47 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
47 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
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Dear Mother and Dad:
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It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss
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in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having
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written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on,
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please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY!
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Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the
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concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it
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caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only get
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those sick headaches once a day.
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Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant
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at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the fire
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department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since
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I had nowhere to live, because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough
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to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room,
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but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in
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love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but
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it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.
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Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward
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to being grrandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the
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love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a chld. The reason
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for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection
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which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests and I carelessly
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caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections
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I am taking daily.
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I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and
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although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different
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race and religion than ours, I know your oft expressed tolerance will not
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permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker
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than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is
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good too, for I am told that his father is an important gun-bearer in the
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village in Africa from which he came.
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Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was
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no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was
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not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I do not have
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syphillis and there is no man (of any color) in my life. However, I am getting
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a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science and I wanted you to see those marks
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in the proper perspective.
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Yours-
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Your Loving Daughter
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