again?
Please, can I go 'round again?
I can't believe that I'll never see your sky or trees again.
The girls and the wine and the livin' was fine
and I shouldn't complain but then...
You give damn short rides on this fairground of your's Lord,
Oh please let me go 'round again!!!

M-
The beetle recognizes the other.
M- (01 525)

Warrior Poet Society
Sunday, Nov 8, 3pm
At Wetlands Preserve, 161
Hudson Street, NYC.
Bring Poetry & Songs
[ed: oops. got it too late.]

Hey Prime!
Is Oliver North's aura gray or what?
He's materially wealthy yet spiritually
bankrupt.
Maria Faulkner. (215)

---
ATI - The Rag Read Round the Rotisserie
---

A REPORT FROM THE FRONT: At Least the Georgia
One. By David.

I'd say less than half the crowd crossed. 
So there were at least 4,000 some-odd total, 
and some estimates were as high as seven thousand. 
No one was technically "arrested" at all. 
No one was processed, there was no attempt made 
to segregate second "offenders", and many of us simply got
off the busses without waiting to be given permission. 
The "ban and bar" letters given out were only for the day, 
and most folks refused them or turned them in to be 
returned in bulk. Dropping us off in the park was a
tactical booboo on the cops part. 
We had two non-permitted marches though
working class residential neighborhoods, 
a neat and unexpected propaganda opportunity.
soli,
David
        
hola, #'s run. 4 U!
http://www.pen.org/freedom/poem.htm
http://www.fhrg.org/chiaps1.htm
http://www.pyramid.net/comfortzine
http://www.mindspring.com/~fragments
http://www.furious.com/~jstearns/firesign.html
http://flag.blackened.net/revolt/mexico.html
http://eng.hss.cmu.edu/bs/24/sauer.html
http://www.cybergrrlz.com
http://www.thebird.org
http://pw1.netcom.com/~kappel1/int.html
http://www.freespeech.org/kokopeli
http://www.adbusters.org


. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
.  ATTN:  Zinesters, Hipsters, Yippies...     .
. Cap 'N Crunch   (aka  john  draper)         .
. is in  need  of  customers.                 .
.If you would  like a  website with  really   .
.spiffy looking  graphics and a button saying .
.something   like  "made by  Cap 'N Crunch"   .
.send contact info along,  and  ATI  will get .
.             him in  touch with  you.        .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


DEAD KENNEDY SPEAKS OUT ABOUT DEATHROW INMATE
   Typed in for ATI by Graeme
This is for those of you who may be wondering what
Jello Biafra said in his new spoken word CD 
"If Evolution is Outlawed Only Outlaws Will Evolve" 
concerning Mumia Abu-Jamal. 

"This is only supposed to happen in the movies... 
An innocent person when they least expect it falls 
into an unbelievable chain of events and finds
themselves accused of a crime they could not 
possibly have committed. 
Every step in the justice system goes wrong, 
all seems hopeless as the camera rolls closer 
and closer to the death chamber, until finally, 
at the very last minute, the authorities are 
proven wrong and the accused is set free to
live happily ever after as the credits roll. 
After all, this is America, where these sort 
of nightmares do not happen, because our 
justice system is fair...
   [ed note: Graeme wants you to "Think of Biafra as Bill Hicks 
  without as many jokes." If that doesn't bother you, he recommends
  you check him out. Biafra's record label, Alternative Tentacles,
   is also releasing some spoken word stuff by Mumia. wait more...]
"Now imagine that you are a respected, award-winning 
and courageous journalist whose news reports are sometimes 
critical of a notoriously violent and corrupt police department. 
Suddenly the nightmare happens to you... Shot through the liver 
at the scene of a crime, instead of helping you the cops beat you 
as you lie on the sidewalk and allegedly beat you again inside 
the hospital... 
Not in Haiti, not in China but in the United States of America... 
when you wake up from surgery the nightmare is still there, 
you are the one accused of what the corporate media tells us 
is the 'ultimate unforgiveable sin': killing a police officer. 
You have no criminal record, ballistics tests don't add up, 
there is plenty of evidence that you did not and could not 
commit this crime, but the nightmare just gets worse.
Evidence that could clear you disappears, witnesses disappear, 
a judge who has sentenced more than twice as many people to death 
than anyone else in the United States denies you a competent lawyer 
AND denies you the right to defend yourself. Appeals are denied 
by the very judges who ruled the opposite way in almost identical 
cases... not in Mexico, not in Nigeria but in the United States of 
America. 
And unlike the movies, this time a headline-hungry governor 
salivates like a giggling crocodile, eager to put a black man 
to death with the stroke of a pen, to hold up as a trophy to
enhance his political career..."


PRIME ANARCHIST wishes a happy 30th birthday to the mouse.

The fish in the water - an allegory maybe - 
as retold by some zapatista. 
 Old Antonio tells a history that the oldest of the old of
his community told him. 
        There once was a very beautiful fish...
that lived in the river. The lion saw the fish and he had a 
craving to eat it. The lion went to the river but he saw that
he could not swim in the river and attack the fish. The lion 
asked for advice from the opossum who told him, "It's simple.
The fish cannot live without water. The only thing you have to
do is to drink the water from the river and that way the fish
will stay without moving and then you can attack it and eat it."
The lion was pleased with the opossum's advice and he paid him
with a high position in his kingdom.
 The lion went to the edge of the river and began to drink the
liquid.
 He died bursting from the water.
 The opossum remained unemployed.
 Tan tan.


Well, as they say in some sexist think-tank,
"That's all she wrote."

We end with a Christmas Parody by marco.
For pair of D's are the best form of flattened trees.

Oh, you'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
Stay in bed, I'm telling you why:
Cynical is coming to town.

It's murphy's law
Whatever can will
You're gonna find out; it's worse elsewhere still.
Cynical is coming; to town.

 They'll get you while you're sleeping
 It's worse when you're awake 
 It'll happen anytime of day
 Murphy's law for goodness sake.

Oh, you'd better watch out
You'd better not cry,
Stay in bed, I'm telling you why:
Cynical is coming to town,
   Cynical is making you frown!

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