65 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
65 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
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Have you ever wondered who the slobs sitting up in the board room think the
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audience is when they issue their midday commercials? You know, the commercials
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you see when your watching a repeat of a show you've seen nine times? It was
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made before 1972 and it seems that your TV isn't putting out enough green.
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These guys think we are all alcoholic slobs who have among other things
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chemical dependency, a couple of unfinished divorces, the education of a third
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grader, and desperate need for a green card even though we were born in Des
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Moines. Lets review the well to do artists that appear between Leave It To
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Beaver and The Twilight Zone.
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We'll start with the Bryman School. Here you'll be working with dentists
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(probably Dr. Cambell) cleaning some little brats teeth or telling some ex-con
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his next appointment will be in four months. They may be O.K. but the wheels
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on the bottom of their trailer-school make me a little worried about quick
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getaways. Then comes Airco Technical School. They appear a little more
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reputable. They even interview some guy on the job telling how his life has
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changed....
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Interviewer: 'Say Willie, come on over here and read, ah I mean, ah tell the
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people out there your success with our school.
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Willie: 'Ya man, I ain't had no schoolin or nothin and when I came here to
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Airco I got me myself an ejumacation and as soon as probation officer picks me
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up after work i can spend my doe. If you'll excuse'm me I's gotta go.'
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Interviewer: 'Well folks there you have it another graduate from Airco Tech.'
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If you haven't been insulted yet along comes Larry Parker. He would just love
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to dip his greedy little hands in your in to your pocket and makeoff with his
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share of your misery expenses. One of these days he'll probably have a special
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bonus: come in before the end of the month and get a free whiplash collar. His
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buddy, I forgot his name, cries out 'It doesn't matter what the insurance policy
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says it whats the law says...'. Don't they realize the insurance company IS the
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law?
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The booze police come next.
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The make priests feel guilty at Sunday mass. They always show two
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millionaires talking out in front of one their houses looking at a dent in the
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neighbors by laughing at your wrecked Porsche?
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The next commercial really makes you fell a like there is hope. At Control
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Datayou'll be designing space stations in as little as two weeks with your
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Bachelors of Engineering and Computer Technology Degree (crapola). They really
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amaze me. I know guys who have real PhD's and and can't evan work a soldering
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iron. How come the instructors there have no teeth and always have a brown bag
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under their desk ?Last (and definitely least) comes our favorite clown. You can
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guess who he is. He comes from the east. Strike one. He wears a perm to add
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cool California youth. Strike two. Right! Its Len from public insurance.
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He's not an athlete or any famous movie celebrity. His clientele consists 8
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time convicted drunk drivers and cousins of Ma Barkers getaway gang drivers. He
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is going to give you a really great deal. His scale starts at assigned risk!
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You can drive as long as its only to church and to the mail box to pay your
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premiums. But remember:'Its no prawblim.'
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Oh well, I got to go now. As soon as Im finished with this drink I going to
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eat breakfast and pick up my kids from the custody of their mother. Those
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little punks better shut up because I got to study for my welding test. Today
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(hiccup) we 're being test on how to repair dents in our cars.
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C.O. 1985
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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