118 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
118 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
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WEIRD NEWS VOLUME 3
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STATE SEX
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- Theaters in North Carolina recently began showing, as a short
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feature, a state-funded film advocating teenage sexual abstinence.
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In "The Power To Create Life," a teenage couple in a car are
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contemplating having sex until the sky lights up and an alien
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emperor implores, "You have the power to create life. Don't abuse
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it!" The kids decide to go to a movie instead.
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OOOPS!!
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- Minneapolis prosecutors were expecting a long and difficult
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child molesting trial against Robert G. Swan because the
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incriminating photographs they had of him blurred his face. Then,
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in January, his wife brought Swan, who was in jail, a fresh change
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of clothing for his court appearance, giving him the very articles
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he was wearing in the photographs. After the clothing turned up,
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Swan quickly pleaded guilty.
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- Xavier Hunter, 26, was arrested in Chicago in December of
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robbing the Citibank Federal Savings Bank. Unknown to him,
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President Bush was speaking at the Chicago Board of Trade, less
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than a block away, at the time, and the neighborhood was thus full
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of police officers. As Hunter exited the bank, the chemical dye
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pack in his bounty exploded, alerting the many nearby officers, who
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chased him down despite his futile attempt to abandon the money by
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throwing it into the air as he ran.
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- In St Louis in January, Thomas Hall pulled into what looked
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like a fast food restaurant's drive thru to place an order.
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However, the drive thru speaker he yelled into was an intercom
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stand at the Area III St Louis police station. An officer came out
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and arrested Hall for DUI. (The next day, after Hall's arrest made
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local news, DJ "Wacky Pat" Fortune drove up to the same intercom
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stand to out a gag for his listeners. However, an officer checked
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Fortune out on the computer, discovered unpaid traffic violations,
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and arrested him as a fugitive.)
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- James Bridgewater, 32, was arrested in Kankakee, Illinois,
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after a mishap at the First of America Bank's drive-in window. He
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was carrying two white sacks, one containing money for deposit and
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the other containing two grams of marijuana and rolling papers.
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He put the wrong bag in the pneumatic tube.
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TEACHER FROM HELL
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- To quell unruly seventh graders in Irvington, New Jersey, in
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February, substitute teacher Monique Bazile, 57, cast a voodoo
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spell on the class. According to pupils, Bazile began shaking and
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chanting, threw ritual powder on the kids, and warned them that
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their houses would burn down because of their rowdiness. Criminal
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charges of endangering the welfare of a child and making
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terroristic threats were brought against her.
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- Milford, Utah, high-school teacher Cherry Florence was fired
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in February for an indiscretion. According to the local board of
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education, after the school, for health reasons, interviewed
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students individually as to their level of sexual activity,
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Florence released to her classes a list of which of the school's
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170 teenagers were virgins.
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- Acting Principal Steven Stocker, 31, voted Fredericksburg,
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Virginia, outstanding young educator in 1988, was arrested in
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January after he engaged a 9 year old girl in what the district
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attorney called a servant-master game. Stocker, the servant, had
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allegedly kissed the girl's feet and sucked her toes.
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- The board of education in Worthington Hills, near Columbus,
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Ohio, disciplined teacher Alan Brady in February on charges that
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he poked a student teacher in her backside with a fork and that he
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had third-graders line up and jump on and hit a fellow student who
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had been bad.
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- Immokalee, Florida, substitute teacher, Krystal Gail Allen,
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was fired in January after parents complained that she described
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her sex life in great detail to an eighth-grade geography class and
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invited students to share their own tales with her. One student
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had recorded the class.
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FOOLS !!
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- In January, burglars at Rich's department store in Salem,
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Massachusetts, were forced to flee empty handed after the welding
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torch they were using to break into a safe accidentally ignited the
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money inside, causing a fire and setting off the store's smoke
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alarm.
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REAL WEIRD
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- Daniel Hendricks, 34, of St Louis, was charged in February
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with several counts of aggravated battery in Tampa for ramming at
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least six cars on an interstate highway and forcing others off the
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road as he sped at 100mph toward nearby Clearwater, Florida, where
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Barbara Bush was speaking. Hendricks told police he had to warn
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Mrs. Bush that Saddam Hussein was preparing to invade the U.S.
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I SAY FRY HIM !!
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- Montique Ramon Brown, 18, surrendered to Richmond, Virginia,
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police in March, telling them he was the one who had shot a man to
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death at 12:05 AM on January 1st. He told police he did it because
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he wanted to be the person who committed Richmond's first murder
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of 1992.
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