64 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
64 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
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DRIVE YOUR KARMA, CURB YOUR DOGMA
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Swami Beyondananda's Guidelines for Enlightenment (edited)
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1. Be a Fundamentalist -- ensure the Fun always comes before
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the mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that
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will never be canceled. A laugh track has been provided,
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and the reason why we are put in the material world is to
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get more material. Have a good laughsitive twice a day, and
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that will ensure regularhilarity.
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2. Remember that each of us has been given a special gift --
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just for entering. So you are already a winner!
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3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision.
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That is where I tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision
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to me. That way, if we don't like the programming we're
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getting, we can change the channel.
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4. Life is like photography, you use the negative to develop.
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And, no matter what adversity you face, be reassured: Of
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course God loves you -- He's just not ready to make a
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commitment.
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5. It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts,
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thought particles tend to get caught between the ears,
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causing a condition called truth decay. So be sure to use
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mental floss twice a day. And when you're tempted to
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practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in Swami's
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Absurdiveness Training class: "Don't get even, get odd."
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6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments
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and truly live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you,
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you no mad at me. That way, there'll surely be nomadness on
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the planet. And peace begins with each of us. A little
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peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all the peaces
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will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.
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7. I know great earth changes have been predicted for the
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future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice
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is simple. When you find a fault, just don't dwell on it.
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8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is
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toilet train the world, and we'll never have to change it
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again.
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9. If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have
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some bad news and some good news. The bad news is -- there
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is no key to the Universe. The good news is -- it has been
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left unlocked.
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10. Finally, everything I have told you is channelled. That
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way, if you don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember,
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enlightenment is not bureaucracy. So you don't have to go
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through channels.
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