60 lines
1.9 KiB
Plaintext
60 lines
1.9 KiB
Plaintext
|
From slocum@hi-csc.UUCP Fri May 12 08:49:04 1989
|
|||
|
|
From: slocum@hi-csc.UUCP (Brett Slocum)
|
|||
|
|
Subject: definitions of cooking terms
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
(These are from my brother-in-law, Bob Ekstrom, in Pitt, MN:)
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
tongue:
|
|||
|
|
A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly
|
|||
|
|
crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of
|
|||
|
|
dead cow.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
yogurt:
|
|||
|
|
Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated
|
|||
|
|
and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods
|
|||
|
|
that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other
|
|||
|
|
two are goulash and squid.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
recipe:
|
|||
|
|
A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing
|
|||
|
|
ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't
|
|||
|
|
own, to make a dish the dog won't eat the rest of.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
porridge:
|
|||
|
|
Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since
|
|||
|
|
children were granted the right to sue their parents.
|
|||
|
|
The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid",
|
|||
|
|
"hORRId" and "sluDGE".
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
preheat:
|
|||
|
|
To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time
|
|||
|
|
before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be
|
|||
|
|
burned when the food is put in, as well as when it
|
|||
|
|
is removed.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
oven:
|
|||
|
|
Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky
|
|||
|
|
pieces of meat and poultry.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
microwave oven:
|
|||
|
|
Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle
|
|||
|
|
of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food
|
|||
|
|
placed within the cooking compartment.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
calorie:
|
|||
|
|
Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by
|
|||
|
|
the average individual prior to taking a second helping
|
|||
|
|
of a particular food.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
arab coffee:
|
|||
|
|
Thick, black, bitter coffee, traditionally served in
|
|||
|
|
tiny cups at gunpoint.
|
|||
|
|
--
|
|||
|
|
Brett Slocum <hi-csc!slocum@uunet.uu.net>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
--
|
|||
|
|
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP
|
|||
|
|
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing.
|
|||
|
|
Remember: Don't send to me and rec.humor at the same time. Try to wait.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|