241 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
241 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
|
MENDICITY 101 by Marc Frucht. May 20, 1995
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
I've been told I can't:
|
||
|
|
Beg, bum, canvass,
|
||
|
|
Freeload, hustle, idle
|
||
|
|
Linger, loiter; lolligag:
|
||
|
|
Mooch, panhandle, solicit
|
||
|
|
Sponge or tramp.
|
||
|
|
But I don't think anyone
|
||
|
|
Has ever had enough spine to
|
||
|
|
Look me eye to eye saying,
|
||
|
|
"I don't want you to
|
||
|
|
Play your guitar here."
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Welcome to ATI issue 114. The first Sunday in February, 1998.
|
||
|
|
Hygienic weekend for those of you in-the-know:
|
||
|
|
The Special Onion Issue.
|
||
|
|
Dedicated to Topless Vegetables.
|
||
|
|
I'm prime anarchist and this is the numbers run for 2131 hours.
|
||
|
|
http://remain.com
|
||
|
|
http://www.not.com
|
||
|
|
http://www.onion.com
|
||
|
|
http://www.theonion.com
|
||
|
|
Prime Anarchist Productions' contributing editors Crick and Crack,
|
||
|
|
the Grackle brothers sat in the 3rd and 1st rows at Bob Dylan's
|
||
|
|
1st '98 show and then neither interviewed him NOR threw onions at
|
||
|
|
him, but they did get this in to Marco:
|
||
|
|
http://www.downcity.net/downcity/current/dylan.html
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
SAY IT AIN'T SO JOE
|
||
|
|
by Prime Anarchist
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Paul Harvey for Walmart, inc.
|
||
|
|
This t-phile is tear-stained, people.
|
||
|
|
Why?
|
||
|
|
Why?? Why?!?
|
||
|
|
I believed in you, Paul. Your dad too. What happened???
|
||
|
|
Paul Harvey, you're a bigger sell-out than the
|
||
|
|
Mighty mighty Bosstones.
|
||
|
|
There is no joy in Scudville.
|
||
|
|
Next thing you know Saddam Hussein'll be hawking Pepsi products!!!
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
AAA TTTTT IIIII
|
||
|
|
A A T I
|
||
|
|
AAA T I THE RAG READ ROUND THE WORLD
|
||
|
|
A A T I
|
||
|
|
A A T I
|
||
|
|
A A T IIIII
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Well, Clinton's pissing me off too. Here's a quick op-ed
|
||
|
|
from your's truly. $2000 incentive for anyone putting
|
||
|
|
solar panels on their roof Bill Clinton said. State of the
|
||
|
|
Onion address. Bill you dork. Call it what it is. Stop lying
|
||
|
|
to us. Your penis, I mean your nose, is getting bigger than
|
||
|
|
your nose, er, uh, I mean your penis. That wasn't your idea.
|
||
|
|
Carter put it up for 3 years
|
||
|
|
and then Reagan killed it. Now you. Makes me wonder who
|
||
|
|
thought it up BEFORE Carter. Probably Eisenhower!!!
|
||
|
|
You want history to smile upon you Billary, make all busses
|
||
|
|
free in every city with a smog level of 10 and up.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
WARP. Woodworkers Alliance for Rainforest Protection. Now that's
|
||
|
|
a concept. Somebody get me that URL.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
/\
|
||
|
|
/ \
|
||
|
|
/ ! \
|
||
|
|
/ !!! \
|
||
|
|
/ PRIME \
|
||
|
|
/ANARCHIST \
|
||
|
|
/ SUX SHIT \
|
||
|
|
\ What some/are saying about the 3rd Midweek Crisis. (wednesday
|
||
|
|
end of January)
|
||
|
|
(the bill clinton one if you need to keyword search)
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
"So when is the next issue of ATI comeing (sic) out?"
|
||
|
|
gore@whitehouse.gov
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
"Sorry, I don't have time for this kind of stuff. Good magazine
|
||
|
|
but who cares if he leaked?"
|
||
|
|
Hans T.
|
||
|
|
Utrecht School of the Arts
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
"I'm sorry I cannot respond to your query. I am employed to
|
||
|
|
support developers (programmers) Consequently, I cannot justify
|
||
|
|
providing customer-level support."
|
||
|
|
splitterofinfinitives@apple.com
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
"Can't be for real. Clinton could never deliver a speech
|
||
|
|
that short. ;) "
|
||
|
|
RS 860
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
"Prime Anarchist Sux Shit."
|
||
|
|
happy@thekeyboard.com
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: The information contained in this transmission
|
||
|
|
is considered by the sender to be confidential. This material is
|
||
|
|
intended only for the use of the recipient named above. If the reader
|
||
|
|
or other recipient of this material is not the intended recipient
|
||
|
|
named above, please notify me and delete this transmission. Thank
|
||
|
|
You.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
New Verse To Joplin's "Mercedes Benz."
