81 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
81 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
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Here are more tests for our Bibliolators...
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Stronger test... Luke 10:19: Jesus says that his disciples can
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walk on scorpions and snakes. Not everyone has a roomful of snakes.
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However you can get a large, covered jar with a "little" something
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in it. Make sure the testee can't see inside the jar. Ask your
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testee to put his hand in the jar and wiggle it around. Any
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reluctance shows weak faith, not someone you'd want to listen too.
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Weaker test: 1 Cor. 7:29: St. Paul says to cut out sex. If
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they are married are they still making love to their spouse?
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Stronger test: Matt. 10:18: Jesus sends out his disciples to
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heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, etc. Again be skeptical and ask
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the testee if they are really from Jesus? They could be from a
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false teacher or worse yet, the devil. If they assure you they are
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from Jesus test them. Ask for a demonstration of healing the sick,
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raising the dead and cleansing lepers. Since lepers aren't around
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AIDS patients can be substituted.
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Weaker test: When the Bibliolator shows up at your door
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express concern. You don't want to be duped by a fraud. Ask them if
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the description in Luke 14:26 fits them. "If any man comes to me
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and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and
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brethern, and sistern, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my
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disciple." How does that fit in with loving others? If the
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evangelist really hates their spouses and family why all the
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concern about living forever in heaven with these people?
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Stronger test: Matt 10:17-18: As the conversation goes on be
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sure you have the genuine article. Ask if this person has ever been
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flogged in a synagogue or dragged before governors and kings for
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Jesus's sake. The answer is almost certainly no. But continue with
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Matt 10:21-22. "And brother shall deliver brother up to death, and
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the father the child; and the children shall rise up against their
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parents, and cause them to be put to death, and ye shall be hated
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of all men for my name's sake..." Ask "Have you had family problems
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like these?" Then "Does everyone hate you because of Jesus?" The
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answer to both questions is almost certainly no. Say sadly and
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gravely that you are afraid this person is not the real article.
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Send them away into darkness. You want to learn about Jesus from
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the right kind of person as described in Matthew.
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Weaker test: After the testee has made their opening spiel
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just ask "Are you morally perfect?" Christians make a big deal of
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saying they are not perfect, just forgiven. Read Matthew 5:48 wherein
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Jesus says in the red letter edition, "Be ye perfect, even as your
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Father which is in heaven is perfect." The answer is almost surely
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no. Solemnly note this is an imperative, not a maybe. Bibliolators
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should thank you for pointing out their flaw. Tell the testee to
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come back when they are morally perfect.
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Stronger test: If the Bibliolator is a woman ask her if women
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are allowed to speak aloud in the congregation. If the answer is
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yes, cite Paul's first letter to Timothy 2:11-12 "Let the woman
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learn in silence with all subjection, but I suffer not a woman to
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teach, nor to ursup authority over man, but to be in silence." If
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she still answers yes ask why that is ignored. What other commands
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are ignored? Why?
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Stronger test: Bibliolators seldom play fair. If the
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Bibliolator pleads with you to read the Bible or pray everyday, or
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attend church, or say a little prayer, present your own proposal.
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Say "Sure I will, if you'll do something for me. Go out into the
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woods alone where you won't be seen or embarrassed. Call upon the
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wood spirits and water nympths to give you good luck. And say this
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prayer...
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Lord Cernunnos, I have been so confused lately that I have
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forgotten you. Please forgive me my sins. If you exist please
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manifest your being in my life. Thank you."
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Since this looks like idolatry in the Bibliolators eyes they
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will not agree and you won't have to keep your bargain either. They
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will leave.
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Enough for now. Have a good time with this...
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B*B Ammond Shadowcraft
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