171 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
171 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
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The Fifth Precinct
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[502] 245-8270
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Presents
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The LAW ENFORCEMENT Translator
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[+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+]
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Police work, like any profession has its own jargon and set of terms and there
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is sometimes a problem in translating these words from what they appear to be
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saying to what they really do mean. In police recruit training, the novice is
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taught literally hundreds of these words and catch phrases which are used in all
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reports. By using this guide, you will be able to decipher the TRUE meaning of
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some of the most commonly used terms and phrases.
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===============================================================================
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WHAT IS SAID WHAT IS MEANT
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===============================================================================
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While on routine patrol... I was in the car because the coffee
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shop was closed.
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The motorist was operating his vehicle He had a bumper sticker that said
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in a reckless manner... "SLOW DOWN--DON'T FEED THE PIGS"
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The accident scene and the safety of It was raining.
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the victims prevented this officer
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from doing traffic control.
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This officer went out-of-service to It was too hot to ride in the car.
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to obtain intelligence informaton
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from a street informant.
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I observed the suspect acting in a The dirt-bag let go with an 'Oink'
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suspicious manner... as I walked by.
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Knowing the suspect had a criminal He puked on my uniform one night...
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history...
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The informant is of known credibility I've got two theft cases hanging over
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and has provided reliable information his head...
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in the past...
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While being arrested, this subject He ripped my shirt and broke my new
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resisted being injured in the act... mirror sunglasses...
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The motorist was cited for multiple I wrote him one citation for each
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traffic violations... swear-word he used...
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Upon announcing my title and purpose The rock music was so loud they
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I heard a voice from inside the house wouldn't have heard Patton's army
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say 'Come in' so this writer entered so I kicked in the door.
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through the door.
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The members of the press at the scene I sent them to a non-exsistent
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were offered every courtesy within address which I called the 'Command
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departmental policies... Post'
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I gave the motorist a verbal warning She was a good-looking blonde who
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for speeding... owned a liquor store and who was
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free after my shift was over.
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The Chief appeared at the scene and I sent him to the same address as
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took command. the reporters.
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Further interview of the witnesses was Tonight is my bowling night...
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impossible, due to conditions.
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The motorist's eyes were glassy, he He was howling at the moon and trying
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had slurred speech, was unsteady on to drive the car from the back
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on his feet, and smelled strongly of seat.
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alcohol.
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Using only enough force to restrain the My favorite song is 'Dropkick me
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subject... Jesus Through the Goal Post of
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Life'.
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The defendant asked this officer's I told him he didn't have the balls
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advice on how to act before the judge to call te judge the same name he
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at his arraignment... called me.
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===============================================================================
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COMMON PHRASES USED BY THE DISTRICT ATTORNEYS
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===============================================================================
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WHAT IS SAID WHAT IS MEANT
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===============================================================================
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Officer, we've decided to grant the I haven't read any of the paperwork
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defendant more time to prepare his and don't know what's going on.
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case.
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The People have decided not to It's my bowling night...
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prosecute.
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We will entertain a motion for a I don't stand a chance against this
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reduction in this matter. defense attorney...
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I agree with the court that this case I've got a civil case before the
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is not strong enough to go with... Judge next week and need to butter
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him up a little.
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Officer, why don't you run down the The office lost the case file.
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high points of the case for me again.
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Really Officer, did the defendant hurt The last time I saw any bloodshed
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you that much? was when a girl punched me in the
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nose in the 5th grade.
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If we dismiss the case, the defendant The defendant's lawyer is my brother-
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won't sue you. in-law.
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The defendant is an upstanding citizen He's highly connected in politics and
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who made one tiny mistake. I'm running for office next year.
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===============================================================================
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COMMENTS OVERHEARD AT ROLL CALL
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===============================================================================
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WHAT IS SAID WHAT IS MEANT
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===============================================================================
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Honest Sarge, I used up all my issue That issued ammo isn't worth a snow-
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ammo at the range. ball in hell. You need hot loads to
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put a man down.
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I want special attention paid to the The mayor saw some kids on his street
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street crime problem on Elm Street corner after dark last night.
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tonight.
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We need more PR work. There's been too It's an election year.
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much time spent writing tickets.
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That stain on my tie is blood, Sarge. The ketchup bottle down at the diner
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It won't come out in the wash. leaks.
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Effective today, we will be riding It's an optical illusion to make the
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in one-man rather than two-man cars. public think we have enough officers
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It's more effective. to patrol the area.
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I want late watch cars to check in If I can't sleep, you can't sleep.
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over the radio every hour for safety
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reasons.
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I'd like to introduce you to the new He couldn't control the animals in
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Lieutenant who has a great amount of the Tactical unit and didn't smile
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experience in other units. enough for Community Relations.
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===============================================================================
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OFFICERS CALLING HOME
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===============================================================================
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WHAT IS SAID WHAT IS MEANT
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===============================================================================
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Honest, honey, it's a stake-out and I'm going to an after-shift party
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they told me I would have to work all and it's gonna be a barn burner.
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night.
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Boy! Did I have a rough day. It's a The sergeant chewed me out twice and
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jungle out there. I need a drink.
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My part in the operation was critical. I was sent to a vacant lot with the
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I had to protect the brass and the Chief and a couple of guys from
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members of the press. the newspapers.
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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