|
||
|
|
Lord won't you buy me
|
||
|
|
Virtual Reality.
|
||
|
|
Been slaving my life away
|
||
|
|
Please help me to see.
|
||
|
|
Worked hard all my lifetime
|
||
|
|
Paying all these bills
|
||
|
|
(for me)
|
||
|
|
Lord won't you buy me
|
||
|
|
Virtual reality.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
THIS IS OUR PEACE DIVIDEND??? by the Prime Anarchist.
|
||
|
|
Your household homer.
|
||
|
|
Or was that your homely housemate?
|
||
|
|
Heavenly Whorehouse?
|
||
|
|
Wholehearted half-ass?
|
||
|
|
Heavenly hash.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
I spent $37 on a peace sign at 7-11
|
||
|
|
$27 for a tie-dye at the mall
|
||
|
|
17 bucks for a Bobby Dylan CD.
|
||
|
|
'N 7 dollars for a friendship bracelet
|
||
|
|
at Wal-Mart.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Lord it's expensive to be a hippy these days
|
||
|
|
God I hate it when they charge you to drop out.
|
||
|
|
Look at my button fly bell-bottoms
|
||
|
|
They're 501's with an attitude.
|
||
|
|
Cost me $75 for an hour at the range
|
||
|
|
To rip these bullet holes
|
||
|
|
in the legs.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Isn't it cool when you say
|
||
|
|
Groovy, neat-o and bananas all in
|
||
|
|
The same sentence?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
I had granola, milk, bananas,
|
||
|
|
Yogurt and a bran muffin with my
|
||
|
|
Steakum sandwich.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Can I put my Goodwill purchase on Mastercard
|
||
|
|
Or visa?
|
||
|
|
C'mon dude. McDonalds lets me eat.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Lord it's avante garde to be Yippie, these ways.
|
||
|
|
I flash a peace sign at my
|
||
|
|
Drill sargent and he waves his
|
||
|
|
Bamboo love beads at me from around his neck.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Peace is a force to be reckoned with.
|
||
|
|
Forces of peace. I'm a peace-force.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
I'm the hippy from hell with my
|
||
|
|
VW superbeetle pre-restored and painted
|
||
|
|
Dayglo.
|
||
|
|
Only costing my dad $259 a month and he
|
||
|
|
Doesn't even make me pay for the insurance.
|
||
|
|
And it takes super-unleaded too.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
I spent $37 on a peace sign at 7-11
|
||
|
|
$27 for a tie-dye at the mall
|
||
|
|
17 bucks for a Bobby Dylan CD.
|
||
|
|
'N 7 dollars for a friendship bracelet
|
||
|
|
at Wal-Mart.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
|
||
|
|
/Part 2 (continued from issue 111) of the Infinite Onion /
|
||
|
|
/ Prime Anarchist Interview /
|
||
|
|
/ will continue in issue 115; for we went long. /
|
||
|
|
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Send all contributions and whatever else to:
|
||
|
|
ati@etext.org
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Free subscription to this weekly zine can be gotten at:
|
||
|
|
listserv@brazerko.com
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Just put:
|
||
|
|
SUBSCRIBE ATI
|
||
|
|
as the entire message.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Get back issues at
|
||
|
|
http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/cygnus.html
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
We end with a poem because:
|
||
|
|
After the world pops;
|
||
|
|
myth is all we got...
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
PLATH CAN'T PUT A BRUSH IN A POEM BUT I'LL PUT
|
||
|
|
IN AN ATTEMPT by the collegiate.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
I really can
|
||
|
|
It can't be too hard, can it?
|
||
|
|
Here I'll try to build a poem
|
||
|
|
Which has a toothbrush in it.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
It's a small one
|
||
|
|
But the bristles are hard, sort of
|
||
|
|
A poem with a softer brush
|
||
|
|
Might be harder to have heard of.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Does this work?
|
||
|
|
Or does it kind of flounder, for you.
|
||
|
|
Here I apply some cleansing agent-
|
||
|
|
In case of blunder. Wouldn't you?
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
For your grin,
|
||
|
|
A toothbrush -- a little poem, take it
|
||
|
|
My gift, uplifting scrub hold the handle
|
||
|
|
A chance, like Plath with plaque I took it.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
Not half bad
|
||
|
|
At least it doesn't fail, badly.
|
||
|
|
Maybe it even pulls a smile
|
||
|
|
From within, when you feel badly.
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
||
|
|
That's it.
|
||
|
|
Prime saying
|
||
|
|
If you payed for this
|
||
|
|
You
|
||
|
|
Got
|
||
|
|
Ripped
|
||
|
|
Off
|
||
|
|
...
|